ANDREA: Episode 8

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

Andrea tried to get out of the hospital bed; she loathed narrow beds – another reason why hospitals were a no-no for her. The doctor was beside her in an instant, “Madam, please remain in bed. You cannot try to leave, at least not yet. We have to make sure you’re perfectly alright before you…”

“I don’t need you to ascertain that I’m perfectly alright, Dr… whatever!”

Sam and Ed were still standing there, dumbfounded. What on God’s earth was going on?!

Ed found his voice first, “Come now darling, you don’t have to be rude to the doctor. He…”

“Errr… I’m sure I asked this question a few seconds ago, who are you?” Andrea cut in before Ed could finish his statement.

Sam, at that moment, swallowed an imaginary lump in his throat and it felt so real. Real? Is this real? Like for real, Andrea can’t remember them? Oh wait… maybe there’s still hope for him. Andrea appeared not to remember Ed, but just maybe she’ll remember him… time to try his luck. Sam opened his mouth to speak…

“Cupcake, please try to calm down…”

“Do not call me cupcake! I hate cupcakes. And if you don’t get me out of this place right now I’ll go crazy!”

“You hate cupcakes?! Since when?”

“Oh Sam, isn’t that a very stupid question to ask at this point in time!” Ed almost screamed. Sam was about to respond when Ed cut him off, “It’s a rhetoric question, shell brain. There’s no need to answer!”

If there was another plate handy right now, Sam wouldn’t have hesitated to hurl it at Ed and he wouldn't have missed this time; but Ed was the least of his problems. Whatever was
wrong with Andrea and her memory – THAT was the real problem!

Doctor ‘Timi cleared his throat.”Gentlemen and Madam, let’s all try to stay calm,” he turned to Andrea “Ma’am, what can you remember about yourself.”

“My name is Andrea Nnenna Metzger…”

“Metzger?” The doctor, confused, asked.

“Yes, Metzger. It means butcher. I have a German father and an Ibo mother. I am twenty-five years old…”

“Cup… ummm… Andrea, you’re twenty-eight. What on earth is wrong with you?!” Sam could not take it anymore.

“Sir… outside please”

“What! You’re sending me out?”

“Yes. Now. Please.”

As the doctor ushered Sam out while following him, Andrea and Ed could hear their muffled voices.

Ed only heard the word “Selective”, he put that and another word together. But how? Was Andrea seeking escape before now? Did she feel trapped in their marriage? Even if she did, he wouldn’t blame her; Andrea was a strong woman! He was sure it would be a task keeping two women, not to talk of marrying and keeping two men of different personalities under the same roof. Question now is, where would they start from?

Sam and the doctor walked back into the room, interrupting Ed’s thoughts. Sam had a grim look on his face, the doctor didn’t look exactly happy either.

“Ma’am…”

“Doctor, I’m ready to go home now. If you’ll please discharge me and let my two wonderful husbands help me out of here?” Andrea seemed to be in the mood for cutting people short, and why not! Hadn’t her celebratory mood for their first Valentine’s day together with her men been cut short too, literally, considering her cut forehead!

“But… Doctor! I thought you said she had selective amnesia..!” Sam could hardly believe his ears.

Andrea laughed softly. “Don’t blame the doctor, Sammie. That was what I wanted you guys to believe. Or maybe I really had temporary selective amnesia… anyway, my memory is fine now. Eddie, could you please get my painkillers from the doctor? I’ll be in the car.” She walked past the three men, and out of the room.

The doctor raised one of his eyebrows. He was actually in shock at what the lady just blurted about having two husbands. The lady must definitely have a screw loose somewhere.

Sam knew without being told he was in trouble. The only time Andrea calls him “Sammie”, with or without a smile on her face, was when she was really mad at
him. He had that sinking feeling that this was gonna end up real bad but what he couldn't put his finger on was how.

Ed was smiling, that was all he could do, for Andrea was indeed a jolly good wife and he was genuinely enjoying this drama. He knew Andrea extremely enjoyed her little drama too cos Andrea only
called him “Eddie” after she’d orgasmed; and this surely ended in such a climax.

