I Hate My Girl Brain

I stole this from:
Friday Faves: I Hate My Girl Brain : College Candy

I just had to! I likey... for those that can't click and get redirected, here's the full story:


I woke up this morning in a mood. I had a fight with my Ish last night. (You know, the guy in your life who isn’t quite your boyfriend, but is more than the guy you’re dating; he’s boyfriend-ish). It wasn’t even really a fight. It was me being frustrated at him for various reasons, expressing that frustration, and him responding in an even more frustrating, nonchalant way. So I went to bed mad, and, not surprisingly, I woke up mad.

But I don’t blame my Ish. At least that small part of me that is actually rational doesn’t. I blame my anger on my girl brain, the (overwhelmingly large) part of my brain that I hate. I know that everybody knows what I’m talking about because, face it, you have a girl brain, too. And you probably hate it for the same reasons I do.

1. My stupid girl brain makes me overanalyze everything.

What I say: “Ish, I am mad because you aren’t affectionate and that makes me think you don’t like me.”

What Ish says: “I do like you. I’m just not an exceptionally affectionate person like you are.”

What my ears hear: “I do like you. I’m just not an exceptionally affectionate person like you are.”

What my girl brain hears: “You’re right. I don’t like you. Actually, the thought of hugging or kissing you makes me want to throw up and run away.”

This happens in all sorts of situations, not just with Ish. It happens with friends, roommates, and professors. I overanalyze everyday sentences and make them into things they are not. Usually into something passive aggressive meant to slight me in some horrible way. My logical brain knows this is not the truth, but my girl brain makes it so.

2. My stupid girl brain makes ridiculous demands.

What my girl brain says: “I WANT CHOCOLATE!!!”

What I say: “Girl brain, it’s 7:30am. No chocolate.”

What my girl brain says: “YOU WILL GET ME CHOCOLATE NOW OR I WILL RELEASE A FLOOD OF HORMONES SO HORRIFIC YOU WILL UNCONTROLLABLY SOB FROM NOW UNTIL NEXT WEEK!”

What I say: “You win, girl brain. You win.”

3. My stupid girl brain makes me sob uncontrollably.

What I say: “Today is a good day for laundry. I should also reorganize my dresser drawers.”
[I then proceed to remove and re-fold everything in my dresser, when girl brain interrupts my progress.]

What my girl brain says: “Why can’t you fold this sweater??? Your lack of legitimate motor skills is really, really sad. Not sad in the pathetic way, but sad in the tears and other fluids spewing from your face kinda way.”

Yes, every few weeks I cry uncontrollably about nothing. Last week I really did cry all day because I couldn’t fold a sweater properly. Then I got an eyelash in my eye. That really pushed me over the edge.

4. My stupid girl brain is mean and critical.

What I say: “These jeans fit perfectly. And they’d look so cute with my new riding boots!”

What my girl brain says: “What is with that little strip of fat poking out of the top? And look at your thighs! Maybe these would look better on you if you stopped eating chocolate at 7:30 in the morning.”

5. My stupid girl brain is masochistic.

What I say: “No, you’re not going to look at the ex’s new girlfriend’s photos on Facebook. You’ve got better things to do with your time. Plus, you’ve got someone new so you don’t care.”

What my girl brain says: “YOU WILL LOOK AT THOSE PHOTOS RIGHT NOW. THEN YOU WILL LOOK AT ALL OF HER FRIENDS’ PHOTOS. Then you will ask your friends to look at them and tell you that you are prettier. And happier. And so much better off without him.”

What I say (while eating a bag of Fritos in bed): I HATE YOU, GIRL BRAIN.

—

I love being a girl (especially because I can use makeup to cover up the puffy, post-sob fest dark circles under my eyes), but sometimes this girl brain thing is just too much. I’m irrational, I’m angry, I’m emotional…and hard as I try, there’s nothing I can do to change it. Much like boobs and the ability to have children, it sorta comes with the territory. And that just makes my girl brain rage even more.

Sigh. Grrr. Sob.

