Badly Drawn Dobs: PRINCE CHARMIN'; in chinese made armor:
Ladies, am in my Dr. Phil mode today, so picture this… You’re trapped in dreary life on a haunted mansion with no love and as if that wasn't a raw deal enough, your ugly evil aunt (your only relative) threw one more nasty surprise into the whole shebang, she told you that your ass is goin to be given away to the ugly and arrogant old money of the town pretty soon! Now tell me, what would be goin’ through your mind? Your Disney-brain washed ass is pro’ly imagining a bad ass dude comin’ through all decked up in shinnin’ armor and shit. You pictured him testin’ his all white horse’s ass with his custom made whip, urgin’ the freakin’ horse to fuckin speed up, a pretty lady (you) needs to be rescued. Hee haw, your prince charmin’ cometh! Yea, I thought so! Please, shit jus don’t happen like that in real life, or do they?
Yeah, sometimes prince charmin’ swings into town jus like Walt Disney said he would, you know, the custom made shinin’ armor by Armani, the leather sandal by Gucci, the snow white thorough bred stallion from Argentina and the whole nine yard! Ladies, are you smilin’ already? Ah ah, I know…that nigga PC will definitely come through soon and scoop that ass up, right? Uh huh, I see you noddin’ your pretty heads to this sweet prince charmin’ music...
But then again, what if prince charmin’ jus don’t show up at all! But why, you asked? C’mon, do you really need to ask, huh? I know you already know the answer; you know that there’s every possibility that nigga already went somewhere else to safe someone else. Uh huh, some other pretty assed shawtie already officially had him on lock down and there’s no escapin’!
Ladies, am I sayin’ the truth or what? Should I go on? Ok
Other times, the prince maybe late! Why? Cause he was busy getting his money right! Yeah, that nigga knows that ladies need to be taken good care of (his mama told him so), so he may be held up tryna stack up that cash cause he’s seen enough to know that no ladies want to be messin’ with no broke nigga (prince charmin’ or not).
Ladies, when the time the late-comin’ prince charmin’ shows up; make sure your ass is not already wife’d by some other nigga in a Chinese made armor suit! If in your impatience you gave in to a prince charmin wanna-be, then be sure you don’t go callin’ the late-comin’ prince out of curiosity on some idle Tuesday afternoon. Why? Jus don’t be shocked if he starts hummin’ Kanye West’s Can’t Tell Me Nuthin’ in your ear.
"Excuse me, is you sayin’ somethin’?
Ah ha, can’t tell me nuthin’’
Lastly, there may be no prince charmin’! Heartbreaking, isn’t it?
Did that come out wrong?
Ok, let me rephrase that, prince charmin’ may jus be that average Joe who’s been tryin’ to holla at your arrogant ass since forever but you jus didn’t let your sweet self see that the fabled prince don’t always gallop into town on an all white steed, so you keep givin’ that thing that thing that thiiiiing *in Lauryn Hill’s voice* to them niggas frontin’ like the real McCoy!
Ask Funmi, a beautiful girl I went to the university with, she knows what am talkin’ about. She used to tell us (her male friends, me Melvin and ‘em) back then that she was holdin’ out for a nigga like Tyson Beckford (damn! that nigga messed up alotta girls’ head) and shit but she fell for a nigga who was totally opposite!
There are so many prince charmings out there… keep searchin’ but be sure you got that princess charmin' make-up on, ok?
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Cain and Wife!
So after I saw that post about 15 ways you can get a wife on facebook, something caught my attention… Cain married and apparently had a son, Enoch. There’s nothing wrong about that, right? Right! I mean, even the bad ones end up getting some of the good things of life like a wife and a good son that walked uprightly with God. He even built a city! A whole city! Anyways that’s not where I’m going… where I’m going is Cain’s wife. Yeah, the damsel that bore him Enoch. Now, let you and I go back thousand of years ago… ready? *fastening seat belt*
CAIN
Meaning – A possession; a spear.
The first-born son of Adam and Eve (Gen. 4). He became a tiller of the ground, as his brother Abel followed the pursuits of pastoral life. He was "a sullen, self-willed, haughty, vindictive man; wanting the religious element in his character, and defiant even in his attitude towards God." It came to pass "in process of time" (marg. "at the end of days"), i.e., probably on the Sabbath, that the two brothers presented their offerings to the Lord. Abel's offering was of the "firstlings of his flock and of the fat," while Cain's was "of the fruit of the ground." Abel's sacrifice was "more excellent" (Heb. 11:4) than Cain's, and was accepted by God. On this account Cain was "very wroth," and cherished feelings of murderous hatred against his brother, and was at length guilty of the desperate outrage of putting him to death (1 John 3:12). For this crime he was expelled from Eden, and henceforth led the life of an exile, bearing upon him some mark which God had set upon him in answer to his own cry for mercy, so that thereby he might be protected from the wrath of his fellow-men; or it may be that God only gave him some sign to assure him that he would not be slain (Gen. 4:15). Doomed to be a wanderer and a fugitive in the earth, he went forth into the "land of Nod", i.e., the land of "exile", which is said to have been in the "east of Eden," and there he built a city, the first we read of, and called it after his son's name, Enoch. His descendants are enumerated to the sixth generation.