Now to move on with the rest of their lives…

ANDREA: Episode 7

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

Red. One of her fave colours. Ox-blood red, even better.

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“Oh my God! Andrea!”

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*smiles*

“OMG, Andrea!” That was always Berachah’s first line when she was about to complain about something. “OMG, Andrea. You’re such a drag. Don’t you get tired of red, it’s in everything you wear.” Bera was her course mate and also her closest friend back then. She didn’t always find it funny that Andrea was crazy about the colour red. 

But seriously, what was wrong in obsessing over a colour; not detrimental at all!

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“Andrea, please open your eyes…”

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Huh? Open her eyes? But her eyes were wide open… in another place and time, though. Struggling with this rather wide piece of fabric, trying to turn it into a curtain was such a huge task. She was trying to set up and decorate a stage and oh! how she wished she had longer arms. Can’t see past the red curtain. Oh boy, such a drag! (like Bera would say)

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“Look what you’ve done! I hope she wakes and doesn’t remember you anymore! You big buffalo!”

“Shut up, and let’s get her on the couch over there. Senami! Please hurry with the towel and bowl of water.”

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Voices. Argument. Words floating, somewhere above her head. Wait, what was that pounding in her head…

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Theo’s party. The music had been loud and the people were giddy; some with wine, others with excitement; many had come alone but were not going to return alone. At this party, even if you didn’t bring ‘omo’, you can carry ‘omo’ back home with you. It was one of her first jobs, she wasn’t exactly a professional decorator yet but she had managed to transform Theo’s large living room into a party space. It was too late before she realised that the mixed fruit punch had been generously laced with hemp. She’d had one too many cups, and now her head was pounding. She walked to the DJ to ask if he could turn down the volume of the music a lil bit. “Turn down the volume…”, she was saying.

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“She’s saying something”, that was Sam. “Turn down the volume?” Confused, he looked at Ed and back at Andrea. “Cupcake, there’s nothing loud here, what are you talking about?”

“That must be the effect of your flying plate. Must feel like a disco club in her head right now!” Ed said, scowling at Sam.

“I think we should get her to a hospital.” They both looked back half-surprised. They’d forgotten Senami was standing, still holding the bowl now filled with bloody water. Amongst the three of them, they had managed to clean out the wound on Andrea’s forehead. Looked like she might be needing a few stitches though.

“I agree. Senami, please help Sam get her outside, I’ll start the car.” Ed went to grab his car keys and dashed out of the house, shouting for Dogo to open the gate.

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How she hated hospitals! The atmosphere, the smell… everytime she’d been summoned to a hospital, it was for bad news’ sake! First, she’d gotten a phone call, Bera had died at childbirth, she’d lost her sister from another mother – it was an immense loss. Then her own mother had died too, years later… she didn’t even like to think about that. Finally on the list of dead people (so far), and more recently – if 3 years ago could be considered ‘recent’, her father had joined her mother. Orphan, and with a task to carry out without much of a choice, she’d had to marry. If a girl was to marry two husbands, then she had the right to carefully choose, which was what she did. Sam and Ed. Two men that had nothing in common. Who wants similar men under the same roof, anyway! Where is the surprise and excitement in that! No regrets, for the choices she’d had to make. Even if it resulted in a deep gash on her forehead.

She was ready to open her eyes… but, something she’d heard Ed say earlier put an idea in her head.

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“Hey look, she’s opening her eyes.”

“Oh finally, thank God.”

“Andrea? Baby, you ok..? Sweetie, we’re so sorry…”

Andrea raised her hand to her head… “ssshhhh, not so loud, gentlemen! The point is to ease the pain in her head, not compound it, I’m sure there’s enough time to apologise later.” That was the doctor.

“Miss Andrea, I’m Doctor ‘Timi. Can you tell me how you’re feeling exactly?” Andrea looked at the doctor… he was bald. Reminded her of one of her professors in school. She turned and looked at Sam and then Ed, they were smiling at her, a little uncomfortably though.