Underneath Your Clothe...

Days ago, I put up the chorus of ‘Underneath your Clothe’ as my FB status update and I don’t know what some people were thinking o! Bad, dirty-minded human beings, they want to make me bad come hell or high water! No be by force o, ah!

So I decided to show y’all what I had in mind when I was singing that song out loud:

…yes! I was thinking that and just that! It was just this well-toned, well-built, I-wanna-drink-it-up, sexy stomach that I was picturing in my head, just it! (who am I trying to convince, sef? *smh*)
Anyways, the song says it’s what I deserve for being such a good girl... so I’m thinking if this includes one of the things I get for being such a good girl, mehn! I wanna be a good girl for life!

FYI, I didn’t google that image… but I’m not gonna tell whose it is, so don’t ask! And here’s the song for those who care to listen and picture something nice in their head (just don’t picture my own image o, na there fight go start o, eh ehn!)

	Shakira - Underneath Your Clothes .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Awesome God!!!

It's a great Sunday o... and what other way to start than go Metal! Gospel Metal sha... (I'm being a good girl on a Sunday morning).

I particularly love this one, starts mild and then... head-bangingish; cos my God is an awesome God! Oh yes Lord!!!



Oh btw, it's Awesome God by Pergamum!

Jaginma!

Since I can't sleep, I'm starting my Sunday early.... yessss Lord!!!

For all His goodness and favour; steadfast love, unceasing care and unending mercy, I just have to praise Him (even if it means annoying the neighbours, hehehe). And this is the song that's on repeat:



B s/out to my boy Effizee, you done did good with this one!

PARTY FOOD!!!

Another Saturday; I see smiles on people's faces this cool cold evening! I guess the weddings they all attended went great or at least the food was plenty and palatable... emphasis on PLENTY!

I remember my Mushin days where you find that most people at the party weren't invited, you know, the popular 'mo gbo, mo branch' kinda people. But seriously, who wouldn't 'gbo' and branch when there are foods like this:

... and like this:

ESPECIALLY this:

AND this:

We certainly cannot blame the 'mo gbo, mo branch' people, jor... these party foods are hard to resist!!!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and make sure to consume Andrews Liver Salts when the rewards of your gluttony starts to manifest... hahaha!!!

TOP 8 reasons why I love F!

Almost everyday we come across articles on Top 10 this, Top 5 that... Today, I've seen very weird and almost BS Top somethings; imagine Top Ten reasons why you should love your cat (oh puh-lease! I don't need a top ten whatever to love my cat, I love my cat already, I mean that's why I have it!); Top 5 ways on how to fail an interview (umm.. excuse me? why would I wanna know that? I think I'd rather be interested in Top 5 ways on how NOT to fail an interview, dumbass!); Top 30 unapproved names for a woman's bush (ehn! after I know nko? what will I do with them? they are 'unapproved' remember?)

So I want to do copy copy; here's my BS Top 8 for the week:

TOP 8 Reasons why I love the letter F (hehehe!)

1. Obviously cos it's the first letter in my name, duh!

2. Cos it's the first letter in 'Facebook' (I'm sure that don't need no further explanation).

3. Cos I'm in love with all the letters of the alphabet, anyways (just 'cause).

4. Cos it's the first word in 'fight' (I love Wrestling, thanks to sticking to PJOM's side when I was growing up).

5. The good things in life start with the letter F; fish and chips, friends, free meals, free midnight calls, final year (to grad), flings, and so on...

Did I say 8? I meant to write 5!

Lullaby...

Talk of bedtime stories, I don't think no one ever read one to me... but talk of bedtime songs..? now, that's what I'm talking about.

I got a coupla songs that I like to fall asleep to, depending on the mood. And now it's 11:21pm; I'm ready to fall asleep cos... someone left me stranded in between a conversation...

So tonight it's me falling asleep with Ace of Base. I don't have a mood for this one... it's the perfect lullaby... *yawns*

	Ace Of Base - Everytime It Rains .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Water!

