WHAT'S HAPPENIN'

Hey guys!!! TGIF!

Don't got much to say, cos I got much to do elsewhere... I'm jus' really enjoying my evening and I thought I'd share one of my very old best songs with y'all! My dad almost killed my bro and I for watching this video one time like that, we were  really YOUNG! Lol!

Anyways, I hope most of you can watch it, it's Method Man feat. Busta Rhymes - What's Happenin'! Enjoy!



(Feel free to gist me how your evening is going, I'll be on my BBM! *winks* C'mon!)

ALL PEOPLE GO TO HEAVEN?

Earlier when the news that Kefee had died was spread all over the internet, Tee and I were discussing about it – what killed her etc. – cos me I didn’t even know she was sick or anything like that… I don’t even know anything these days, that’s why Shughar calls me LASTma, I’m like the last person to hear things!

Anyways, preeclampsia? Never e’en heard of that one, so I did a quick search and I learned it’s a pregnancy disorder characterised by hypertension, fluid retention etc; which can lead to eclampsia which in turn is characterised by convulsions and coma during or immediately after pregnancy! Sighs! O ga o. News has it that she did not die of that though, but still... she's gone! :(

In the course of our discussion, Tee and I, we sha said one thing that led to another thing, and she said “everyone go go heaven”, and I responded “BH no go go heaven”. Lol! Ok, it’s not funny; I just blurted it out without thinking. Maybe all the killing and getting ‘em Chibok girls pregnant is getting to me too much. I just don’t see how mass murder and impregnating those poor girls without consent can get anyone into heaven – whether the Xtian or Islamic heaven! Ok, I’ll just shut up now!

RIP, Kefee. I really loved her voice. *sad* Hey wait, did the baby survive? No? *sighs* Oh well… it’s a Friday, y’all have fun and take it easy getting turnt up tonight!

I’mma jus’ chill to this jam tonight and try to rise above the gloom. Love y’all!

THE PERSONAL CHALLENGE

Ever since I started sewing and creating stuff, I’ve become close with a few other people who like to sew too. So when my friend hits me up on Whatsapp the other day that he’s almost done with a new challenge, I’m like “Oh my goodness, trust these people to keep you on your feet even when you need those feet to rest”; ‘cause trust me, when your friend tells you hey I just made this, you like?, you start to feel like you’re the laziest person ever! Like, you could have been doing something instead of watching that stupid soap cos really you already know how the story will end. *hisses* so you get up your ass and get on the machine!
So I lazily reply him, “oh really, let me see it when you’re done”. You can’t imagine my relief when he said it was not a sewing project!

His project, his personal challenge was… *drum roll* *pause for effect* … staying away from porn and masturbation for a month! I know some of you will say, oh c’mon! I’ve gone without for longer than a month! *yinmu* ehn, we have heard! Drum roll for you too.

Now you might be wondering why my friend would disclose something like that to me… well, cos I and my friends can be close like that! Moving on…

Staying away from porn (and all other things that follow) can be quite a challenging thing to do; that’s why I’m always proud of folks who struggle to stop, abstain, burn CDs, Shift+Del their porn videos. So I know 3 people now who have made it their challenge to stop watching porn and I yaaaay them! Even if you’re just abstaining for some time, I’ll still yaaaay you cos that also is a bold step!

So why does this make me happy, and why am I blogging about it? Why, cos I think it’s worth it to cheer on people who have decided to drop really bad habits; cos not only have they taken on a big bold step, they also are courageous! May the good Lord grant the rest of us such courage! Amen.

PS: If y’all wanna start a Porn Anon. forum on my blog, feel free to ask me! Lol. No really, ask me!

*hugs*

Psychic Friday

How you doing, people?!!! TGIF, right?! I'm sure you recognise the picture above? No? It's from Keyshia's Enough Of No Love video (which I totally I'm in love with, btw!)... KeyKey knows just how to mix hood/street with hot/sexy!

