Two
of my colleagues just gave me the news (well, not at the same time) – they’re
getting married. Oh wow! Rice and stew very plenty, and Ankara too!
As
much as I was excited for them, my radar was all over the place. Why were these
ladies getting married now? I mean, yeah they’re already at very marriageable
ages BUT something just didn’t feel too right; so I sent my human German
shepherds to go sniffing, and yes, they did find something…
There
was nothing mysterious about Lady A’s sudden wedding announcement; Lady B,
however, was pregnant! Hence, rush wedding hour! Not like I’m saying there’s
anything mysterious about pregnancies; as a matter of fact, finding out that
you’re expecting a child WHEN you indeed want one is a wonderful thing.
Lady
B is expecting, but does she want it?
‘It’
doesn’t just mean the child; ‘it’ means everything! The child, the rush
wedding, the about-to-change marital status, the new responsibilities as a
mother and wife, the man! Yes, the man! Not every girl out there is married to
their Mr. Right, because they ‘mistakenly’ got pregnant for Mr. Not-So-Right!
Pregnancy,
pressure, haste – what is pushing you to fix a date? Are you like Lady A who is
shopping for a wedding dress because that time has come and she WANTS to be
married or are you like Lady B who isn’t well enough to go shopping yet because
of the evils of the first trimester?!
“I
do…” You’ve been dreaming of those words; words that once uttered seals the
deal. Life will be such bliss after those words; the pressure, the disrespect
back at home, everything ends! BUT do you know that new things begin after
those words? Are you ready?!
Apply
some brakes to your very sugary thoughts about how your life will be much
better after “I do”; answer this question for me – what exactly are you do-ing?! Agreed, you DO take him/her as
your lawfully wedded husband/wife, to love, respect and honour him/her
throughout your years together… yada yada yada! Yeah, I get it up to that
point, but…
DO
you take him/her when his/her hygiene is intolerable?
DO
you take him/her when he/she has a zero relationship level with God?
DO
you take him/her when his/her health is really (REALLY) poor?
DO
you take him/her when he’s/she’s comparing you with girlfriends/boyfriends
past?
DO
you take him/her when his/her angry looks are throwing daggers right at you
bull’s-eye style?
DO
you take him/her when y’all run into his/her ex and you discover there’s some
unburied ish still going on?
DO
you still take him when, after a quarrel, he refuses to talk to you for days?
What
about when y’all are experiencing a little bit of financial setback, and she
calls you ‘useless’ and ‘good-for-nothing’; DO you still wanna DO ?
What
if you had a miscarriage and he says “look, the only reason we were (translate
to 'I was') getting into this was
‘cause of the pregnancy, let’s call off the wedding”, DO you still..?
If
you still DO after you’ve thought about all these stuff and more, and you think
you can take it all, then congrats! You can, indeed, say you WANT to marry; go
on, I give you the go-ahead to go down on your best knee and ask her to be
yours forever!
Just
remember, once you say I DO, you have given yourself – body and soul – to the
one you love. The die is cast. It will be too late to question whether his
snoring drives you crazy with irritation or whether she’s the most annoying
person during her cycle! Better to be sure before you decide you WANT to marry.
My work here is done! Hope you enjoyed reading it! Y'all have a wonderful weekend...
