The Black-belt Rat!

Friends talk about the darndest things, don’t they?! So, we were gathered again in my living room to catch up on things, I had just come home and so had my friend… me, 2 weeks in school; him, 2 months in school… plenty gist, you can guess!
Our conversation took different paths; courses, girls, boys, graduation, life after the big G… and then somehow, the conversation took a very interesting turn; down we went to the paths of the rodents – dear sweet rats! Rats have become famous these days; the ‘roaches oughta be jealous! Now I know plenty of us like to act like we don’t got those tiny black sacks of mischief and annoyance, but hey! who are we kidding! Even the cleanest places’ got a rat or two! Those things can be persistent.

Now to my story… my friend was telling me about the rat that used to live in his room. He said he’s been trying to kill it for weeks, one day he even almost emptied his room but that wise rat hid itself well enough – gave my buddy a hard time, that one! Lol. Anyways, turns out ‘smartrat’ wasn’t so smart after all… one evening, it showed up while my boy was chilling with his visitors; after plenty running after it and throwing things, he caught the rat and did something really gruesome to it. He held it by its tail, poured kerosene on it, set it aflame and put it back on the ground… poor thing danced and shrilled to its death! *sobs* I don’t care what that rat did, it certainly didn’t deserve to go like that *sniffing*

Then my brother cut in, tells the story of how a certain rat climbed up on my cousin’s bed to tickle her fingers! What?! I burst out laughing… I know we got cute fingers in our family but I didn’t know they’ve started attracting rats! Or… you don’t think that rat wanted to put a ring on my cousin’s finger, do you?! Lmfao! Mehn, if na that one, I sure as hell don’t give a rat’s ass about a rat’s ring! Hahaha! *reaching for the tissue*

That was when we went on to ranking the rats, all the rats we’ve known… the one that lived from infant to a well-grown rodent in my boy’s room was definitely a black-belt rat, it certainly possessed numerous survival skills; the one that tried to put a ring on my cousin’s finger is an R-rated rat (the romantic one, lol!); the one that bit and chewed one old man’s fingers years ago was an HWEA rat (hungry-would-eat-anything); those that just like to run around on our ceilings are the Racerats; and the ones that just eat all the food in the kitchen are just the Regulars!

When another rat comes your way, kill it if you want but don’t set it aflame like my friend did; ‘roaches totally deserve that kinda death but not rats!