BARSAAT

Can't sleep... guess I slept for too long during the day... So, I'm going through my music library for the perfect lullaby for tonight... good news is I found it; bad news (for most of you) is that it's in Hindi... lol. But I'll share anyways, I love this song!

	www.downloadming.com - 01 Barsaat Ke Din Aaye www.downloadming.com .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

And here's the picture of the actors in the movie:

Btw, 'Barsaat' means 'Rain'... Have a pleasant night, y'all... x

¡Feliz Navidad

And here is my favourite xmas song for the year, can't get it outta my head!

	Jessica Simpson - the little drummer boy .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

I love y'all! No, seriously, I do!

Hola Hola Hola!!!

Been a minute I did this… been buried in so much paperwork! Phew! Ok y’all need to hold up, what I meant by paperwork was… school stuff… exams, tests, assignments etc. and the only reason why I can rest and blog now is cos ASUU has done it again! *applauds* On the real there’s nothing to applaud #straightface!

So this blog is about… nada! I’m just checking on y’all… blowing kisses to those that have been visiting the spot all the while I disappeared, and all that actually read ‘em blogs (cos I know some of y’all just come on and get off…). And to all my followers, I love y’all… thank you for following… you’re just all lil darlings! And I won’t forget my critics, the ones that say I write irrelevant stuff even though they’ve never gotten on here (yeah Femi, I’m talking to you!) Lol…

So who else likes the new MTN BB advert? I do! Then Monica won the just-concluded MTN Project Fame… some people think that wasn’t fair judgment. Well, whatever mehn! These things happen! Ok, so I gotta go… got an assignment I gotta finish up before tomorrow night… Merry Xmas in advance to you all; don’t forget to hook your girl up with whatever gig that’s coming up, my social life totally needs to wear a push-up/wonder bra! *winks* Kiss kiss, and good night! xoxo

The whole world is a scam

– Busola Olude

If I can’t read, I can believe

– Adeolu Salawu

Coffee is the thing you have before you pay the check to go have sex

– Blair Waldorf

People do irrational things during sex, they bark for God and scream for their mothers!

– Blair Waldorf

It is true that pleasure does dull all other senses

– Chuck Bass

OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS... or not!

Angelica Jacobs gets more than she bargained for when a handsome contractor falls through the roof of her Bed & Breakfast. Can anyone say foursome?

***

Workplace Hazards and Means of Risk Reduction in Bakeries… That’s my project topic. Been on it since March. Under normal circumstances, I shoulda been done with it by now, but having to research and also do school work, assignments, exams and being transferred from one Supervisor to the other, all at the same time doesn’t exactly allow for full concentration. My social life is at a total 0 as it is right now!

***

Evidently feeling left out, Ben sidled over to mold against her back, fitting his cock between her upper thighs so he could rub against her pussy. She hummed as she kissed Corey, loving the feel of two hands cradling her face while two more reached around her to palm her breasts.


***

Don’t worry, this is not two blogs being commingled, or maybe it is! *shrugs*. As I was saying, I couldn’t fully concentrate on one task, so going to the field for thorough research was outta the question. Therefore, I thought I’mma be best friends with my first love, Google. (Or was Wiki my first?) If only I knew what I was getting myself into!

***

Alcohol had dulled her wits. And obviously her judgment. Nothing between them would ever be the same after tonight, and she hadn’t decided if that was a good or a bad thing. By fucking her guys, she might be destroying her Dream Team. At that moment, she wanted them both so desperately, she wasn’t sure she cared. There was more to life than work, and damn, but she never, ever believed she’d think that.


***

As I had been doing since Chapter One, I typed in “Occupational Hazard, recommendation/solutions” into the Google search bar, I was referred to a couple of links; one of them looked promising, so I clicked away. I guess not everything that looks useful IS useful, cos these images came on my screen immediately:

plus plenty stories like all the ones in italics above, and below!

Wrapping her arms around Luke and Derrick, she grabbed their butt cheeks and pulled them into a tight formation with Ty firmly wedged between them. “I want to feel your balls on my face,” she said, her voice rough and breathless with lust.

Lifting their cocks to expose their soft sacs, they thrust their hips forward, caressing her cheeks and lips with their testicles.


Eeeeewwwww! I was left unbalanced for the next hour… and I totally abandoned my Chapter Five…

So currently, here is my profile:


Name: Faith ‘Ruby’ John

Occupation: Student

Risk/Hazard Exposed to: Unintentionally stumbling upon porn-related sites in the course of work

Damage Done So Far: Psychological (and maybe physiological) imbalance from reading texts as such above

I need therapy and compensation!!!

Yours is not to wonder why, yours is to do or die

– Blair Waldorf

*geek glasses on, reads from a book*

According to John Stacey Adams (1962), employees seek to maintain equity between the inputs that they bring to a job and the outcomes that they receive from it against the perceived inputs and outcomes of others.

Inputs can vary from time to effort, loyalty, hardwork, commitment, ability, adaptability, flexibility, tolerance, determination, enthusiasm, personal sacrifice, trust in partner, support, skill, etcetera. Outcomes on the other hand should include consequences such as security, esteem, financial rewards, recognition, reputation, sense of achievement, praise, thanks, and cetera.
Equity theory proposes that individuals who perceive themselves as either under-rewarded or over-rewarded will experience distress and that this distress leads to efforts to restore equity within the relationship.

*puts book down*

Hey, hi… the subject-matter today is:

Equity Theory: Why Women Nag!

So that you and I (yes, you reading this) can get through this blog together successfully, consider me as a genderless individual right now. The only genderless human being you’ve ever and will ever know. Can you do that? Yeah? Merci!