Ok, back to today… did anything in that short time travel make you raise your eyebrow? No? Yes? Not one tiny event? Huh? O_o… *sighs* ok, I’ll help you. Right from time, it was just Adam and Eve, yeah? Then they both had Abel and Cain… (making 4 people on earth)… one thing led to the other, Cain murdered Abel. So God sent him out of Eden and he became a wanderer… (now it’s been cut down to 3 people on earth). Getting the picture yet? Ok wait, eventually Cain had a son… Pray tell, where did Cain find a wife?! I don’t wanna make assumptions or start playing the guess game… but seriously, WHERE ON EARTH DID CAIN FIND THE WOMAN THAT BORE HIM ENOCH?! WHERE? WHERE?!
I was really bothered about this that I had to ask a friend, he concluded that the woman musta been Cain’s sister, born by Adam and Eve themselves! That would make sense, right. But it still doesn’t make sense to me… there is no record of a girl-child from the first ever couple that Cain coulda impregnated or married. My friend agreed that it was puzzling, but then that no matter how puzzling it can be, we all still came from two people – Adam and Eve! Now, that got me thinking again… if we all came from 2 people, and the world’s population is at 7 billion people currently, I wonder what level of ‘great’ and ‘grand’ Adam and Eve would be at now. They can’t even be my great greater greatest grand grander grandest parents! It’d be way beyond that! Hahaha!
*** if you figured out about Cain and the mother of his son, do let me know. Arigatto!
CAIN
Meaning – A possession; a spear.
The first-born son of Adam and Eve (Gen. 4). He became a tiller of the ground, as his brother Abel followed the pursuits of pastoral life. He was "a sullen, self-willed, haughty, vindictive man; wanting the religious element in his character, and defiant even in his attitude towards God." It came to pass "in process of time" (marg. "at the end of days"), i.e., probably on the Sabbath, that the two brothers presented their offerings to the Lord. Abel's offering was of the "firstlings of his flock and of the fat," while Cain's was "of the fruit of the ground." Abel's sacrifice was "more excellent" (Heb. 11:4) than Cain's, and was accepted by God. On this account Cain was "very wroth," and cherished feelings of murderous hatred against his brother, and was at length guilty of the desperate outrage of putting him to death (1 John 3:12). For this crime he was expelled from Eden, and henceforth led the life of an exile, bearing upon him some mark which God had set upon him in answer to his own cry for mercy, so that thereby he might be protected from the wrath of his fellow-men; or it may be that God only gave him some sign to assure him that he would not be slain (Gen. 4:15). Doomed to be a wanderer and a fugitive in the earth, he went forth into the "land of Nod", i.e., the land of "exile", which is said to have been in the "east of Eden," and there he built a city, the first we read of, and called it after his son's name, Enoch. His descendants are enumerated to the sixth generation.
Ok, back to today… did anything in that short time travel make you raise your eyebrow? No? Yes? Not one tiny event? Huh? O_o… *sighs* ok, I’ll help you. Right from time, it was just Adam and Eve, yeah? Then they both had Abel and Cain… (making 4 people on earth)… one thing led to the other, Cain murdered Abel. So God sent him out of Eden and he became a wanderer… (now it’s been cut down to 3 people on earth). Getting the picture yet? Ok wait, eventually Cain had a son… Pray tell, where did Cain find a wife?! I don’t wanna make assumptions or start playing the guess game… but seriously, WHERE ON EARTH DID CAIN FIND THE WOMAN THAT BORE HIM ENOCH?! WHERE? WHERE?!
I was really bothered about this that I had to ask a friend, he concluded that the woman musta been Cain’s sister, born by Adam and Eve themselves! That would make sense, right. But it still doesn’t make sense to me… there is no record of a girl-child from the first ever couple that Cain coulda impregnated or married. My friend agreed that it was puzzling, but then that no matter how puzzling it can be, we all still came from two people – Adam and Eve! Now, that got me thinking again… if we all came from 2 people, and the world’s population is at 7 billion people currently, I wonder what level of ‘great’ and ‘grand’ Adam and Eve would be at now. They can’t even be my great greater greatest grand grander grandest parents! It’d be way beyond that! Hahaha!