Sometimes drinking water totally grosses me out... I think it started after I saw this:

Ugh, right?!? I KNOW!

Heart to Heart!

Yesterday, I had a heart to heart with someone who isn't even a friend (yet). Funny thing is I felt like totally light-hearted after the whole pouring-out, ranting and raving session! You should try it sometime...

My BFF used to have a slogan "No Bitchassness". But amongst girlfriends today there is a lot of bitchassness going on... so what happens when some fake ass girlfriend gives you some bitchassness? You f*@king punch her in the face ignore her ass and show her who's the bigger girl! Well... I found out that, that isn't exactly fulfilling; the punching in the face would be better (if you can manage it). *sighs*

But seriously, what's with the bitchassness (my fave word for the week!) between girls that are supposed to be friends; it's not like guys give themselves "Dudeassness" (or something)! So i strengthened and waved my flag higher today... #operationbefriendswithguysmore! Bite me!

So B, you don't need the bitchassness (even though you both have the letter B in common! Lmao!)

Big s/out to my BFF, love ya gurl... none like you!

Day 2!

It’s been 2 days now since ‘they’ have considered that total blackout is the ish! How long will this last, I’m wondering… cos not being able to spend quality time with Agnes is what is pissing me off… oh, umm… Agnes is my dearly beloved, dudu maa du, orekelewa PC, by the way!

Back to the point! 2 days o! PHCN can wicked sha!!! Tsew. I just hope this madness stops today… Or else! I have plans for the nearest PHCN office. Don’t ask me what… I haven’t figured it out yet…

There’s something I wanna talk about… ever notice how some folks come to greet a sick person with the aim of eating or consuming whatever other folks brought for the sick one? I know cos I’m in one of such scenarios now. Hold that thought… I’m not the ‘consumer’ and I’m not the sick; just the observer.

So this woman is all over the place… “What can I eat? What do you have in the house? I want juice? I want jollof rice!” Na wa oo! No be you suppose bring all these things come for person wey sick nii? Na your mate bring peppersoup o. Poor poor sick person had to disturb her maid to get Jollof rice from ‘Iya Luku’ for her and Fanta! The woman reject the Fanta o! Insisted on juice… but no juice for her (in my mind, I was like “Ntoi! Ole!” *evil laughter*). But seriously, it’s not decent! Abi? If I’m in the sick person’s shoes, and you come visiting with the sole aim of eating my food (or Iya Luku’s)… choi! na that hunger go finish you o, cos me I no nice at all!

I’m still warning PHCN sha, cos that plan I have for their nearest office is beginning to materialise in my head, and it includes having red lingerie under a long coat *wink*

(Kai! This woman just asked for fruits ni sha! Ebinna!)

Monday Mornings::

Hello beautiful people! Welcome to another Monday morning… where here in Lagos, it’s all about traffic, traffic, noisy people in the buses and more traffic!

So my friend is telling me about how he hates Monday mornings; Monday mornings – Frantic Mornings! Me, I hate Monday mornings cos they are rude! Yulz ke! Monday mornings are a rude awakening, reminding you that life is not all about the weekends!
Now, who doesn’t love the weekend!

Anyways, we shall all survive (even if it means holding on to a tiny shred of sanity) to see beautiful Thursday again… so we can smell the coming in of the weekend!

Big s/out to Vernalsage!!! Don’t worry, V… you’ve just got about 14 hours for this Monday to be over! *wink wink*

BBlozom mi owon...

Whenever there’s one moment of boredom in church, I run to the back of my sermon notebook and start drawing a butterfly. See below:

Na wa o! I need a psychologist! Why is it that it’s only butterflies that I draw? Anybody got any ideas? And then I sign ‘bblozom’ at the bottom of the drawing… O_o … Abi it’s my alter ego… that must be it! Guys, lemme introduce you to my alter ego (that is yet to surface)…bblozom. Abeg don’t ask me what bblozom means jare. What matters at this point is that I’m tryin to connect with her, so here goes my message to my dearly beloved alter ego:

Dear Bblozom,
Stop hiding inside of me. Please come out and let’s do great things together… let’s stop doodling butterflies on the back of my sermon notebook… Tiny little kisses from the one you’re living inside of!