Ok, I wrote a paper last Sunday, and one of the topics I was supposed to prepare for was ‘Equity Theory and Compensation’. As I was reading all the texts I had on this topic, my brain was quietly soaking the spermatozoa of ideas coming through to it, eventually it became pregnant with one major idea; and blam! this blog was born! *clapping with glee*
I’m sure you’re all wondering how I’m going to corroborate the reasons why women nag with employee compensation… well, I will. I’m genius like that! #conceited

Let’s start. I am going to assume that everyone reading this blog has been in a TRUE relationship one time or the other. And we all know that there are things, factors or elements we bring into the relationship in our bid to make the relationship work; we’ll just call those things our INPUTS. And we also expect some things in return? We’ll call those expected OUTCOMES. Are you with me?
I mentioned some inputs above that employee brings into the organisation they’ve come to work in it, we’re going to take those same inputs and talk about how girls bring them into a relationship. Time and effort, even the fake girlfriends are going the extra mile to impress that boy so they can ‘chop his money’, not to talk of the girl that really digs her man and cuts time with her gfs and even family to be with and for her man… Loyalty, Hardwork, Commitment; true girlfriends are committed to their man and loyal and faithful, they want it to work by all means… Ability, Adaptability, Flexibility, Tolerance; I know girls that go to learn how to cook just to keep their man, who try so hard to adapt and tolerate the dude’s sisters and friends… Determination, Enthusiasm, Personal sacrifice; to be sincere, it’s the girl that brings all the enthusiasm into the relationship, forgetting that it was the guy that begged and cried to date her, after she says ‘Yes’, she’s the one that’s so excited to be in the relationship, like she just struck gold! I’m not saying she hasn’t, some dudes are actually gold, but showing a little enthusiasm that the girl agreed to date them would go a long way… Trust in partner, Support, Skill; I think girls trust faster than guys do, and show support! Plus in terms of skills, I know girls who watch porn just cause they wanna know how to satisfy their man! Is that even right?!

Now, a girl puts all these into the relationship, maybe she even agrees to marry you, and she has your babies… what is wrong with giving her all the OUTCOMES I mentioned above, and more! Security in the relationship, Esteem and respect (in private, in front of your family and friends and the neighbours), Financial rewards (buy her stuff once in a while, take her out) Recognition, Reputation, Sense of achievement, Praise, Thanks – appreciate her, it’s not too much to ask for! Afterall, she said ‘yes’, she’s the one who’s body is falling apart cos she’s had your kids! And don’t tell me about body fitness and gym and liposuction and shit… cos all that don’t work in Nigeria (except you’re paying for it, yes you dude!). She’s the one who’s body is starting to droop cos of rigorous sexual activities; oh don’t even start to say you didn’t know that could happen! The only thing wrong with your body is the pot-belly you’re acquiring from excessive beer-consumption. You know what?! I take back what I said earlier, don’t see me as genderless… I am ‘genderfull’, I am a woman, a woman that’ll put all she’s got into a relationship. So I’ll nag if I don’t get what is expected or rightfully mine! Heck! you guys don’t even get stretch marks… and you still have the guts not to appreciate all the cooking and kid-raising, working part-time, feeding you, making love with you! You know what some girls get in return for all they do? Abuse – physical, emotional, psychological. Some get beaten, battered, badgered, raped for loving their man!

*breathes* Do you now see how equity theory and compensation explains why women nag? Maybe just as we’re getting the drooping bodies and the stretch marks, y’all are getting it too, maybe we wouldn’t nag so much!

SAMSONIA

Y’all remember Samson, right? The very physically strong dude (physically, being the emphatic word) in the Bible stories… you do? Good, so I’m sure you remember too that his hair was the source of his strength? Great! Let’s move on… do we remember the sexy Delilah? I mean, no one really knows if she was sexy, but she must have been something for a great man like Samson to fall for her… are you now getting why PHYSICALLY was an emphatic word? Not yet?

Ok, Samson was infatuated with Delilah… a seductress from Philistine. For some reason (that I really can’t remember now), Delilah was taboo to Samson; but because our dear physically strong man wasn’t exactly as strong when it comes to… errr… women? He totally fell for her, and eventually gave him the password to his strength… his 7 locks of hair! Samson who used to slay thousands, even with the jawbone of an ass got destroyed by one woman (and we don’t even know if she was even worth it! Does anyone have Delilah’s picture? I need to know if that broad was sexy and shit, or not!)


- quick stop before I continue my story… Guys, are you paying attention? Most of you can slay thousands in businesses, be a huge success, but you just have to eat the forbidden fruit that will ruin everything for you, don’t ya?! Change your ways! I don’t think any girl or the goods she’s got is worth destroying your entire future; learn from your ancestor – Samson. #nuffsaid!

Let’s move on. My story isn’t about Samson, not really. My story is about my roomie. And I’ve decided since last Saturday to call her Samsonia (that’s the only word I thought would be appropriate to be like the female version of the name ‘Samson’; since Samsonic sounds like a video game or a refrigerator, lol!). So, Samsonia is my roomie… I’ll quickly tell you about her… she loves cooking, she’s really hardworking, really hardworking, she hardly falls ill, she’s those types that you wonder if she’s a cyborg or something… simply put, she’s the female version of the person ‘Samson’; except she doesn’t slay thousands with the jawbone of an ass… lol. So, I found out her weak point last week, and it’s amazing cos it’s the same as her twin’s that was born thousands of years ago. Whenever she does anything to her hair, wash it, set it, weave, fix, whatever, she just goes all weak and tired and she has to sleep all day to recover her strength. Now, ain’t that weird! I wonder what would happen if she got her hair cut like Samson did… I don’t think I wanna find out!

Clash of the Behemoths

Inhabitants of Ogun State, Nigeria can agree with me that the past few weeks has been hot, and I’m not talking of the weather!

On the 11th of November, almost all the banks in the main Campus of the Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ogun State were robbed. Properties were destroyed and lives were lost! Till date, students are still scared to walk into the campus to do anything… I know I am! (Pictures below):

On the 22nd of November, we had just concluded a test (in another of OOU’s Campus) when we saw students running and screaming. The uproar became wilder when gunshots were heard just at the entrance to the campus. In my mind, I was like “Oh, not again!” Something similar occurred in my first year in this school, and it was a very unpleasant experience! Okay, y’all wondering why people were running? It wasn’t another robbery… it was some frat thing… a certain powerful ‘one’ had been killed, and it was time to turn the school upside down!

A few days later, there was another robbery in Ijebu-Ode… following days later, group of banks were robbed in Shagamu too… heard people were killed too!

Few nights after these incidences, I was on my verandah trying to cool off, when people started running again, doors and windows were being closed, shops were being locked from the inside, gunshots were heard in the distant… oh, it wasn’t a robbery, nah, not at that time of the night. It was the other one – the frats’ collision again.

Between these two events, these two very bad occurrences that was clashing – the robberies and the battles – I was wondering what I was still doing in school, why I hadn’t run to Lagos to my mother’s breasts! I’ll tell you why… we’re in the middle of an examination period!