*** if you figured out about Cain and the mother of his son, do let me know. Arigatto!
The Top 15 Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife
Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
(Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
Find a prostitute and marry her.
(Hosea 1:1-3)
Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
(Moses--Exodus 2:16-21)
Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
(Boaz--Ruth 4:5-10)
Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
(Benjaminites--Judges 21:19-25)
Have God create a wife for you while you sleep . Note: this will cost you.
(Adam--Genesis 2:19-24)
Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife.
(Jacob--Genesis 29:15-30)
Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
(David--1 Samuel 18:27)
Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone.
(It's all relative, of course.)
(Cain--Genesis 4:16-17)
Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
(Xerxes or Ahasuerus--Esther 2:3-4)
When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a . woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
(Samson-- Judges 14:1-3)
Kill any husband and take HIS wife
(Prepare to lose four sons, though).
(David--2 Samuel 11)
Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow.
(It's not just a good idea; it's the law.)
(Onana and Boaz--Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
(Solomon--1 Kings 11:1-3)
A wife?...NOT?
(Paul--1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
(Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
Find a prostitute and marry her.
(Hosea 1:1-3)
Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
(Moses--Exodus 2:16-21)
Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
(Boaz--Ruth 4:5-10)
Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
(Benjaminites--Judges 21:19-25)
Have God create a wife for you while you sleep . Note: this will cost you.
(Adam--Genesis 2:19-24)
Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife.
(Jacob--Genesis 29:15-30)
Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
(David--1 Samuel 18:27)
Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone.
(It's all relative, of course.)
(Cain--Genesis 4:16-17)
Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
(Xerxes or Ahasuerus--Esther 2:3-4)
When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a . woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
(Samson-- Judges 14:1-3)
Kill any husband and take HIS wife
(Prepare to lose four sons, though).
(David--2 Samuel 11)
Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow.
(It's not just a good idea; it's the law.)
(Onana and Boaz--Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
(Solomon--1 Kings 11:1-3)
A wife?...NOT?
(Paul--1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
The Wedding
Saturday, the 12th of November
Y’all remember I said last Saturday that one of us was getting married this weekend? Right! You know these kinda weddings that you’re friends with both the bride and the groom and you’re just really happy for both of ‘em… it was that sorta wedding. The groom is a brother from another mother, and the bride? my course mate and friend.
The Preparation
Dressing up for a wedding can be tough, even when you’re not tying ‘gele’ or anything like that. I thought having the ‘bestfwendeth’ sleep over would make things easier, but nah! it even made things worse! That girl can fuss over the smallest things!
Anyways we ended up looking like this:
The dude in the middle would be my brother, and the beaut in jumpsuit would be the 'bestfwendeth'
The Court Wedding
That took place at the Ikeja Registry. I don’t wanna go into details but I’ll just say I’ve been discouraged! I don’t think I’m gonna have a court wedding, at least not in Ikeja Registry. The stress, the standing, the heat – I was melting. We’d been there since 10a.m. but it wasn’t our turn until 3 p.m. And then when we finally got into the courtroom, there were 5 other couples! They were marrying 6 couples at the same time! What?! No! I don’t want something like that! I want just me and my husband in that courtroom when it’s my turn. The woman that wedded them sef, she was just vexing up and down! Screaming at people, asking us to turn off our phones if we don’t wanna pay fines… she even made the couples kiss for a very long time. There was no power, no fans or ACs were working, it was hot! It was crazy! But at the end, they were married – thank God; and it was such a relief to be on our way back home.
We took pictures at the wedding too, tho I don’t have those of the bride and groom (they don’t want it published yet!), buh I have these:
Of course, you already know that the one in the black jacket is yours truly! Enjoy your week, sweethearts!
Y’all remember I said last Saturday that one of us was getting married this weekend? Right! You know these kinda weddings that you’re friends with both the bride and the groom and you’re just really happy for both of ‘em… it was that sorta wedding. The groom is a brother from another mother, and the bride? my course mate and friend.
The Preparation
Dressing up for a wedding can be tough, even when you’re not tying ‘gele’ or anything like that. I thought having the ‘bestfwendeth’ sleep over would make things easier, but nah! it even made things worse! That girl can fuss over the smallest things!