That should work, right?

My dream W dress!

Today being Saturday, everyone is gone to one wedding or the other… *sighs* Home alone (my sleeping brother does not count as company)… So I was thinking some day, some people would be at my wedding too, yeah? And that would be some really glorious day (or something!)…

Anyways sha, I was thinking of what I’d love to wear for my very own wedding… I don’t like a lot of cloth, and I no sabi waka, so I can’t be stumbling and steppin’ on the long wedding gown every now and then; I go just frustrate (might cancel the wedding outta annoyance with the dress sef!). Lol…

So I started ‘googling’ my dream wedding dress and this is what I came up with:

Perfecto! Init?

Me Vs. Beyonce

3:30 AM

Sleep abandoned this poor princess… so I got my ears pluggt again. Beyonce’s I’d Rather Go Blind, one of the songs she did in ‘Cadillac Records’, is on…

My beef this early morning is with these words of Queen B:

“I would rather, I would rather go blind boy than to see you walk away from me now… So you see I love you so much that I don't wanna watch you leave me baby most of all…”

Why would I wanna go blind instead of watching the guy walk away from me?! Ko joo mehn! I would like to see with my korokoro eyes as the dude is walking away so that if and when (usually WHEN) he tries to come back, I will remember how he turned his back and walked away! With the same willpower that he used to walk away, I will use it to turn him down #shikena!

*yawns* right now tho, I think I’d rather fall asleep…

	Beyoncé - www.Mp4.Ma .:::. Id Rather Go .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

hEaDacHe

Dear dear headache
This is the wrongest day
For you to come and rain
On my colourful parade;

Head is ticking
Like there’s a time-bomb in it
Scalp feels like it gonna peel
And take to its heels;

Please, just stop grabbing my head
Stop being such a pest
Attacking this part that stands on my neck
Don’t make me seek pain-relief, mehn!!!

On that issue of BATTERING THE WIFE noni…

Once upon a time…. err, scratch that…

Even with my ears plugged with Chop Suey’s ‘System of a Down’ almost causing me a headache, I could still hear the bang bang sound. In my mind, I was like ‘way to go! Someone’s fancying some hyper music like me too tonight’! *checks the time* 00:00! What tha?! That’s not cool… listening to such loud music this late… I was ready to go knock on that nigga’s door! *removes headphones* err… it’s no loud music, but is sure is loud banging… it’s banging someone against the wall and floor! That nigga beating up his wife… again!

*goes with my friend and knocks on their door* *nigga opens door and throws wife out* What I saw moved me to tears… half of her face was swollen and bruised! Hair disheveled; skirt torn… what kinda life is that?!! Then she starts trying to push the door back open, screaming she wants to carry her baby (that poor kid isn’t even a year old yet)… *sighs* Then the door opens a little and she puts one arm through… nigga starts to close the door against her arm, tryna break it! Oh snap! That’s where I started to scream, “would you move yourself outta the way and not let this dude injure or kill you for your baby?!” Cos if she dies or gets handicapped, dude gonna marry another and another and another..!

… eventually wonderful husband comes out after plenty pleading by other neighbours for him to open the door and bring the baby out. He meets me first, close to the door (“one day they go just break your head, I no know which one be your own!”, that’s what you’re saying, right? – my exact thoughts… lol). Anyways, at that point, I had to move back, not from fear… but mehn! that dude reeks of alc! Nigga drunk!!! Nigga got high on Gin, I done see the bottle lying on the floor of their room…

So I’m like “Baba Lagbaja… ah ahn! You’re a man now, things don’t have to be like this… bla bla bla” I’m sure dude wasn’t even listening, I doubt if he could even see me sef. When the guy go open him mouth talk, he said it was self-defense! Lmfao!!! What self-defense? Self-defense from what, abi who?! This woman wey you almost don destroy her career?! Ok… wetin she do? I thought the dude would say she carried a gun or knife, or omorogun or some… his word “she started holding my shirt and asking if it’s true I have girlfriends outside”… hahaha! And that made you batter her life like she was some doughnut in the making!