So I was wondering, aren’t we supposed to be protected. I mean, we can’t all pack up and go home to wait for the dust to settle, we had exams to write. So where was protection?! My friend answered the question for me – “there are over 10 police, or should we call it bribery stops, on the Shagamu Road going to the East.” There goes my safety and protection! Hell, my mother pays taxes, the parents of the kids that died in school that day of the robbery pay taxes! What for?! For us to have absolutely no protection, for us to get killed? *tears in eyes*

I wasn’t gonna write about this… but when I read minutes ago that groups of banks were being robbed again in Sapon, Abeokuta, I had to dedicate a blog to those whose lives might be taken today and those whose lives have been lost already in these heart-breaking, saddening events! *lighting a candle and saying a prayer*

Badly Drawn Dobs: PRINCE CHARMIN'; in chinese made armor

Badly Drawn Dobs: PRINCE CHARMIN'; in chinese made armor:

Ladies, am in my Dr. Phil mode today, so picture this… You’re trapped in dreary life on a haunted mansion with no love and as if that wasn't a raw deal enough, your ugly evil aunt (your only relative) threw one more nasty surprise into the whole shebang, she told you that your ass is goin to be given away to the ugly and arrogant old money of the town pretty soon! Now tell me, what would be goin’ through your mind? Your Disney-brain washed ass is pro’ly imagining a bad ass dude comin’ through all decked up in shinnin’ armor and shit. You pictured him testin’ his all white horse’s ass with his custom made whip, urgin’ the freakin’ horse to fuckin speed up, a pretty lady (you) needs to be rescued. Hee haw, your prince charmin’ cometh! Yea, I thought so! Please, shit jus don’t happen like that in real life, or do they?

Yeah, sometimes prince charmin’ swings into town jus like Walt Disney said he would, you know, the custom made shinin’ armor by Armani, the leather sandal by Gucci, the snow white thorough bred stallion from Argentina and the whole nine yard! Ladies, are you smilin’ already? Ah ah, I know…that nigga PC will definitely come through soon and scoop that ass up, right? Uh huh, I see you noddin’ your pretty heads to this sweet prince charmin’ music...

But then again, what if prince charmin’ jus don’t show up at all! But why, you asked? C’mon, do you really need to ask, huh? I know you already know the answer; you know that there’s every possibility that nigga already went somewhere else to safe someone else. Uh huh, some other pretty assed shawtie already officially had him on lock down and there’s no escapin’!

Ladies, am I sayin’ the truth or what? Should I go on? Ok

Other times, the prince maybe late! Why? Cause he was busy getting his money right! Yeah, that nigga knows that ladies need to be taken good care of (his mama told him so), so he may be held up tryna stack up that cash cause he’s seen enough to know that no ladies want to be messin’ with no broke nigga (prince charmin’ or not).

Ladies, when the time the late-comin’ prince charmin’ shows up; make sure your ass is not already wife’d by some other nigga in a Chinese made armor suit! If in your impatience you gave in to a prince charmin wanna-be, then be sure you don’t go callin’ the late-comin’ prince out of curiosity on some idle Tuesday afternoon. Why? Jus don’t be shocked if he starts hummin’ Kanye West’s Can’t Tell Me Nuthin’ in your ear.

"Excuse me, is you sayin’ somethin’?
Ah ha, can’t tell me nuthin’’

Lastly, there may be no prince charmin’! Heartbreaking, isn’t it?

Did that come out wrong?

Ok, let me rephrase that, prince charmin’ may jus be that average Joe who’s been tryin’ to holla at your arrogant ass since forever but you jus didn’t let your sweet self see that the fabled prince don’t always gallop into town on an all white steed, so you keep givin’ that thing that thing that thiiiiing *in Lauryn Hill’s voice* to them niggas frontin’ like the real McCoy!

Ask Funmi, a beautiful girl I went to the university with, she knows what am talkin’ about. She used to tell us (her male friends, me Melvin and ‘em) back then that she was holdin’ out for a nigga like Tyson Beckford (damn! that nigga messed up alotta girls’ head) and shit but she fell for a nigga who was totally opposite!

There are so many prince charmings out there… keep searchin’ but be sure you got that princess charmin' make-up on, ok?

Cain and Wife!

So after I saw that post about 15 ways you can get a wife on facebook, something caught my attention… Cain married and apparently had a son, Enoch. There’s nothing wrong about that, right? Right! I mean, even the bad ones end up getting some of the good things of life like a wife and a good son that walked uprightly with God. He even built a city! A whole city! Anyways that’s not where I’m going… where I’m going is Cain’s wife. Yeah, the damsel that bore him Enoch. Now, let you and I go back thousand of years ago… ready? *fastening seat belt*

CAIN

Meaning – A possession; a spear.
The first-born son of Adam and Eve (Gen. 4). He became a tiller of the ground, as his brother Abel followed the pursuits of pastoral life. He was "a sullen, self-willed, haughty, vindictive man; wanting the religious element in his character, and defiant even in his attitude towards God." It came to pass "in process of time" (marg. "at the end of days"), i.e., probably on the Sabbath, that the two brothers presented their offerings to the Lord. Abel's offering was of the "firstlings of his flock and of the fat," while Cain's was "of the fruit of the ground." Abel's sacrifice was "more excellent" (Heb. 11:4) than Cain's, and was accepted by God. On this account Cain was "very wroth," and cherished feelings of murderous hatred against his brother, and was at length guilty of the desperate outrage of putting him to death (1 John 3:12). For this crime he was expelled from Eden, and henceforth led the life of an exile, bearing upon him some mark which God had set upon him in answer to his own cry for mercy, so that thereby he might be protected from the wrath of his fellow-men; or it may be that God only gave him some sign to assure him that he would not be slain (Gen. 4:15). Doomed to be a wanderer and a fugitive in the earth, he went forth into the "land of Nod", i.e., the land of "exile", which is said to have been in the "east of Eden," and there he built a city, the first we read of, and called it after his son's name, Enoch. His descendants are enumerated to the sixth generation.


Ok, back to today… did anything in that short time travel make you raise your eyebrow? No? Yes? Not one tiny event? Huh? O_o… *sighs* ok, I’ll help you. Right from time, it was just Adam and Eve, yeah? Then they both had Abel and Cain… (making 4 people on earth)… one thing led to the other, Cain murdered Abel. So God sent him out of Eden and he became a wanderer… (now it’s been cut down to 3 people on earth). Getting the picture yet? Ok wait, eventually Cain had a son… Pray tell, where did Cain find a wife?! I don’t wanna make assumptions or start playing the guess game… but seriously, WHERE ON EARTH DID CAIN FIND THE WOMAN THAT BORE HIM ENOCH?! WHERE? WHERE?!