Anyways we ended up looking like this:
The dude in the middle would be my brother, and the beaut in jumpsuit would be the 'bestfwendeth'
The Court Wedding
That took place at the Ikeja Registry. I don’t wanna go into details but I’ll just say I’ve been discouraged! I don’t think I’m gonna have a court wedding, at least not in Ikeja Registry. The stress, the standing, the heat – I was melting. We’d been there since 10a.m. but it wasn’t our turn until 3 p.m. And then when we finally got into the courtroom, there were 5 other couples! They were marrying 6 couples at the same time! What?! No! I don’t want something like that! I want just me and my husband in that courtroom when it’s my turn. The woman that wedded them sef, she was just vexing up and down! Screaming at people, asking us to turn off our phones if we don’t wanna pay fines… she even made the couples kiss for a very long time. There was no power, no fans or ACs were working, it was hot! It was crazy! But at the end, they were married – thank God; and it was such a relief to be on our way back home.
We took pictures at the wedding too, tho I don’t have those of the bride and groom (they don’t want it published yet!), buh I have these:
Of course, you already know that the one in the black jacket is yours truly! Enjoy your week, sweethearts!
ELEVEN… eleven… 11
They say dates like this happen once in a 100 years, na true? Too lazy to calculate, abeg. So some say it’s a day that carries a lot of spiritual things, some say it’s just an ordinary day. Me? I was expecting something extraordinary to happen, like maybe a star falling from the skies in the daytime!
Anyways, I didn’t sit at home and wait for something extraordinary to happen. I went about my day… had a lot of errands that day, and a lot of places to go; and one of those places was my folks’.
So I got to my folks’, been a while we hooked up, it was like a reunion. No joy on earth can be compared with that of seeing the faces of your beloved ones again, believe it!
Hours later, I was ready to go home… That was my 11.11.11. And guess what? The stars did fall in the daytime… in the eyes of my brothers. Their eyes shone when they saw me and that was extraordinary enough for me!
Anyways, I didn’t sit at home and wait for something extraordinary to happen. I went about my day… had a lot of errands that day, and a lot of places to go; and one of those places was my folks’.
So I got to my folks’, been a while we hooked up, it was like a reunion. No joy on earth can be compared with that of seeing the faces of your beloved ones again, believe it!
Hours later, I was ready to go home… That was my 11.11.11. And guess what? The stars did fall in the daytime… in the eyes of my brothers. Their eyes shone when they saw me and that was extraordinary enough for me!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
BUSINESS SUNDAY!
I told y’all in the blog before this one that last Sunday was Business Sunday in my church… now I love y’all so much that I’m going to painstakingly type on here the things I learnt. It’s a whole lot, I wrote down 3 pages of useful information about being an entrepreneur; so I’m just gonna post the parts I think are very essential…
First thing I wrote, “The quality of your decision depends on the quality of the information you receive.” Yup, I learnt we are limited by the bundle of information at our disposal.
Now most people think entrepreneurship is just about setting up business and being your own boss, it actually has different dimensions, it could mean:
- Introduction of a new product(s)
- Introduction of a new method of production
- Discovery of a new market
- Combining existing resources in a new and more productive way
- Delivering values to a community or group of communities
So, whatever you choose in all of the above, you can either be a Social Enterpreneur (e.g. Philanthropists) or an Economic Enterpreneur (strictly a profit-oriented businessman).
Sitting directly under the oscillating fan, I was penning away about the qualities an entrepreneur should possess: persistence, calculated risk-taker, goal-oriented behaviour, innovative, visionary, problem-solver, hard-worker, independence, strong desire to achieve and succeed, self-confidence etcetera.
Now the part that really caught my attention was the WHY SHOULD I WORK FOR MYSELF part! These are some of the reasons why you should be your own boss:
1. My employer will never make me rich
2. He is able to peg my progress
3. He gives me jobs all my life
4. He gives the illusion of job security
5. He pays me enough not to allow me quit
6. He makes me believe I cannot live without my salary
7. He keeps me obligated through the fear of losing my job
8. He takes away the most profitable and prime time of my life
9. He uses me as a leverage for his wealth
Aint bosses just bitches?! Oops… I didn’t just say that, did I? Oh well…
ENTERPRENEURSHIP, fact and fiction
FICTION: An entrepreneur must be born that way
FACT: Anyone can learn to operate or be an entrepreneur
Ok, so that’s it! Church was fun, church was inspiring! Time to put our thinking caps on… what kinda business can I engage in? I think I know mine already… won’t tell tho *wink*
Oh yeah, and then the man said “If you’re looking for an easy way to succeed, you’ll find an easy way to collapse!” Ponder!
First thing I wrote, “The quality of your decision depends on the quality of the information you receive.” Yup, I learnt we are limited by the bundle of information at our disposal.