Enough of that... so much depression seems to be going around lately! Not good... (and don't ask me how I know cos I'm not about to reveal my secret with tarot cards and psychic ish with you... oops! Hehehe!). Anyways, I found this somewhere and I thought I should share:

Zoom in, and be happy! Have a great Friday, darlings! XO

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Been a minute, my sweet tiny little hearts! How have you been?! Yeah, I know! I missed y'all too! Why I haven't been blogging? Oh my sweets! You have no idea what I've been through these past few days; but I will not bore you with that story now - just know that it's work-related, and I ended up with the flu!

So what mischief have you all been up to? I hear Davido's album launch is coming up and many of you want to kill yourselves getting the tix! Na una wahala be that, seriously! Nah... I don't have anything against Davido; I just don't understand why some people want to kill themselves over getting tickets to be at the launch... yawns


Moving on... I almost got a tattoo some days back. The only reason I didn't get it was cos I kept hearing a lotta voices in my head screaming and painting pictures of the several gruesome ways they'd kill me if I got it (my BFF's and several other family members' inclusive)... and since the world needs me too much, and I'm not ready to die yet, I decided against the tattoo (I don't promise not to get it done in the nearest future tho).

Next please... Ummm.. yeah, I fell in love! With... 'Ile Ijo' video by May D. I just love the dance steps done by Kaffy and her girls.. nice!

NEXT! I hear our young ladies' hearts are breaking cos all the young fine (and not so fine) men have suddenly developed a fetish for marrying white ladies women old enough to be their grandmothers! *sighs* Well, what's to be done?! Young ladies, let's meet in my office for brainstorming! I'm sure together we'll figure out how to charm (not jazz) and collect our young men back! (Even if it means occupying airports to forcefully snatch these young men when they are ready to leave the country with their newly acquired grandmothers, taking them to Bar beach to wash their heads with sponge and soap before returning them to their mothers for a good ass-whooping!). That should work!

So, I gotta get outta here. Got some business to attend to (while the superiors gulp down on their Wild Turkey... shhhhh! don't let them know I told you). Feel free to indulge yourself in a bottle or two of it, I hear it's good.

Happy second-to-last weekend in July! Much love!!! 

Wrong Messages Friday

"How's it going darling?)
I’m not gonna waste your time and I will switch over to the main issue – I’m looking for a real man who is able to satisfy me entirely, you know what I mean, right?;) I’m tired of sissies and men who can’t even take care of themselves. I want to be loved and feel protected
Shortly about me – young, wild and free. You may switch the word ‘young’ on ‘beautiful’ if you’d like). I am a girl with no hang-ups and BDSM is my only bad habit
Anyway if u like girls like me then I chose the right person.
Please reply and I’ll tell you more about myself. Also we can share some (even erotic) pictures.) I’m pretty sure that it will turn out to be an interesting experience talking to each other.
Don’t make a lady wait for too long!) so excited about your answer!
See you soon!"

Hi y'all... another Friday (they seem to be coming faster these days!)
So I decided to tag today 'Wrong Messages Friday'... Why? Well, the above message should answer your question... After settling in at work I figured I should check if I'd gotten any new mail; and apparently, I HAD indeed gotten the above message from a particular unknown Emilia Greenwalt. Here's my reply to Emilia:

Dear Emilia darling.
First, you wasted my precious two minutes if you must know (you should apologise!). Moving on... I am not a real man, Miss Greenwalt; matter of fact, I am not a man in any way - so forget about me satisfying you. If you really wanna be loved and feel protected, sending random mails to strangers will most definitely not help you accomplish that desire.
So, now that I've established that I'm a female like you, I'm sure you wouldn't wanna share erotic pictures with me - except, of course, your other bad habit is being a lesbian. 
Hope this reply excites you as much as you anticipated, but on the other hand, I don't care if it doesn't!


***


*sighs* That was wrong message numero uno! Sometime in the afternoon, I got wrong message numero dos!