“Where am I? And who are you people?”

It was the second time Sam and Ed’s mouths opened in shock that evening…

ANDREA: Episode 6

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

If there was a time in her life she had regretted opening her mouth, that was the day. She knew what was coming next if not carefully handled was going to lead to another St Valentine Day's Massacre.

As she stared into the eyes of her men, she could see a mixture of shock, disappointment and annoyance...

"Are you crazy???" said Sam. He was always the more vocal, the more likely to get into a rage and the boldest.

"Calm down, Sam."  She had managed to respond.

"Don't tell me to calm down!!!" He roared as he banged the table and everything on it bounced up and down again.

The force and sound had jolted her out of some of the alcohol induced giddiness and she was sharper now. Even Eddie was visibly shaken. The wine bottle had fallen to its side on the table and the content was spilling out. No one moved to get it.

"I'm sorry, Sam" She said after she had recovered from the shock. "I never meant to piss you guys off. It was just a joke"

"A joke???" Sam roared again. But this time, he didn't bang the table. Eddie slowly stretched his hand to lift up the wine bottle. No one else seemed to notice.

"Yes it was a joke. I guess I must have too much to drink. I'm real sorry" she said. She was beginning to find her voice again.

"Erm... It's okay, Andrea. I just think you shouldn't drink so much. That's the ish with alcohol" Eddie had said.

Sam had turned to fix a murderous stare at him and speaking through his teeth addressed him; "And who asked for your opinion on this, Steve Urkle?"

Now Eddie could count how many times Sam had called him by name on his right hand. He always addressed him with the name of the funny looking and funny talking geek in the American sitcom; 'Family Matters'.

"No one asked for my opinion and I don't need an invitation." He replied almost nonchalantly. "I was dragged into this situation just like you. Besides, I was addressing Andrea so what's the big fuss?"

He pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. He always did this when he was excited or in the middle of a meal he enjoyed so much. Andrea could tell how much Eddie enjoyed a meal by the number of times he pushed up his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his left forefinger. She really enjoyed watching him do that but right now wasn't the right time. The way this was heading, Eddie might just get his glasses, his face and his left forefinger broken.

Sam smiled a menacing laughter. "You should learn to stay out of my biz..." He was saying but Eddie cut in still sounding bored. "And this is also my biz, dude. I'm also married to her just like you in case you missed the memo."

Sam had this look on his face like he was gonna choke.

Eddie turned to look at Andrea with an amused look on his face. "You're a crazy one, babe. That sounded crazy but it still sounds like a plan." He winked and she smiled.

Sam got up at that moment, "I can't believe I'm listening to this geek for crying out loud and it's not your fault at all. One thing I know is that one of these days, you're gonna be in my biz and I'm gonna..."

"You're gonna do what exactly, Johnny Bravo?" Eddie cut in while standing to his feet to meet Sam angry glare for angry glare. "You're gonna do what? Thump me? Clobber me? Let me tell you something, doofus, I took martial arts classes when I was a kid. You'll find out how far I went the moment you attempt to lay one of your paws on me!"

"It's okay, Eddie" Andrea pleaded as she also got up to her feet to go calm Eddie down. How she hated to see him riled up.

"You talk to your Teddy bear. He's the one who needs to chill."  Eddie replied

At this point, Sam was shaking with rage that he could barely stay still. "I hope you're happy with all these, Andrea?" Sam said between clenched teeth. "I hope you're satisfied?"

"Chill out, Sam" Eddie replied. "Why exactly are you so scared of a threesome anyway? Tiny much?"  He then winked.

Sam could take it no more. He picked up the plate of his leftover food before anyone knew what was happening and launched it at Eddie. Andrea reacted before thinking as she instinctively moved to block Eddie and she took the impact of the plate of food squarely in the face...

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Any guesses as to what happens next? Let's hear your thoughts in the comments section.