Now most people think entrepreneurship is just about setting up business and being your own boss, it actually has different dimensions, it could mean:
- Introduction of a new product(s)
- Introduction of a new method of production
- Discovery of a new market
- Combining existing resources in a new and more productive way
- Delivering values to a community or group of communities
So, whatever you choose in all of the above, you can either be a Social Enterpreneur (e.g. Philanthropists) or an Economic Enterpreneur (strictly a profit-oriented businessman).
Sitting directly under the oscillating fan, I was penning away about the qualities an entrepreneur should possess: persistence, calculated risk-taker, goal-oriented behaviour, innovative, visionary, problem-solver, hard-worker, independence, strong desire to achieve and succeed, self-confidence etcetera.
Now the part that really caught my attention was the WHY SHOULD I WORK FOR MYSELF part! These are some of the reasons why you should be your own boss:
1. My employer will never make me rich
2. He is able to peg my progress
3. He gives me jobs all my life
4. He gives the illusion of job security
5. He pays me enough not to allow me quit
6. He makes me believe I cannot live without my salary
7. He keeps me obligated through the fear of losing my job
8. He takes away the most profitable and prime time of my life
9. He uses me as a leverage for his wealth
Aint bosses just bitches?! Oops… I didn’t just say that, did I? Oh well…
ENTERPRENEURSHIP, fact and fiction
FICTION: An entrepreneur must be born that way
FACT: Anyone can learn to operate or be an entrepreneur
Ok, so that’s it! Church was fun, church was inspiring! Time to put our thinking caps on… what kinda business can I engage in? I think I know mine already… won’t tell tho *wink*
Oh yeah, and then the man said “If you’re looking for an easy way to succeed, you’ll find an easy way to collapse!” Ponder!
My Sallah!
Who doesn’t love an extended weekend, especially if it’s by 2 days?! I sure do! Not like I work some’n major or resume somewhere every morning…or anything like that, but having access to your workaholic friends on a Monday and Tuesday can sometimes be bliss… too bad the bliss ends today! So Saturday till today (Tuesday) has been great!
SATURDAY
Laundry… house chores… pictures, pictures, pictures! Sleep… Friend visited… I’m always excited Saturday evenings cos church was just around the corner, guess what they say is true; you know, that saying where they say ‘where two or more are gathered…’, nah, not that one… the one that says ‘in the presence of God, there’s fullness of joy’! Yeah, that one. So I get down to ironing my Sunday attire (which most of you saw and loved!). Oh, and my mouth was watering already for the palatable delicacies my mouth was gonna enjoy the next day…
SUNDAY
I woke up as hungry as a… a… I sha woke up really hungry. Tea? Or noodles? Hard to decide which one to send down to my stomach before I headed for church, so I ended up having both! Got into my attire… and off we rode to church on a bike, bro and I.
Business Sunday… isn’t it just cool when you go to church sometimes and it’s not the usual sermon et al! I had gotten a text a day before that it was gonna be Business Sunday, but what I had in mind wasn’t what occurred. It was hella cool (I stole that statement… hella cool!). It was like a seminar, big screen, handouts et al. Really nice… and it’s just wonderful how you can always merge God and everything… they were teaching us on how to be entrepreneurs, and somehow they made us see none was possible without God… you better take note!
***
I love my cousins, the Duados. They know how to throw a good party… you see, my cousins are Christians, but they have a Moslem grandmother and Moslem aunts and uncles. So somehow, they get to celebrate all the religious holidays unlike some of us… #luck
After church and a few phone calls, bro and I found ourselves on the way to their crib. We got caught in the rain, but it was worth it… yeah, it was! Rice and fried beef roaming around in their living room, sending aromas through my nose down to my stomach… oh, I gotta get me some of that, I thought! And yup, I did… small portion of well-cooked, delicious Jollof Rice and 2 huge pieces of fried meat… and juice to go with it! I’m sure most of y’all saw my “stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey” FB status…
The Deejay-ing
Ok, this is the thing… whenever there’s a we-we party like this one, there are some of us that are known to take over the ‘wheels of steel’. Abbie is somewhere in Chicago freezing her ass out, Bee was probably at another show, so on this occasion, bro and I were the ones in charge. I started queuing songs from my laptop, all the songs I knew would get the gang swinging their hips, alanta-ing, break-dancing etcetera! Ears plugged, nodding to the song playing from my laptop, enjoying every bit of the moment… this guy walks up to me and says the elder ones want Fuji! What?! *sobbing* Long story short… within seconds, the speakers was booming “Eyin mama e sempe…” What the hell does that even mean?! Anyways, they had their way and we were all forced to listen to KWAM 1.