"Today is the Last Day in June! Recharge all you can today to get up to N100,000 free credit to call all networks in 9ja"


That one came from our (humming) 0809ja-for-life network. And my reply is short:

Dear 0809ja-for-life,


30 days hath September, April, JUNE and November... 
All the rest hath 31, except for February alone.


Didn't your Class Teacher make you recite that in Elementary School?! Mine did... that's why I know today is not the last day in June!!!


***


And then some douchebag's been sending threats to my phone all day! Tsewwww...

Enjoy your Friday jare, all of you! (and don't forget... no getting stupidly drunk!)

One way of staying married - concentrate all your desires, all mental activities and conceivable good thoughts and activity on your partner. Treat the person as the only one who can satisfy your needs and the only one worthy of your attention

- Tony Marinho (Nene And Other Stories)

BEER-BREATH

Dear Beer-Breath,


I know today is Friday, but that is no excuse to spoil the air I breathe with all that nasty musk! I can totally live without it, trust me!


So as you go out today to party and down all the beer (or any other alcoholic material) you can lay your hands and money on, please wash out your mouth before you physically contact/interact with me.


Yours seriously,
Despiser of Beer-Breath

Haha! I’m sure some girl is thinking the above words but may be too scared to tell/write/text it to her beloved man – probably she doesn’t wanna hurt him or want him to think she’s indirectly telling him he’s got a terrible mouth odour (ugh! *wrinkles nose*)… well, I’m helping such a person out here. It’s my God-given obligation this Friday.

Boys, boys… how are you today? I’m sure majority of you are glad it’s Friday again – another day to get rid of the tie at the end of work, go cool off at some club (although I’m familiar with the fact that what you do at the club is very not near to cooling off), transform into a sponge and imbibe several litres of alcohol. Well, I’m glad fer y’all… except there’s one tiny thing tho that most of you do not put into consideration – I don’t know if it’s cos you don’t care or maybe it’s just cos you’re a little inattentive when it comes to your hygiene. Which one?

Anyways whichever it might be, I’m not about to play ‘Mother’ today and start with the hygiene lessons… nah! BUT one question? Have you ever been close to an unwashed mouth that consumed beer like several hours ago, huh? Yeah? Oh, the stench! I mean, an unwashed mouth is bad enough; an unwashed mouth after beer intake is just crazy!

Now, you don’t expect to get home after clubbing with your mouth reeking like that and still want your girlfriend/wife to ‘do’. Stale beer is next only to vomit as a sexual suppressant. Need I say more?!
So what have you learnt? Never ever breathe on (or [insert whatever you do to your woman after partying and getting drunk here, e.g. 'kiss']) your partner without cleaning your teeth and tongue first.

Have a good Friday!

Print Friday!

I was goin’ through some of my old stuff when I found this drawing a friend of mine made for me like a year ago, I don’t know if he had me in mind when he was drawing that, but who the hell cares! She’s hot! So what does this drawing have to do with today’s blog? Hmm, lemme see… nada! no relations at all.

It’s another Friday, yep! Despite my words of advice 2 Fridays ago, some of you still went and got stupidly drunk and totally embarrassed yourselves, puking and pissing all over the place! What exactly gan-gan is your problem(s)? Don’t you know your limit, or is ‘No Limit’ your Friday night motto?! And don’t tell me you didn’t know you’d consumed so much cos of the Cranberry you mixed with your Hennessey. If sweet innocent Cranberry can still deceive you at this your age, then cover your face in shame!

So in this about-to-end week that we’re in, I’ve seen so much Ankara that I never want to see any more Ankara in my life! Well, at least not until it’s time to pick Ankara for my own wedding (which is, btw, still under probability – the Ankara, not the wedding). It’s like a lotta my friends + cousin suddenly decided to get married this June.

Can I indulge you? No? well, I’m going to anyways, sorry (even tho I’m not):

They are nice, ain’t they? Well, feel free to invite yourselves to ‘em weddings!