I was really bothered about this that I had to ask a friend, he concluded that the woman musta been Cain’s sister, born by Adam and Eve themselves! That would make sense, right. But it still doesn’t make sense to me… there is no record of a girl-child from the first ever couple that Cain coulda impregnated or married. My friend agreed that it was puzzling, but then that no matter how puzzling it can be, we all still came from two people – Adam and Eve! Now, that got me thinking again… if we all came from 2 people, and the world’s population is at 7 billion people currently, I wonder what level of ‘great’ and ‘grand’ Adam and Eve would be at now. They can’t even be my great greater greatest grand grander grandest parents! It’d be way beyond that! Hahaha!

*** if you figured out about Cain and the mother of his son, do let me know. Arigatto!

The Top 15 Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
(Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

Find a prostitute and marry her.
(Hosea 1:1-3)

Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
(Moses--Exodus 2:16-21)

Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
(Boaz--Ruth 4:5-10)

Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
(Benjaminites--Judges 21:19-25)

Have God create a wife for you while you sleep . Note: this will cost you.
(Adam--Genesis 2:19-24)

Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife.
(Jacob--Genesis 29:15-30)

Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
(David--1 Samuel 18:27)

Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone.
(It's all relative, of course.)
(Cain--Genesis 4:16-17)

Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
(Xerxes or Ahasuerus--Esther 2:3-4)

When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a . woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
(Samson-- Judges 14:1-3)

Kill any husband and take HIS wife
(Prepare to lose four sons, though).
(David--2 Samuel 11)

Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow.
(It's not just a good idea; it's the law.)
(Onana and Boaz--Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
(Solomon--1 Kings 11:1-3)

A wife?...NOT?
(Paul--1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

The Wedding

Saturday, the 12th of November

Y’all remember I said last Saturday that one of us was getting married this weekend? Right! You know these kinda weddings that you’re friends with both the bride and the groom and you’re just really happy for both of ‘em… it was that sorta wedding. The groom is a brother from another mother, and the bride? my course mate and friend.

The Preparation
Dressing up for a wedding can be tough, even when you’re not tying ‘gele’ or anything like that. I thought having the ‘bestfwendeth’ sleep over would make things easier, but nah! it even made things worse! That girl can fuss over the smallest things!

Anyways we ended up looking like this:

The dude in the middle would be my brother, and the beaut in jumpsuit would be the 'bestfwendeth'

The Court Wedding

That took place at the Ikeja Registry. I don’t wanna go into details but I’ll just say I’ve been discouraged! I don’t think I’m gonna have a court wedding, at least not in Ikeja Registry. The stress, the standing, the heat – I was melting. We’d been there since 10a.m. but it wasn’t our turn until 3 p.m. And then when we finally got into the courtroom, there were 5 other couples! They were marrying 6 couples at the same time! What?! No! I don’t want something like that! I want just me and my husband in that courtroom when it’s my turn. The woman that wedded them sef, she was just vexing up and down! Screaming at people, asking us to turn off our phones if we don’t wanna pay fines… she even made the couples kiss for a very long time. There was no power, no fans or ACs were working, it was hot! It was crazy! But at the end, they were married – thank God; and it was such a relief to be on our way back home.

We took pictures at the wedding too, tho I don’t have those of the bride and groom (they don’t want it published yet!), buh I have these:

Of course, you already know that the one in the black jacket is yours truly! Enjoy your week, sweethearts!

ELEVEN… eleven… 11

They say dates like this happen once in a 100 years, na true? Too lazy to calculate, abeg. So some say it’s a day that carries a lot of spiritual things, some say it’s just an ordinary day. Me? I was expecting something extraordinary to happen, like maybe a star falling from the skies in the daytime!

Anyways, I didn’t sit at home and wait for something extraordinary to happen. I went about my day… had a lot of errands that day, and a lot of places to go; and one of those places was my folks’.
So I got to my folks’, been a while we hooked up, it was like a reunion. No joy on earth can be compared with that of seeing the faces of your beloved ones again, believe it!

Hours later, I was ready to go home… That was my 11.11.11. And guess what? The stars did fall in the daytime… in the eyes of my brothers. Their eyes shone when they saw me and that was extraordinary enough for me!

BUSINESS SUNDAY!

I told y’all in the blog before this one that last Sunday was Business Sunday in my church… now I love y’all so much that I’m going to painstakingly type on here the things I learnt. It’s a whole lot, I wrote down 3 pages of useful information about being an entrepreneur; so I’m just gonna post the parts I think are very essential…

First thing I wrote, “The quality of your decision depends on the quality of the information you receive.” Yup, I learnt we are limited by the bundle of information at our disposal.

Now most people think entrepreneurship is just about setting up business and being your own boss, it actually has different dimensions, it could mean:
- Introduction of a new product(s)
- Introduction of a new method of production
- Discovery of a new market
- Combining existing resources in a new and more productive way
- Delivering values to a community or group of communities

So, whatever you choose in all of the above, you can either be a Social Enterpreneur (e.g. Philanthropists) or an Economic Enterpreneur (strictly a profit-oriented businessman).

Sitting directly under the oscillating fan, I was penning away about the qualities an entrepreneur should possess: persistence, calculated risk-taker, goal-oriented behaviour, innovative, visionary, problem-solver, hard-worker, independence, strong desire to achieve and succeed, self-confidence etcetera.

Now the part that really caught my attention was the WHY SHOULD I WORK FOR MYSELF part! These are some of the reasons why you should be your own boss:

1. My employer will never make me rich
2. He is able to peg my progress
3. He gives me jobs all my life
4. He gives the illusion of job security
5. He pays me enough not to allow me quit
6. He makes me believe I cannot live without my salary
7. He keeps me obligated through the fear of losing my job
8. He takes away the most profitable and prime time of my life
9. He uses me as a leverage for his wealth

Aint bosses just bitches?! Oops… I didn’t just say that, did I? Oh well…

ENTERPRENEURSHIP, fact and fiction

FICTION: An entrepreneur must be born that way
FACT: Anyone can learn to operate or be an entrepreneur

Ok, so that’s it! Church was fun, church was inspiring! Time to put our thinking caps on… what kinda business can I engage in? I think I know mine already… won’t tell tho *wink*

Oh yeah, and then the man said “If you’re looking for an easy way to succeed, you’ll find an easy way to collapse!” Ponder!

My Sallah!

Who doesn’t love an extended weekend, especially if it’s by 2 days?! I sure do! Not like I work some’n major or resume somewhere every morning…or anything like that, but having access to your workaholic friends on a Monday and Tuesday can sometimes be bliss… too bad the bliss ends today! So Saturday till today (Tuesday) has been great!