The Reunion
I was beginning to think the day wouldn’t be as interesting as I’d thought, when the other half of the crew walked in! Separation is a huge thing, but when y’all get together again? Endless excitement! Endless gists, endless gossip, hugs, kisses, teasing, a lotta foul/vulgar language (courtesy Biyi)… it was like old times again! I loved it. And the interesting part? One of us is getting married this weekend, and another the next weekend!
At the end of the day, I hooked a free ride back home… and trust me, it only gets better! More food when I got home! God bless the Moslem folks!
MONDAY & TUESDAY
The streets smelled of ram blood and remains! Eeew! Ugh! But who am I to complain! Thank God PSP came and cleaned it up later tho! Well, the holidays are over… almost over! I’m back to working on my project, Vernalsage is back at work (poor thing, didn’t even get today off! Lol).
That was my Sallah in a nutshell; how was yours?
SATURDAY
Laundry… house chores… pictures, pictures, pictures! Sleep… Friend visited… I’m always excited Saturday evenings cos church was just around the corner, guess what they say is true; you know, that saying where they say ‘where two or more are gathered…’, nah, not that one… the one that says ‘in the presence of God, there’s fullness of joy’! Yeah, that one. So I get down to ironing my Sunday attire (which most of you saw and loved!). Oh, and my mouth was watering already for the palatable delicacies my mouth was gonna enjoy the next day…
SUNDAY
I woke up as hungry as a… a… I sha woke up really hungry. Tea? Or noodles? Hard to decide which one to send down to my stomach before I headed for church, so I ended up having both! Got into my attire… and off we rode to church on a bike, bro and I.
Business Sunday… isn’t it just cool when you go to church sometimes and it’s not the usual sermon et al! I had gotten a text a day before that it was gonna be Business Sunday, but what I had in mind wasn’t what occurred. It was hella cool (I stole that statement… hella cool!). It was like a seminar, big screen, handouts et al. Really nice… and it’s just wonderful how you can always merge God and everything… they were teaching us on how to be entrepreneurs, and somehow they made us see none was possible without God… you better take note!
***
I love my cousins, the Duados. They know how to throw a good party… you see, my cousins are Christians, but they have a Moslem grandmother and Moslem aunts and uncles. So somehow, they get to celebrate all the religious holidays unlike some of us… #luck
After church and a few phone calls, bro and I found ourselves on the way to their crib. We got caught in the rain, but it was worth it… yeah, it was! Rice and fried beef roaming around in their living room, sending aromas through my nose down to my stomach… oh, I gotta get me some of that, I thought! And yup, I did… small portion of well-cooked, delicious Jollof Rice and 2 huge pieces of fried meat… and juice to go with it! I’m sure most of y’all saw my “stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey” FB status…
The Deejay-ing
Ok, this is the thing… whenever there’s a we-we party like this one, there are some of us that are known to take over the ‘wheels of steel’. Abbie is somewhere in Chicago freezing her ass out, Bee was probably at another show, so on this occasion, bro and I were the ones in charge. I started queuing songs from my laptop, all the songs I knew would get the gang swinging their hips, alanta-ing, break-dancing etcetera! Ears plugged, nodding to the song playing from my laptop, enjoying every bit of the moment… this guy walks up to me and says the elder ones want Fuji! What?! *sobbing* Long story short… within seconds, the speakers was booming “Eyin mama e sempe…” What the hell does that even mean?! Anyways, they had their way and we were all forced to listen to KWAM 1.
The Reunion
I was beginning to think the day wouldn’t be as interesting as I’d thought, when the other half of the crew walked in! Separation is a huge thing, but when y’all get together again? Endless excitement! Endless gists, endless gossip, hugs, kisses, teasing, a lotta foul/vulgar language (courtesy Biyi)… it was like old times again! I loved it. And the interesting part? One of us is getting married this weekend, and another the next weekend!
At the end of the day, I hooked a free ride back home… and trust me, it only gets better! More food when I got home! God bless the Moslem folks!
MONDAY & TUESDAY
The streets smelled of ram blood and remains! Eeew! Ugh! But who am I to complain! Thank God PSP came and cleaned it up later tho! Well, the holidays are over… almost over! I’m back to working on my project, Vernalsage is back at work (poor thing, didn’t even get today off! Lol).
That was my Sallah in a nutshell; how was yours?
Friday, November 4, 2011
Since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it’s time we killed for our women, be real to our women, try to heal our women, 'cause if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies, who make the babies.
- Unknown
- Unknown
Total Eclipse... and then Bright Light!