Then I pulled him to the side… dude, (and this is also for you guys out there beating your girl/wife like she was born to be beat) things don’t have to be like this… I know us girls can be really annoying sometimes, but it doesn’t have to result to beating… whatever anger you have can be channelled some other way… I mean what happened to ‘aggressive sex’ (I’m quoting someone o) and talking things over after roof-raising climax! And I told him if it has come to that point where y’all don’t got love for each other no more, find a way to dissolve things. Then the guy started lecturing me… if my husband had a girlfriend, will holding his shirt do any good? In my mind, I’m thinking why won’t she hold your shirt, after you’ve slept with two of her friends (which btw, resulted in a scandal that made them leave their former apartment)… you wan make the girl craze ni?!

Anyways, me I really pity those that get beat by their men! It’s so not nice. Word – if your boyfriend has started beating you from now, slap your ‘bata’ together and run like your life depends on it … oh wait a moment… it actually does! And to you
whose man didn’t show his battering skills until marriage! Ha! God be with you, sister!

rAnDomm...

Na wa o… pekele pekele..! What or who is a role model? Simple question, this geh no fit answer! and she won the beauty contest o! Hmmm.. it’s one instant beauty pageant thing on teevee; if I was one of the judges? Her ass is so not winning! Buh she won! *sighs* How come I don’t ever get invited to stuff like that sef? My waka gats increase as from today!!! – new half-of-the-month resolution! Err… but wait o, what or who is a role model? *scratches head* Lol

So today’s been cool so far… my eyes see plenty things; buh the most interesting one was that guy in church. Dude sits behind me with his wife, both of ‘em do ‘anko’, green lace, not bad! Young couple, looking happy! The gist is whenever I looked back, the guy would wink at me! At first, I think say I dey imagine am ni o… then I looked again, same thing *wink wink*… eh! Blood of jisos! Inside shuuushhi! Men, una no dey try at all! Small time now, one woman or girl will come and be shouting on my head, she no go know say na her husband first wink o! So everytime I looked back, he’d wink at me… aren’t you wondering why I was looking back sef?! Hehehe… I was stealing glances at some creature, beautifully and wonderfully made, lovely haircut and beard!!! Gist for another day…

And then I visited two newly weds today… omo! got me thinking, me sef don reach to marry. I want to marry o! Prince charming come and find me… err… I take that back… I don’t want Prince charming (too common); Prince Rebel King, come and friggin’ find me before I change my mind!

Did this Nollywood star just pronounce ‘all’ as ‘hall’? Why we no fit rewind TV sef? Oya, #teamrewindtv, stand up! But I’m so sure that’s what he said sha… And why did they cut this Always advert? I liked the full song, now they cut it.. tseewww… not good to go jor!

Turkey peppersoup beckons… o daaabo!!!

: why LOVE faiLz!

Ehen!!! The church side of me came out today and I feel like sharing some with you guys… buh before that, can I say something? Yeah? I love my Pastor!!!

So this particular Sunday evening, we had our once-in-a-month Couples and Singles’ Seminar… truss na! church full die! Matters of love, soccer, sex always bring people together… me I just sit down for one corner dey observe and meditate… the Pastor was gonna talk about the things that make love fail – WHY LOVE FAILS?! Hmmm… interesting! Me sef go like know o.

Na so my able Pastor climb pulpit. WHAT IS LOVE?, he asks. Love is fondness for someone; a deep affection for someone or something; to love is to take delight in a person; when you love someone, that person makes your heart sweet – that’s why we call them ‘Sweethearts’ (I bet y’all didn’t know that!) You don’t trample on, abuse or toy with something or someone you cherish, and the simplest form of love is likeness.

Which brings us to the koko of the marra! Why do relationships and marriages fail? Why does a thing as wonderful as love fail? What are those things that cause the breakdown or failure of a once love-filled relationship?!