(In conclusion) Here’s wishing y’all a lovely Friday evening… Boys, if she starts to pull a Dita Von Teese in the club, run! I know they say flaunt it if you’ve got it; but if you got an infection detector, you’d probably not want to tap that ass. Girls … well, if he starts to strip in the club… do I need to tell you what to do?! No? Thought so!

Bottle. Sip. Bottle. Guzzle.

Another Friday is here... word has it that some people have plans for Vodka, Cognac and some peppered ish. Others have already started with the sipping, leaving the guzzling for later in the day. Some don't have plans yet while others, well.. others are still working so hard forgetting today's Friday... quit already! and start with an early weekend now (or in the next 2 hours, depending on when you read this). A particular individual jus' asked if I had plans myself... oh I do, I sure do! Wanna know? 2 words - bed, fling.

Anyways, this blog isn't about my plans, it's about you. Piece of advice before you go on the BSBG trip (check blog title for meaning of that) - no, make that pieces of advice - from the goodness and kindness of my heart (yeah, I can be all that), I have a few points I wanna make (just to help you o) before you go on your drinking spree tonight (not that I'm encouraging any of you to drink)...

Fine Clothes & Shoes --- Check

The Car --- Check

The Club --- Decided, hence Check

The Gang --- Well (if you move in packs), Check

The dough, bar, cheddah, loot --- Check, double

What else? Everything else sha --- Check

1. If you know you wanna get stupidly drunk tonight (or any other night), don't take that girl you've been eyeing (and hoping to seriously get with) for weeks along.

2. If you stupidly took the girl along, don't puke on her or in her presence, excuse yourself before you pour your guts out.

3. If you stupidly puked on her, and she doesn't talk or wanna meet with you ever again cos she's mad, don't act all immature and be stronging face when next you see her cos you think you did nothing wrong by puking on the poor thing.

4. If you stupidly asked for a one-night stand or a thousand one-night stands but she refuses, don't buy her one bottle of Malta Guinness all through 12am-4am just cos she said no. That's not punishment, it just further shows how stupid you are.

5. And finally, if you do stupidly get drunk and somehow get the one-night stand (and maybe more), don't brag about it to your friends. There's no pride in that, do not be deceived.

As for the girls, one point only --- don't go out with a person you're not properly acquainted or friends with (and don't get stupidly drunk too).

*rubs palms together* And with that, I think... I have spoken! Oh yeah, my plans with the bed and fling? Relax y'all, it's just me in bed with a novel titled 'Fling'!

Nota Bene: I know I used a lotta 'stupidly's, don't take it personal amigos! Mwaaah!

Gulliver's Travels

Errr... this blog is not about the fictional Englishman who travelled to Liliput, was bound by the tiny little easy-to-stamp-his-feet-on-and-crush (did I say tiny?) people, etc... Nahhhh! Jonathan Swift has nothing to do with the writing of this blog... I have everything to do with this blog! And the travels are all mine - yeah, that's right!

Some of you know that I finally took the big step days ago, shipped my ass back to Ago-Iwoye and packed the rest of my stuff back to Lagos. Goodbye to Ago (at least for now)! Without further unnecessary story, let's talk about my travels, shall we?

JOURNEY ONE

I decided to take the Oshodi route so I can get to the campus early. The plan was to meet my Supervisor and get done with the project thing. The bus gets fuller on time at Oshodi than any other place else, right? WRONG!!! But that's story for Journey 2. So I got into Oshodi bus from Iyana Ipaja, and this woman sitting in front of me kept urging me to come so she can lap me all the way to Oshodi. O_o huh? Lap me ke! When I kept ignoring her, she switched to a school kid who also wisely ignored her. What was all that about?! I dunno o!

JOURNEY TWO

First Garage - Just one woman inside the bus, sleeping and drooling all over the seat. No way am I gonna get into that bus! Fortunately as I was still thinking of what to do, a coursemate also arrives and we quickly decided to go climb the bridge and go over to the second garage.