SATURDAY

Laundry… house chores… pictures, pictures, pictures! Sleep… Friend visited… I’m always excited Saturday evenings cos church was just around the corner, guess what they say is true; you know, that saying where they say ‘where two or more are gathered…’, nah, not that one… the one that says ‘in the presence of God, there’s fullness of joy’! Yeah, that one. So I get down to ironing my Sunday attire (which most of you saw and loved!). Oh, and my mouth was watering already for the palatable delicacies my mouth was gonna enjoy the next day…

SUNDAY

I woke up as hungry as a… a… I sha woke up really hungry. Tea? Or noodles? Hard to decide which one to send down to my stomach before I headed for church, so I ended up having both! Got into my attire… and off we rode to church on a bike, bro and I.
Business Sunday… isn’t it just cool when you go to church sometimes and it’s not the usual sermon et al! I had gotten a text a day before that it was gonna be Business Sunday, but what I had in mind wasn’t what occurred. It was hella cool (I stole that statement… hella cool!). It was like a seminar, big screen, handouts et al. Really nice… and it’s just wonderful how you can always merge God and everything… they were teaching us on how to be entrepreneurs, and somehow they made us see none was possible without God… you better take note!

***

I love my cousins, the Duados. They know how to throw a good party… you see, my cousins are Christians, but they have a Moslem grandmother and Moslem aunts and uncles. So somehow, they get to celebrate all the religious holidays unlike some of us… #luck

After church and a few phone calls, bro and I found ourselves on the way to their crib. We got caught in the rain, but it was worth it… yeah, it was! Rice and fried beef roaming around in their living room, sending aromas through my nose down to my stomach… oh, I gotta get me some of that, I thought! And yup, I did… small portion of well-cooked, delicious Jollof Rice and 2 huge pieces of fried meat… and juice to go with it! I’m sure most of y’all saw my “stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey” FB status…

The Deejay-ing
Ok, this is the thing… whenever there’s a we-we party like this one, there are some of us that are known to take over the ‘wheels of steel’. Abbie is somewhere in Chicago freezing her ass out, Bee was probably at another show, so on this occasion, bro and I were the ones in charge. I started queuing songs from my laptop, all the songs I knew would get the gang swinging their hips, alanta-ing, break-dancing etcetera! Ears plugged, nodding to the song playing from my laptop, enjoying every bit of the moment… this guy walks up to me and says the elder ones want Fuji! What?! *sobbing* Long story short… within seconds, the speakers was booming “Eyin mama e sempe…” What the hell does that even mean?! Anyways, they had their way and we were all forced to listen to KWAM 1.

The Reunion
I was beginning to think the day wouldn’t be as interesting as I’d thought, when the other half of the crew walked in! Separation is a huge thing, but when y’all get together again? Endless excitement! Endless gists, endless gossip, hugs, kisses, teasing, a lotta foul/vulgar language (courtesy Biyi)… it was like old times again! I loved it. And the interesting part? One of us is getting married this weekend, and another the next weekend!

At the end of the day, I hooked a free ride back home… and trust me, it only gets better! More food when I got home! God bless the Moslem folks!

MONDAY & TUESDAY

The streets smelled of ram blood and remains! Eeew! Ugh! But who am I to complain! Thank God PSP came and cleaned it up later tho! Well, the holidays are over… almost over! I’m back to working on my project, Vernalsage is back at work (poor thing, didn’t even get today off! Lol).

That was my Sallah in a nutshell; how was yours?

Since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it’s time we killed for our women, be real to our women, try to heal our women, 'cause if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies, who make the babies.

- Unknown

Total Eclipse... and then Bright Light!

March 29, 2006

My first conscious eclipse… I heard one occurred in 2001, and I’m wondering where I was when it happened and why I can’t remember it. Anyways back to 2006, I was at work, my colleagues and I were anticipating the eclipse, so were other Nigerians. Warnings and instructions were all over television… when the sun comes out, don’t stare at it, you might hurt your eyes; don’t panic when it gets dark… and other stuff like that! But you know, people of my cognate are too curious for our own good. When I say cognate, I’m not talking blood here, I’m talking of folks that we’re related by certain qualities such as mischief, sometimes detrimental curiosity, etcetera… I’m sure you get the point! So, people of my cognate stared at the sun that day (and probably got blurry vision like I did for the rest of the day). Disobedience never does any good!

So that was it, my first eclipse. It was cool, having everywhere go dark and out-of-balance for a while; and then the bright sun that followed crowned it all… it was beautiful for me. Thank God I could still see even through my blurry vision.

October 27, 2011

My room in school became dark all of a sudden, and it was just about 5pm. It was about to rain, obviously. But it had never gotten as dark as that before, the clouds were almost black, had to use a torch to see. My curiosity got the better of me again, I walked out to the verandah, the cold breeze blowing my face. It all just reminded me of that eclipse in 2006 that I narrated above, minus the cold breeze. Then it rained for a moment, the dark clouds went away and beautiful light came streaming through the new clouds… it made me think and it brought a smile to my face.

What It Made Me Think?
There comes a time or times in our lives when things go dark and out-of-balance… and the skies might tear up over our heads and send harsh cold wind that knock the breath out of us; situations where you just break down and cry and it seems the rain will never stop; scenarios where darkness fills your world and you panic… yeah, there are times like that! I’ve had my own fair share of those times. But I’mma encourage you like I was encouraged on that rainy dark cloudy day and the day of the total eclipse (yeah, I’m nice like that, I love to encourage people *grins*)… 4 words: “and then bright light!”

See that image above? See that light trying to get out behind that very dark, almost-dreadful darkness? Yeah, that’s your light. The light at the end of your tunnel, the bright blinding light just behind that total eclipse you’re going through! It’s coming; wait for it… but when it comes, it can be overwhelming and imperceptible, don’t stare directly at it in the face (lest you wanna get blurry vision like me)… bask in it when it comes, take your time and enjoy the warmth before you totally embrace it!

Okay, enough “pastoring”, I love y’all. Peace!

Once men have tasted Caviar, it baffles me how they settle for Catfish!

– Blair Waldorf

They say it’s a broken heart but I hurt in my whole body

– Blair Waldorf

Revenge? Nah, I’m too lazy, I’ll just let Karma fuck you up!

– Anon.

The Black-belt Rat!