1. Haste/Hurry: Love must suffer long. True love is patient. Being in a hurry ejects love out of one’s heart. So if you’re impatient cos he isn’t able to buy you that Chanel purse yet; or cos she wants to wait till M before spreading the legs… me I don’t know for you o!

2. Envy: Envy is the inability to be happy/rejoice at someone else’s upliftment/promotion. Most partners are in a competition. You’d be amazed at the number of husbands that are envious that their wives are doing better than them! Like my Pastor said, if your wife earns more dough? Follow am spend am! Na una two get am! Shuuoooo!

3. Pride: Pride of the heart (e.g. not being able to apologise) and pride of the eyes (e.g. looking at your partner as inferior, unimportant or with contempt); both punctures and kills love fast! Yes! You’ll hear some men/women saying “I picked you from the gutter… bla… bla… more blah!” And so? Ehn? Gini? That one is no longer news na… You blind when you pick am from the gutter ni? Abi who are you trying to remind? And not being able to say “I’m sorry”? That’s totally not nice. I mean what’s in common “sorry”? *sighs*

4. Rudeness: What we all ignore is that when you’re rude to your partner, he/she seeks comfort and respect from external sources e.g. secretaries that can say ‘Yes Sir’ from now till kingdom come! The worst case of rudeness is that lack of respect in front of family and friends. Haba!

5. Self-centeredness: “Me, Myself and I” does not exist in love. True love entails thinking of the other person more than yourself. (hmmm… I hope someone is reading this!)

6. Anger: --- kills love. Love is not easily provoked. Love does not beat up his beloved. Physical, verbal, emotional, mental abuse are not a part of love. Once all that starts happening… you can like to talk to your legs and waka! And if you get angry easily? Always remember that “anger lies in the bowel of a fool”. I’m sure plenty of us don’t like to be referred to as fools.

7. Evil thoughts: I particularly like this one! I learnt that what you think of your spouse who is far away will most likely happen to him; telepathy thingz!!! If you think your spouse is having sex wherever he/she is, that kinda atmosphere can be created around him/her! So don’t use your evil and nasty thoughts to ‘kobalize’ your spouse!

At the end, things that help love then are patience, kindness, rejoicing and celebrating with your #winning partner, humility, respect, selflessness/sacrifice, endurance/long-suffering and good thinking (remember that car advert? Good thinking, good product! – shey na Toyota sef? I don forget jor.)

… churchy alter ego signing out…

: A GIRL’S ROOM, A GIRL’S LIFE

Ok ladies, get this… I just painted my nails a sweet pink and I feel so fly; guys would pay to kiss my nails now… lolz. So I’m in my room all alone and writing this is the only thing that’s not making me feel the lack of power supply. PHCN can really dull a girl’s day!

I’mma tell you a little about my room… it’s a typical student’s room; my walls are painted blue, like a dull blue; you see girls, once in a while, a girl’s gotta have dull days, (like I’m having right now thanks to PHCN!). Sometimes, we just have to sit down to meditate, think and chew a little on the past, present and how it can affect the future. Those are the times you just need to turn your phones off, plug in your I-Pods into those pretty ears, put on some slow rock and just meditate away. Trust me, a girl’s got to lose herself in the soothing dullness sometimes and think about how she’s gonna make it in life so some guy is not going to tell you in the future “I paid your bride price, I own you”. I do it all the time, ok not all the time; but I guess you get the gist already. Release yourself into the blueness sometimes and reflect on everything happening in your life, and what you want to be.