Second Garage - *breathing heavily* Why does all Oshodi garages reek of urine?! F**king hard to breathe! A coupla people in the bus, I took my usual beside-the-driver seat. 30 minutes later, still trying not to completely consume the urine-reeking air via breathing, we're still sitting in the bus and it's not full yet! Lesson Learnt - Don't be eager to try new things, sometimes the old routine and old-fashioned way will do just fine!!! In other words, I shoulda f**king gone to Berger!

JOURNEY THREE

This was the Ultimate Search Journey. The quest to find 2 cabs for hire that will transport mine and my roommate's stuff to Lagos at a err... subsidised rate! First town, first garage, no luck with the subsidised rate. Second town, second garage, still no luck. Same town, private transporter - timing was not working for us; dude did not know how bad we wanted to leave Ago Iwoye and move on with our lives. So we gave him the one-digit salute... on to the next one. Same town, another private dude - subsidised rate at last!

THE GREAT JOURNEY

Who left Ago for Lagos 3:15 a.m. ? (Hint: Two girls who want to enjoy a journey devoid of a thousand stops by the 'men in black' and plenty other not-so colourful uniforms the Lagos State Government has come up with for their other agencies that also do nothing specific other than put their men on the roads to stop vehicles and at the end of plenty verbal hassle, collect a bribe. So, my roommate and her cab leaves at 3:15 a.m., mine leaves at 4:20a.m. Yes, I was scared shitless. I mean, anything could happen - it's a lot of bushes jungle between there and Lagos. But yeah, Dieu merci, even tho I didn't meet any Liliputians neither did I get ship/buswrecked (thank God!), one thing I did get was ... home! Safe and sound! *wide grin*

***
RIP to Linda - a friend and coursemate, who passed on last week :'(

THE Friday, the 13th birthday...

Oh yes! Friday the 13th was nothing like a horror flick for me; on the contrary it rocked! It was so much fun... It was the RKween's mother's birthday! Yay!

I'm just gonna tell the story in pictures. Here we go:

The Celebrant (My Mother)

The Cake (it was so yum!)

The Salad (in the making)

My hands were on fire for the rest of the day for chopping these:

Du Riz

After serving guests, running errands and finally finding time to take a wash... the Rebelkween herself! Yes, emi noni!

By 8pm, most of the guests were gone... by 10pm, I was so tired crawling to bed woulda been the hugest task ever so I fell asleep right on my favourite couch; and it was indeed a happy birthday for Mama!

| the long HOL

They say it’s 4 days of weekend… well, not quite! Tola and V were at work yesterday, Jo is gonna be at work tomorrow, and I’m sure Aishida has been and will be at work on Monday too. So yeah, it’s the holidays except y’all still have to be at work. Too bad! Y’all have such horrible bosses…

Anyways, Good Friday was good the most boring day of my life! I don’t think I have ever been bored like that! I finally finished that novel about that stupid girl Jess who is confused about what she wants in life that eventually she gets nothing! I mean, yeah she finally gets to hook up with Dan, but who says she’s not eventually gonna dump him the same way she dumped Alex cos she wanted more! More chemistry, more commitment, more knowledge of his past, more knowledge about who and where he’s gonna hang after work, more insight about his work even though she doesn’t understand shit about hers not to talk of Alex’s (he’s a lawyer and she’s just too dumb to understand his job!), oh and yeah, more knowledge about why her best friend Lou had to be head over heels for Cassanova Andy, the same guy she already has built a family with in her head even though she’s dating sweet Alex! Stupid Hoe! Lesson to y’all out there wanting unreasonable more and more, you’re dumb and you’re gonna end up miserable!

Moving on… I had rice and chicken in the morning and felt guilty for the rest of the day! Who said ‘no meat on Good Friday’ again? It should be no ‘human meat on Good Friday’, considering Jesus was human, not chicken or cow or goat, so I don’t see why I can’t consume beef or chicken… just made me feel guilty for nothing! The likes of Clifford Orji should feel guilty on Good Friday, not me! I should sue!