Friends talk about the darndest things, don’t they?! So, we were gathered again in my living room to catch up on things, I had just come home and so had my friend… me, 2 weeks in school; him, 2 months in school… plenty gist, you can guess!
Our conversation took different paths; courses, girls, boys, graduation, life after the big G… and then somehow, the conversation took a very interesting turn; down we went to the paths of the rodents – dear sweet rats! Rats have become famous these days; the ‘roaches oughta be jealous! Now I know plenty of us like to act like we don’t got those tiny black sacks of mischief and annoyance, but hey! who are we kidding! Even the cleanest places’ got a rat or two! Those things can be persistent.

Now to my story… my friend was telling me about the rat that used to live in his room. He said he’s been trying to kill it for weeks, one day he even almost emptied his room but that wise rat hid itself well enough – gave my buddy a hard time, that one! Lol. Anyways, turns out ‘smartrat’ wasn’t so smart after all… one evening, it showed up while my boy was chilling with his visitors; after plenty running after it and throwing things, he caught the rat and did something really gruesome to it. He held it by its tail, poured kerosene on it, set it aflame and put it back on the ground… poor thing danced and shrilled to its death! *sobs* I don’t care what that rat did, it certainly didn’t deserve to go like that *sniffing*

Then my brother cut in, tells the story of how a certain rat climbed up on my cousin’s bed to tickle her fingers! What?! I burst out laughing… I know we got cute fingers in our family but I didn’t know they’ve started attracting rats! Or… you don’t think that rat wanted to put a ring on my cousin’s finger, do you?! Lmfao! Mehn, if na that one, I sure as hell don’t give a rat’s ass about a rat’s ring! Hahaha! *reaching for the tissue*

That was when we went on to ranking the rats, all the rats we’ve known… the one that lived from infant to a well-grown rodent in my boy’s room was definitely a black-belt rat, it certainly possessed numerous survival skills; the one that tried to put a ring on my cousin’s finger is an R-rated rat (the romantic one, lol!); the one that bit and chewed one old man’s fingers years ago was an HWEA rat (hungry-would-eat-anything); those that just like to run around on our ceilings are the Racerats; and the ones that just eat all the food in the kitchen are just the Regulars!

When another rat comes your way, kill it if you want but don’t set it aflame like my friend did; ‘roaches totally deserve that kinda death but not rats!

4 THINGS... on a Friday!

So I promised y’all a TGIF blog, well… here it is! I don’t know what to write about really… I was hoping my day would be eventful, but nothing ‘bloggable’ has happened yet… so I’ll just do this thing someone tagged me in:

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. PA to a Lawyer (if you can call it that. I typed ‘sotay’, my fingers wan peel!)
2. CyberCafe Attendant
3. Script-Writing
4. Err… and my Mom pays me to pay attention in school (hehe!)

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. Psychologist/Shrink/Counsellor (I might actually get there, I see the signs…)
2. Ballet dancer (does that even count as a job?)
3. PA to Weezy F. Baby
4. Profiler for the FBI

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Basic Instincts I&II
2. Double Wedding (just to drool at O-T Fagbenle over and over)
3. Seducing Mr. Perfect
4. Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Lagos
2. Ijebu-Igbo
3. …
4. … (why did they insist on four this and four that, by the way!)

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. 24
2. Brothers & Sisters
3. Teju Babyface Show (what’s happening with that, anyways?)
4. Naruto (this is supposed to be on No. 1 buh I’m too lazy to move it)

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. Ado-Ekiti
2. Benin
3. Ibadan
4. Greece (in my dreams)

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. Blogger (to do my blog rounds)
2. Facebook, most def
3. The Frisky
4. Google (why don’t I see Google as a website anymore?)

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Coleslaw with plenty of Mayonnaise
2. Fufu with self-made Efo Riro with plenty ponmo
3. Does Beef Burger/Shawarma count?
4. Indomie with diced pepper, and sardines

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Octopus, Snails
2. Fried, broiled, boiled, steamed, bbq’d, roasted human beings (I would never!)
3. Beans (esp. with Plaintain, it disgusts me)
4. Amala (even if it’s with the most delicious soup on earth)

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Goodtime’s beef burger or hotdog
2. Iya Joe’s Rice with the huge huge ponmo
3. Spaghetti cooked by my brother
4. Chivita’s Power of 5

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. My spring bed
2. Novels
3. Clothes
4. My Yao Ming, Steve Nash & co. wallpaper (yes Abbie, I still have that wallpaper!)

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. A really huge mirror
2. More closet space
3. A Persian carpet
4. More Clothes

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. A bra
2. Leggings
3. Black nail polish
4. Mascara

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. On a beach (the weather is unbearably hot!)
2. With “him”
3. Sweet Sensations, Ogba
4. Anywhere that I don’t have to put on too many clothing

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. In Badly Drawn Dobs' head (somebody’s got to figure out how that guy thinks)
2. Greece
3. With O-T Fagbenle
4. Konoha; Naruto’s Konoha

FIVE PEOPLE YOU'D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. God
2. Myself
3. My BFF
4. Emily Blunt
5. Teju Babyface

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. Does cussing in my mind serve as thinking cos that’s what I’m doing, cussing PHCN
2. To go visit my friend or not
3. To call a particular strong-headed person or not
4. What to eat!

FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE THINGS
1. Red Wine
2. Phones
3. Strong, masculine legs and arms
4. Sleeping in the dark

FOUR THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I love burials than weddings
2. Sarcastic and blunt
3. I wear a fake smile half the time
4. I like holding something to my chest; my handbag, my pillow, but never a teddy bear, na ahn!


Finally! It’s over! Phew!

It’s still the hot Friday… but thank God I have that bottle of ‘Carlo Rossi’ cooling just for me in the fridge (thanks to my Uncle!). TGIF peeps, get wild tonight! I know I will… *wink*

Nigerian Politics (definition):

A day of promises; and plenty other days of disappointments!

- my very hilarious Uncle

Guys & Skinny Jeans!