March 29, 2006
My first conscious eclipse… I heard one occurred in 2001, and I’m wondering where I was when it happened and why I can’t remember it. Anyways back to 2006, I was at work, my colleagues and I were anticipating the eclipse, so were other Nigerians. Warnings and instructions were all over television… when the sun comes out, don’t stare at it, you might hurt your eyes; don’t panic when it gets dark… and other stuff like that! But you know, people of my cognate are too curious for our own good. When I say cognate, I’m not talking blood here, I’m talking of folks that we’re related by certain qualities such as mischief, sometimes detrimental curiosity, etcetera… I’m sure you get the point! So, people of my cognate stared at the sun that day (and probably got blurry vision like I did for the rest of the day). Disobedience never does any good!
So that was it, my first eclipse. It was cool, having everywhere go dark and out-of-balance for a while; and then the bright sun that followed crowned it all… it was beautiful for me. Thank God I could still see even through my blurry vision.
October 27, 2011
My room in school became dark all of a sudden, and it was just about 5pm. It was about to rain, obviously. But it had never gotten as dark as that before, the clouds were almost black, had to use a torch to see. My curiosity got the better of me again, I walked out to the verandah, the cold breeze blowing my face. It all just reminded me of that eclipse in 2006 that I narrated above, minus the cold breeze. Then it rained for a moment, the dark clouds went away and beautiful light came streaming through the new clouds… it made me think and it brought a smile to my face.
What It Made Me Think?
There comes a time or times in our lives when things go dark and out-of-balance… and the skies might tear up over our heads and send harsh cold wind that knock the breath out of us; situations where you just break down and cry and it seems the rain will never stop; scenarios where darkness fills your world and you panic… yeah, there are times like that! I’ve had my own fair share of those times. But I’mma encourage you like I was encouraged on that rainy dark cloudy day and the day of the total eclipse (yeah, I’m nice like that, I love to encourage people *grins*)… 4 words: “and then bright light!”
See that image above? See that light trying to get out behind that very dark, almost-dreadful darkness? Yeah, that’s your light. The light at the end of your tunnel, the bright blinding light just behind that total eclipse you’re going through! It’s coming; wait for it… but when it comes, it can be overwhelming and imperceptible, don’t stare directly at it in the face (lest you wanna get blurry vision like me)… bask in it when it comes, take your time and enjoy the warmth before you totally embrace it!
Okay, enough “pastoring”, I love y’all. Peace!
My first conscious eclipse… I heard one occurred in 2001, and I’m wondering where I was when it happened and why I can’t remember it. Anyways back to 2006, I was at work, my colleagues and I were anticipating the eclipse, so were other Nigerians. Warnings and instructions were all over television… when the sun comes out, don’t stare at it, you might hurt your eyes; don’t panic when it gets dark… and other stuff like that! But you know, people of my cognate are too curious for our own good. When I say cognate, I’m not talking blood here, I’m talking of folks that we’re related by certain qualities such as mischief, sometimes detrimental curiosity, etcetera… I’m sure you get the point! So, people of my cognate stared at the sun that day (and probably got blurry vision like I did for the rest of the day). Disobedience never does any good!
So that was it, my first eclipse. It was cool, having everywhere go dark and out-of-balance for a while; and then the bright sun that followed crowned it all… it was beautiful for me. Thank God I could still see even through my blurry vision.
October 27, 2011
My room in school became dark all of a sudden, and it was just about 5pm. It was about to rain, obviously. But it had never gotten as dark as that before, the clouds were almost black, had to use a torch to see. My curiosity got the better of me again, I walked out to the verandah, the cold breeze blowing my face. It all just reminded me of that eclipse in 2006 that I narrated above, minus the cold breeze. Then it rained for a moment, the dark clouds went away and beautiful light came streaming through the new clouds… it made me think and it brought a smile to my face.
What It Made Me Think?
There comes a time or times in our lives when things go dark and out-of-balance… and the skies might tear up over our heads and send harsh cold wind that knock the breath out of us; situations where you just break down and cry and it seems the rain will never stop; scenarios where darkness fills your world and you panic… yeah, there are times like that! I’ve had my own fair share of those times. But I’mma encourage you like I was encouraged on that rainy dark cloudy day and the day of the total eclipse (yeah, I’m nice like that, I love to encourage people *grins*)… 4 words: “and then bright light!”
See that image above? See that light trying to get out behind that very dark, almost-dreadful darkness? Yeah, that’s your light. The light at the end of your tunnel, the bright blinding light just behind that total eclipse you’re going through! It’s coming; wait for it… but when it comes, it can be overwhelming and imperceptible, don’t stare directly at it in the face (lest you wanna get blurry vision like me)… bask in it when it comes, take your time and enjoy the warmth before you totally embrace it!