Anyways, so most of the time I was in serious pain… (pain I don’t intend to tell you how it came about), and I got the idea that dancing vigorously would change things for the better, maybe strengthen the muscles in certain places and all? Well, I got on to it, had songs like Bad To The Bone (Brick and Lace), Lose Control (Missy ft. Ciara), Bad Boys (Alexandra Burke ft. Flo Rida), and Lose My Breath (Destiny’s Child) lined up… yeah I sweated and I think it worked cos I slept sounder than 2 days ago, although I went to bed trying to give a definition to Missy’s “do my thing, motherfucker!” What was she talking about?! *innocent look*

So it’s Saturday again, no power, about to kneel and pray boredom doesn’t drive me crazy today… about… OMG! Up Nepa! God sure answers prayers we haven’t even prayed! *jumping for joy*

Before the week wraps up, I’m giving a shout out to my very good padis whose birthdays came up during the week, and even on the same day – the shawty, Nikky; and the dude V, himself! I no go gree next year o, y’all have to throw a party together, I can be your events planner. I won’t charge too much, kwoss my hurrtt!

Enjoy your Easter. xoxox

UPDATE!!!

How have you all been enjoying this thing going on with PHCN and the whole nation? I know a lot of us have cursed and cussed, and plenty are tired of cussing already. I’m not tired tho! Stored and refrigerated foods are spoiling, no water, rashes on skin, the heat is making people fall ill… tell me why I should get tired of cussing again? Please!

Anyways, been long I been up in here, some of you’ve been wondering what and where I’ve been hiding. Well, main hoo na! :D

In the next few paragraphs, lemme me kindly indulge you in what have been up to lately. First, I got to defend my final project! Yay! I’m happy for me! Then I got my ass back to Lagos and I’ve been bored ever since!

On a particular boring afternoon, I decided to go say hello to my neighbour (although the real reason for going there was to charge my phone). There I met a guy, tall, fair in complexion, good-looking and e’erythang! I said ‘hello’ but he didn’t respond… I was like yeah, whatever. I settled down to a movie, and my neighbour came. We got gisting and all and he was talking about the dude that didn’t answer when I said hello, how he was a genius, came out with a First Class in Computer Science… I was like dude, how can you talk about the guy like he isn’t here, and to make matters worse he didn’t even pay us any attention. Pride, you would say, right? Well, that’s what I said too until my neighbour told me the guy couldn’t hear a thing! What do you mean he can’t hear a thing?! Turns out the guy is deaf! Awww… e yah! I felt sorry for him; but hey, a lotta people are born deaf, right?! Exactly! I was really sorry for him cos he wasn’t born deaf, he became deaf after his NYSC programme in a Northern state. According to what I was told, the northern wind was so bad it destroyed his hearing ability! That totally brought tears to my eyes! Only in Nigeria will you go to serve your motherland and you come back with a hazard totally ignored and uncared for by the government! No compensation, no pay for damages, nothing! I really really felt sorry for the guy. Now all he depends on is lip-reading and texting. Poor him!

Let’s move away from the sad story… another boring afternoon, I was at my friend’s dry-cleaning place and these two guys walk in.

First Guy: Oyinbo, how are you?

Me: *raises eyebrow* nodded that I was fine

Second Guy: Hey do you stay around here, cos I’ve never seen you before.

Me: Well, I’ve never seen you before too.

Second Guy: What are you studying? (pointing to my laptop)

Me: What?

Second Guy: What are you studying in school?

Me: Oh, nothing for now I just graduated.

Second Guy: Oh, you mean school is not in session?

Me: I mean I just graduated

Second Guy: From school?

Me: *whispering* No, from church!

And that’s all folks! I’m back to my bored state, maybe I’ll go to my friend’s again and see if there are more guys who wants to know if it’s school I graduated from or somewhere else!

Oh btw, TGIF! The Beat Bar Crawl is going down tonight... Y'all going should... enjoy!

a Friday on a February

Today, so far, has been one boring Friday - yep! It doesn't even feel like a Friday, it feels like a Saturday, a totally uneventful Saturday.