I proudly possess a black pencil jean, I call her Sally. Yes, my pencil jean is a ‘her’ and yes! I named her! I have this habit of naming my favourite things. Anyways, I’ve been wearing her for a long time now and I am oh so reluctant to bury her just yet… the way she carves out my thighs and that little thing I call a behind, I just love! We all know how the guys love a girl with nice straight legs, with the curves right where they oughta be at! I’m not saying that’s why I love my dear Sally… okay, I lied! That’s why I love Sally, plus me and her go way back.
To the point… so I come back from school one afternoon and my brother walks into the living room wearing nothing butfl a blue jean. There’s nothing wrong with that picture, right? But there was, at least back then there was! His jean was cut skinny! The words were outta my mouth before I could control myself “dude, is someone bending you over now?!” You can imagine all the nasty names he called me, one of them being ‘old school’. He said I was ‘old school’ cos I didn’t know skinny jeans was what was in vogue now for the guys! Skinny jeans! How?! What was more shocking was that he no longer owned one regular-cut jean… all the jeans in his wardrobe had somehow transformed to skinny jeans.

That same week, I was flipping through a Nigerian fashion magazine, and there was this dude in this really cool shirt and skinny-cut trouser! I checked the description below the picture and they called this particular piece of clothing “a carrot pant”. What? So it doesn’t end on jeans, they’ve extended it to trousers too? Carrot pant, indeed!

Now you ask me what my take is on skinny jeans/carrot pants? I’ll tell you… even though I regularly call my brother ‘gay’, I must be sincere and say those skinny jeans look good on the dude; and that guy in the magazine, that orange carrot pant looked extremely lovely on him! However, there is always that other side of the coin, innit?

I was at a party some weeks back and this dude was in skinny jean (that no longer surprises me!). The thing was cut too tight and too slim, for a boy! In my mind, I was like “okay, maybe this guy has nice legs, but now I don’t even wanna see anymore!” I’m a sucker for nice, hot, strong, masculine legs… but thing is, even if that guy possessed such, the jean had already pissed me off! Dude, obviously drew bad attention that day! Somehow, I remembered my ex. Let’s call him Bob. For all I lacked in ‘backside’, Bob made up for it! That man’s got very lush behind that I love to grab all the time! Now, imagine Bob in skinny jeans! I don’t even wanna picture it, I love my mind’s eye too much, don’t want it to go blind! Whoever said ‘cut your coat according to your size’ was definitely not talking about that lush behind and skinny jeans. LWKMD!

My conclusion? I think we should all just put on what fits us and makes us free (to move and from gossip!). One tiny problem I might have though is that, what would a guy in skinny jean do if he gets a hard-on, with hardly a pocket to put his hand in! #dilemma

SONG OF MY LOVE-LIFE

Most of you already know how much I loathe Fuji Music, never have been a fan, never will be… I got none against those who are fans tho. Back here in school, if you get on a bus or a cab, it’s always one Fuji song or the other playing on the car stereo… it pisses me off and makes me pray the driver would speed up and get to my destination fast. You can imagine how happy I was on this particular day, when we got on a cab, me and my girl, Nikky… trying to get to the comfort of our rooms after a very long day. Inside the cab, the driver had Terry G spilling his regular nonsense through the speakers. I love that dude’s songs sometimes; weird? Well, so did the driver cos he bobbed his head all the way as Mr. Free Me did his thing (and so did I). Then the song ended, and 2Face’s African Queen came on, the driver’s countenance and mood immediately changed and he fumbled with the player, trying to get the next track to play. At that point, I knew something was wrong, either this dude wasn’t so big on 2Face or he wasn’t big at that moment on whoever was/is the queen of his heart… next track came on alright, and it was PSquare’s I love you; now I was certain something was terribly wrong as this driver kept soliloquising saying “I don’t love you, you’re not my African queen”… mumbling and muttering stuff to himself… he succeeded in changing the track again, to my own detriment this time tho, to a Fuji song… *sighs* Now he was happy, screaming at the top of his voice, singing along with whoever the Fuij artiste was.

I’m not going to pick on Fuji music today, that’s not the aim of this blog… the aim of this blog (if you’re attentive, you’d have gotten it) is about relationships… yeah, your relationship… with whoever you’re dating or married to. I’m not a psychologist/relationship analyst (yet, but I try *grins*) but I could read stuff from that cabbie’s actions, gestures and emotions that day… that dude was hurt, real bad! Maybe some native pretended to be in love with him and took all his cab money… haha! Ok, not funny… anyways, that occurrence got me reflecting on things and a question popped up “What’s your love-life like? What’s your marriage like?” how many of us hear a song on the radio and want to quickly change the station cos that song brings really bad memories… how many of us wanna turn that volume up cos that song just delights your heart and soul with the thoughts of that beloved? Does that song make you cuss, or does it make you grin real wide in pleasure or amusement?

Take a few seconds, put yourself on the hot seat and answer those questions... is she/he the love of your life or the terror of your life; does he/she make you wanna run home to meet him/her, or are they like that kid in ‘Case 39’ with that frightful “Why, Emily? Why, Emily? Why, Emily?” on her lips? Does the situation of your romance make you wanna chill and listen to that RnB playing on the radio, or does it make you wanna grab the radio in search of anything else, even a Fuji song when you’re not a fan? Does your heart quicken in fear when you remember your partner, or does it quicken in delectation?
Answer those questions… maybe you’ll end up doing some good for yourself today! As for me… I got that Bryan Adam’s ‘Please Forgive Me’ playing in my head since last night, and my heart races when I picture that face! Did someone just ask “in fear or delight”? Why, delight of course! *wink* xoxo

My Life Would Suck Without You, Not!

“Guess this means you’re sorry/ you’re standing out my door… guess this means you take back all you’ve said before/ like how much you wanted anyone but me/ said you’d never come back/ but here you are again!!!”

5:30 a.m. – Usually, I’m still supposed to be having those sweet dreams; those ones where I’m on a world tour with the love of my life, or those ones where Bow Wow takes me shopping, grabbing all the Christian Louboutin shoes in sight (not like I wear heels in real life…). Yeah those sweet dreams! So you’re wondering why I’m awake? I mean, I can be an insomniac sometimes… but not this time. This time I want to sleep so bad, hide under my covers and keep warm, but no! I can’t do that… I have a deadline to meet... #projecttinz! The person that said final year no be beanz is totally on point!

Anyways, my ears are plugged (as usual)… Kelly Clarkson’s got me nodding my head (*hits head against the wall* oww!) Now you know the reason I put those lyrics up there first. As I was listening to ‘My life would suck without you’, I was browsing through – in my head – my archive of conversations; I couldn’t help but shake my head. Doesn’t it just annoy you when people come back to apologise for something they said earlier to you? Could be weeks back, could be years ago, could be minutes earlier… they look you in the face (or the cowards text you or post on your facebook wall/inbox) and say a lot of rubbish and hurtful stuff, only for them to come back later to apologise. Does it piss you off? It does? It doesn’t? Well, it f**king infuriates me!