My floor! My floor is the most exciting part … I’ve got a multi-colored carpet covering it. Girls, we all know how exhilarating a life can be when it’s all multi-colored; when you’ve got the lovely cream, the teasing purple, the whoring red (no offence, but red is … whoring!), the mischievous black, the daunting olive-green, the daring orange, and so on. Multi-colored is just my favourite style, you can be lovely today, tease all the innocent boys tomorrow and they would not even be aware of it (not like any boy’s innocent anyways!), the next weekend you could be your dude’s pretty little mistress putting on that hypnotic, sexy blood-red lingerie, and then you can just be a mischief-maker letting everyone wonder why you’re dressed in all-black… it’s not mourning, it’s just you going goth and mysterious; or you could go olive-green, olive drab or do the camou, be THE official girl, yes, MRS. OFFICER! Lolest. You can get daring, “yeah I’m the brightest thang in this room (with your brightest orange shirt or top) and there aint a damn thing no one can do about it.” Did I mention that partying was part of the multi-colored package! It sure is, but easy on the booze, smooch and the flirting; you can make goo-goo eyes at the dudes but that’s where it’s gotta stop, ok?! I mean, we don’t want beer bottles to become baby bottles in a matter of months now, do we? Guess not!

As much as I love the splash-of-colours lifestyle, I’ve still got my ceiling directly above my floor, and it’s painted white! Anyone ever notice that the size of your ceiling is the size of your floor? Yea? If your ceiling’s not covering it, then it’s not your floor (except you’re outdoors though, and wolves could eat your little red riding hood out there). So white! I know everyone’s thinking of holiness and purity and innocence and stuff; and y’all are kinda right. My white days are those days that I just become this totally dumb, shy and innocent girl … I mean those days I don’t even know the meaning of boys, booze or burger. It’s kinda hard to achieve, but those are the days I go to a party or the club and I don’t move an inch form where I’m seated unless it’s time to go home. I don’t dance, talk to anyone, drink or socialise; I just “give myself brain”. It doesn’t mean I’m unhappy or anything, it’s just crawling back into my shell and watching; and I’ve realized that those times, I notice very small things from facial expressions to body language to others’ emotions et cetera. So you girls might wanna try the white period… it leaves everyone wondering what’s going on with you and while they’re wondering, you’re noticing and learning hidden things. Of course, I cannot forget that this is the period that I also try to contact and make a link with my Maker… it’s totally weird, but I try to mind-talk with God and ask Him for a few favours.

Then of course, there’s the corner that I keep my kitchen things. Girls face it, a guy completely is crazy about a girl that knows how to dress, how to please, how to make him laugh and one that knows how to cook! I’m not talking about throwing things together, boiling and dishing it. I’m talking of knowing how to cut in the appropriate sizes, steam, cook and fry trying not to overdo it and dishing properly, almost making the dish too beautiful to eat. It’s a double plus for every girl; God knows I’m trying to get there myself.

There’s the corner I keep my books; school books, jotters, novels, dictionaries and stationeries. A pretty girl with empty head and bad diction just pisses me off. That’s why the men think we’re useless except for bed affairs. A brilliant chick will turn heads any day, anytime and anywhere plus you’ll be so proud of yourself. Self-esteem boost activated!

Also, there’s the TV, DVD Player and Speakers’ position in the room; a girl’s gotta keep in touch. Be aware of what’s going on in your society, watch the news, and don’t forget the movies, it’s cool to know what movies are bursting the blocks!

Finally there’s my make-up and cosmetics rack. Don’t let the cobwebs redecorate your make-up area for you, don’t wait for a friend to tell you that you look boring or drab before you become friends with your hair and face things; don’t overdo it though, heavy make-up lets everyone notice you, and usually not for the best!

At the end of my room description, I know many of you would think my room is in a chaos of colours; but last I heard, colour-riot was in vogue, haterz! I’m about to host some girlfriends, juicy gist coming your way soon.

Badly Drawn Dobs: STRANGER'S EYES

Badly Drawn Dobs: STRANGER'S EYES: "I'm enthralled by Jemima's eyes Bouquet of erotic fantasies Swirl inside Truth is, When she smiled, sparks flew From her pupils Her ..."

Badly Drawn Dobs: NUBIAN QUEENS

Badly Drawn Dobs: NUBIAN QUEENS: "This is for the off springs Of Imani and Nandi I see magic in every swing Of their beguiling hips The grandeur of the sun Is made mani..."