I doubt that I have wished y'all a happy new February? Well, it's just the 3rd day so I guess it's not too late... Happy new, 29-days February; it's a leap year, so take that leap of faith and move forward; outta that bad relationship, outta that bad mood, outta your subsidized, depressed mood (yeah, some of us are still in that!), out of that unfriendly friendship, out of whatever is holding you back from being happy! Amen!

Back to today being boring! So there might be ways to change that, let's see... I got invited to be at Hush tonight; I haven't clubbed in years! I'm not sure I will tonight either. I've got over a hundred movies on Agnes; I've got to study, yea I've got to study! How did I forget that?! Congrats to all of us that's been waiting on ASUU and the FG to end their shit, many of us are moving our asses back to school starting next week; I got 2 papers left before I hit the big G! But studying does not help boredom, does it? Nah... that one is ruled out!

Meanwhile, some mysterious person's been texting me since last night... what am I going to do with all these stalkers sef?! Tseeew.

Without a clue still as how to kill this boredom, I say TGIF! - Thank God it's February; thank God it's Friday... it's a double-blessing day, people! You've still got a few hours more to maximise and squeeze the fun out of it! Enjoy...

ELEVEN… eleven… 11

They say dates like this happen once in a 100 years, na true? Too lazy to calculate, abeg. So some say it’s a day that carries a lot of spiritual things, some say it’s just an ordinary day. Me? I was expecting something extraordinary to happen, like maybe a star falling from the skies in the daytime!

Anyways, I didn’t sit at home and wait for something extraordinary to happen. I went about my day… had a lot of errands that day, and a lot of places to go; and one of those places was my folks’.
So I got to my folks’, been a while we hooked up, it was like a reunion. No joy on earth can be compared with that of seeing the faces of your beloved ones again, believe it!

Hours later, I was ready to go home… That was my 11.11.11. And guess what? The stars did fall in the daytime… in the eyes of my brothers. Their eyes shone when they saw me and that was extraordinary enough for me!

4 THINGS... on a Friday!

So I promised y’all a TGIF blog, well… here it is! I don’t know what to write about really… I was hoping my day would be eventful, but nothing ‘bloggable’ has happened yet… so I’ll just do this thing someone tagged me in:

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. PA to a Lawyer (if you can call it that. I typed ‘sotay’, my fingers wan peel!)
2. CyberCafe Attendant
3. Script-Writing
4. Err… and my Mom pays me to pay attention in school (hehe!)

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. Psychologist/Shrink/Counsellor (I might actually get there, I see the signs…)
2. Ballet dancer (does that even count as a job?)
3. PA to Weezy F. Baby
4. Profiler for the FBI

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Basic Instincts I&II
2. Double Wedding (just to drool at O-T Fagbenle over and over)
3. Seducing Mr. Perfect
4. Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Lagos
2. Ijebu-Igbo
3. …
4. … (why did they insist on four this and four that, by the way!)

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. 24
2. Brothers & Sisters
3. Teju Babyface Show (what’s happening with that, anyways?)
4. Naruto (this is supposed to be on No. 1 buh I’m too lazy to move it)

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. Ado-Ekiti
2. Benin
3. Ibadan
4. Greece (in my dreams)

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. Blogger (to do my blog rounds)
2. Facebook, most def
3. The Frisky
4. Google (why don’t I see Google as a website anymore?)

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Coleslaw with plenty of Mayonnaise
2. Fufu with self-made Efo Riro with plenty ponmo
3. Does Beef Burger/Shawarma count?
4. Indomie with diced pepper, and sardines

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Octopus, Snails
2. Fried, broiled, boiled, steamed, bbq’d, roasted human beings (I would never!)
3. Beans (esp. with Plaintain, it disgusts me)
4. Amala (even if it’s with the most delicious soup on earth)

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Goodtime’s beef burger or hotdog
2. Iya Joe’s Rice with the huge huge ponmo
3. Spaghetti cooked by my brother
4. Chivita’s Power of 5

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. My spring bed
2. Novels
3. Clothes
4. My Yao Ming, Steve Nash & co. wallpaper (yes Abbie, I still have that wallpaper!)