“Babe, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say all that stuff, I didn’t mean none of it…”
“Look, I was stupid, I shoulda known better…”
Bla… bla… BLAH!

Let me clarify things here… I’m not talking about people who talk and say stuff cos they’re hurt too or angry – I got none against y’all but maybe you need to work on that anger and temperament. I’m talking about people who look you in the face, not drunk, not high on something, not in pains; people who just like to hurt you on purpose, who like to trample on your self-esteem and self-worth, people who want to infect you with their inferiority complex! Also people who would like to save face and the best ways they think they can do that is talk rubbish.

Okay, so a guy calls you names, tells you you’re not even close to being human… and other nasty stuff… weeks later, he waltzes back into your life and tell you sorry and your dumbass thinks he’s back cos you guys belong together? You’re dumb and Kelly Clarkson lied!!! You don’t belong together… was he drunk when he called you names and said stuff about your parents?

Or a girl leaves you cos you’re broke, she calls you names and compares you with your friends, walks away and then comes back when your ass is all rich and e’ertything… and you wanna take her back cos you think she’s back cos you guys belong together and your life would suck without her? So wrong! That'll be just so retarded!

Your life cannot suck without an idiot that calls you names and makes you feel less of yourself… someone who makes you feel like say you be chinco! Your life would totally rock without that person… trust me! Just thot you should know…

My Goth Wedding:

So in one week I became a god-mother (I think) and an aunt (I'm sure!)... phew! Not an easy task... lol. Anyways, big shoutout to my friend, Wale Owolabi on his baby; and to my brother, Rossie on his baby too!

To the point>>> plenty of my friends are saying it's my turn... well, I no argue o, e fit be my turn but at least wedding go come first na, no be so? Wedding... now that got me thinking and visualizing... and I decided, I want A GOTH WEDDING!

I'm not going to narrate much, I got everything that I planned in pictures... ready?

REBELKWEEN'S GOTH WEDDING (coming soon!)

1. MY GOTH WEDDING GOWN

2. MY GOTH SHOE

3. MY GOTH BOUQUET

Don't you just love the black feathers and one rose flower concept?! Exquisite!

4. MY GOTH HEADPIECE/VEIL

5. MY GOTH MANICURE

6. MY GOTH MAKE-UP

It's either this:

or this:

7. OUR GOTH RING

We'll choose one of these two:

8. MY GOTH WEDDING CAKE

Have a hard time choosing between these two:

But I think I like the one with the castle better...

9. MY GOTH BRIDESMAIDS (will be dressed like this)

10. THE GOTH BAND

I was thinking 'My Love' by The Sins of Thy Beloved would be nice? Lol... Listen to it:

	The Sins Of Thy Beloved - My Love .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Hahaha... that's pretty much everything I have planned for the wedding proper; for the wedding night, I digged up a very sexy... I'll just show you:

11. MY GOTH WEDDING-NIGHT LINGERIE

#droolmuch? Pele... Lmao!

So all I have to find now is MY GOTH GROOM... or maybe I've found him... will keep you posted *wink wink*

LUST-HAVES!

I was not aware that my friend was looking at me, shaking her head as I eyed that ponmo in the pot, planning how to claim it for my already watering-mouth... She claims the day I stop eating ponmo, then the world is about to end then. That's Nike... she could never understand what my obsession is about. Cy, on the other hand thinks I love ponmo too much that it's almost unhealthy... ah ahn, how na?!

The point of this blog... there are some edibles that I can never resist! NEVER!!! If you plan to poison me, then this blog will be really useful to you cos there's no way I can turn down the things I'm about to list... Let's start from the obvious:

1. PONMO

I love ponmo. If there's a word greater than love, I would use it... especially the soft, juicy ones; the ones that has been soaked in stew for a long time... gawd! Just thinking about it is orgasmic. I'll delight you with 2 pictures:

How can I love this to an unhealthy point? Tseww... beef! Talking about beef, on to the next one.

2. BEEF BURGER

There are days I crave a beef burger like crazy, and I must have it ni o. You can imagine how excited I was when this new eatery opened not so far from my crib, and it turned out they have the best beef burger in my neighbourhood! Trust me, I know...

Ok, let's move on to the ones that are less of a meal...

3. CHEESE BALLS & MILK

Hahaha! I just remembered the look on my friend's face when I told him how much I love Cheese Balls and milk! I like the cheese taste and the way it just melts in your mouth, plus the feeling in your mouth when you gulp that milk and let it trickle down your throat, letting that creamy taste cling to the roof of your mouth.

Did someone just say "Are you 5?" Lemme shock you with my next cant-resist.

4. CERELAC

Yup! You read right! Cerelac. I remember how I used to sneak to the baby's room, open the lid of the tin quietly and scoop spoons of that crunchy Cerelac into my palm... hahaha! Too bad the baby's all grown now. My future baby better not be stingy, we gonna be eating that Cerelac together. God bless Nestle!

5. COLESLAW

"...with lots of mayonnaise please" That's what I told the attendant at Nando's. I wanted to have Pizza, but I just had to have that Coleslaw too... so I ordered both. I love Coleslaw, need I say more?!

6. KETCHUP & PEANUT BUTTER

Relax, I don't lick 'em together... just separately. If I'm mad at you, all you have to do is carry a bottle/jar of these two. I love to just dip my finger in the container and lick. I never get enough!

7. COCA-COLA

Simply put, I'm addicted!

8. COFFEE CHEWING-GUM

All close friends of mine know I can't resist Coffee Chewing-gum... I love the smell, the lingering taste of coffee in my mouth; it isn't just the same when you drink coffee! Plus it keeps me awake in class!

9. SNICKERS

I should tell you the story of the day Snickers saved my life... (and major league shoutout to CY... thanks for bringing the Snickers!). Anyways, I love chocolate but I looooove Snickers!

Ok, don't freak out for the last 2...

10. LIME (aka Osan wewe)

Lmao! Told you not to freak out! I just like that the thing is sour (same reason why I like 'correct' garri). I like to cut it in half, and squeeze straight on my tongue (and it ends up cutting my tongue); sometimes I squeeze it in water and drink...

the final one is my favourite fruit! weird?

11. GUAVA

I've said it all... It's my favourite fruit. I love the crunchy, not-so-ripe ones, all green and harder than my teeth!

Are y'all gonna warn me about Appendicitis now? Leave that to Iya Faith, she's been doing a great job of it since when I became that kid who realised there's no fruit like my beloved Guava!