Okay, enough “pastoring”, I love y’all. Peace!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Black-belt Rat!
Friends talk about the darndest things, don’t they?! So, we were gathered again in my living room to catch up on things, I had just come home and so had my friend… me, 2 weeks in school; him, 2 months in school… plenty gist, you can guess!
Our conversation took different paths; courses, girls, boys, graduation, life after the big G… and then somehow, the conversation took a very interesting turn; down we went to the paths of the rodents – dear sweet rats! Rats have become famous these days; the ‘roaches oughta be jealous! Now I know plenty of us like to act like we don’t got those tiny black sacks of mischief and annoyance, but hey! who are we kidding! Even the cleanest places’ got a rat or two! Those things can be persistent.
Now to my story… my friend was telling me about the rat that used to live in his room. He said he’s been trying to kill it for weeks, one day he even almost emptied his room but that wise rat hid itself well enough – gave my buddy a hard time, that one! Lol. Anyways, turns out ‘smartrat’ wasn’t so smart after all… one evening, it showed up while my boy was chilling with his visitors; after plenty running after it and throwing things, he caught the rat and did something really gruesome to it. He held it by its tail, poured kerosene on it, set it aflame and put it back on the ground… poor thing danced and shrilled to its death! *sobs* I don’t care what that rat did, it certainly didn’t deserve to go like that *sniffing*
Then my brother cut in, tells the story of how a certain rat climbed up on my cousin’s bed to tickle her fingers! What?! I burst out laughing… I know we got cute fingers in our family but I didn’t know they’ve started attracting rats! Or… you don’t think that rat wanted to put a ring on my cousin’s finger, do you?! Lmfao! Mehn, if na that one, I sure as hell don’t give a rat’s ass about a rat’s ring! Hahaha! *reaching for the tissue*
That was when we went on to ranking the rats, all the rats we’ve known… the one that lived from infant to a well-grown rodent in my boy’s room was definitely a black-belt rat, it certainly possessed numerous survival skills; the one that tried to put a ring on my cousin’s finger is an R-rated rat (the romantic one, lol!); the one that bit and chewed one old man’s fingers years ago was an HWEA rat (hungry-would-eat-anything); those that just like to run around on our ceilings are the Racerats; and the ones that just eat all the food in the kitchen are just the Regulars!
When another rat comes your way, kill it if you want but don’t set it aflame like my friend did; ‘roaches totally deserve that kinda death but not rats!
Our conversation took different paths; courses, girls, boys, graduation, life after the big G… and then somehow, the conversation took a very interesting turn; down we went to the paths of the rodents – dear sweet rats! Rats have become famous these days; the ‘roaches oughta be jealous! Now I know plenty of us like to act like we don’t got those tiny black sacks of mischief and annoyance, but hey! who are we kidding! Even the cleanest places’ got a rat or two! Those things can be persistent.
Now to my story… my friend was telling me about the rat that used to live in his room. He said he’s been trying to kill it for weeks, one day he even almost emptied his room but that wise rat hid itself well enough – gave my buddy a hard time, that one! Lol. Anyways, turns out ‘smartrat’ wasn’t so smart after all… one evening, it showed up while my boy was chilling with his visitors; after plenty running after it and throwing things, he caught the rat and did something really gruesome to it. He held it by its tail, poured kerosene on it, set it aflame and put it back on the ground… poor thing danced and shrilled to its death! *sobs* I don’t care what that rat did, it certainly didn’t deserve to go like that *sniffing*
Then my brother cut in, tells the story of how a certain rat climbed up on my cousin’s bed to tickle her fingers! What?! I burst out laughing… I know we got cute fingers in our family but I didn’t know they’ve started attracting rats! Or… you don’t think that rat wanted to put a ring on my cousin’s finger, do you?! Lmfao! Mehn, if na that one, I sure as hell don’t give a rat’s ass about a rat’s ring! Hahaha! *reaching for the tissue*
That was when we went on to ranking the rats, all the rats we’ve known… the one that lived from infant to a well-grown rodent in my boy’s room was definitely a black-belt rat, it certainly possessed numerous survival skills; the one that tried to put a ring on my cousin’s finger is an R-rated rat (the romantic one, lol!); the one that bit and chewed one old man’s fingers years ago was an HWEA rat (hungry-would-eat-anything); those that just like to run around on our ceilings are the Racerats; and the ones that just eat all the food in the kitchen are just the Regulars!
When another rat comes your way, kill it if you want but don’t set it aflame like my friend did; ‘roaches totally deserve that kinda death but not rats!
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