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. A really huge mirror
2. More closet space
3. A Persian carpet
4. More Clothes

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. A bra
2. Leggings
3. Black nail polish
4. Mascara

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. On a beach (the weather is unbearably hot!)
2. With “him”
3. Sweet Sensations, Ogba
4. Anywhere that I don’t have to put on too many clothing

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. In Badly Drawn Dobs' head (somebody’s got to figure out how that guy thinks)
2. Greece
3. With O-T Fagbenle
4. Konoha; Naruto’s Konoha

FIVE PEOPLE YOU'D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. God
2. Myself
3. My BFF
4. Emily Blunt
5. Teju Babyface

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. Does cussing in my mind serve as thinking cos that’s what I’m doing, cussing PHCN
2. To go visit my friend or not
3. To call a particular strong-headed person or not
4. What to eat!

FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE THINGS
1. Red Wine
2. Phones
3. Strong, masculine legs and arms
4. Sleeping in the dark

FOUR THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I love burials than weddings
2. Sarcastic and blunt
3. I wear a fake smile half the time
4. I like holding something to my chest; my handbag, my pillow, but never a teddy bear, na ahn!


Finally! It’s over! Phew!

It’s still the hot Friday… but thank God I have that bottle of ‘Carlo Rossi’ cooling just for me in the fridge (thanks to my Uncle!). TGIF peeps, get wild tonight! I know I will… *wink*

Cloudy Friday Already!

30th September... the last day of the first of the 'ber' months is here and it's a Friday, yay! As usual I'm going to have fun spending this lovely Friday... all by myself. Weird? It isn’t o. Why do people find it weird that I love spending more than half of my time alone? I enjoy my company (& Agnes’) so much more than when I’m with people… if that’s weird, then *throws hands in the air* guilty as charged!

Y’all remember Josef? My lawyer friend? Yeah? We got into an argument yesterday… can’t remember the root of the argument sef (forgive my short memory)… the point anyways was that, if all my friends left me and somehow I couldn’t get on the internet and all my family members (at least those who matter!) are somewhere far away… how would I survive?! Simple, I will survive noni! Not that I don’t place a lot of importance on friendships, I do… but it just is not hard for me to be all by myself, indoors! I remember when my cousin-cum-ex-roommate shipped her fine ass to Chicago, I was in that room alone for 3 months (can’t believe I’ve stayed in school for that long a period!)… it was a routine of going to class and heading straight back home. Did I get bored?! Hell no! (Not that I didn’t miss your crazy ass, Bims, I did and still do…) No visiting, no visitors! Yup, I can be a recluse like that!

So Josef and I ended the argument somehow, I won tho *grins*. LMAO! I just increased the volume of the TV, and this musical video is on… “girl, I love you so, you be like Chocomilo”… hahaha! You go fear lyrics! Chocomilo ko, baba dudu ni! Tsew. Girls have suffered sef… all these pick-up lines that our poor dear ears have to endure virtually everyday, it’s a wonder how some girls haven’t committed suicide sef! Serious o! You’ll hear some pick-up lines like this, you go look yourself from up to down; especially in this Boko Haram era that we’re in now, one guy will come and tell you “Your father must be a terrorist cos you’re the bomb” Al’akoba! Because of one boy’s stupid pick-up line now, they’ll arrest one girl’s father… smh!

Back to the fact that it’s Friday… it’s looking like tis gonna rain again; I see plenty Friday night plans getting ruined *evil grin*. Ntoi! Learn to sit at home like me!

*** Yesterday, friend of mine discovered I can type fast on phone… and he made me type “I’m sexy and I know it” … so that got me inspired today, I’m starting my Friday almost-evening with LMFAO’s Sexy And I Know It… (cos I am, and I’m aware!)


LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

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*kiss kiss*