This blog is inspired by a conversation I had with someone some days ago,
and it (obviously) is directed to the ladies (well… and the bottom QUEEN
dudes).
There was first, an interesting conversation between me and this babe months
ago – how she met her boyfriend… she was all pink going back in time telling
me how they met, how he took her breath away when she first saw him, blab la
blab la..! It was all so sweet BUT I wasn’t satisfied! I also wanted to know
how the guy asked her to be his girl… You dudes know yourselves na, some of you
have some very tacky, cheesy pick-up lines, while others are sincere about the
whole ish.
Let me divert a lil to some of the mawkish ask-out lines I’ve heard:
-
“I really like
you… You’re the kind of girl I want to take home to my mother” Hello! When a
guy tells you that the first time he meets you or on the first date, be
careful, there’s insincerity written all over that!
-
“I want you to be
my missing rib” Mister, do I look like Eve to you?
-
“I was wondering;
would you like to be my queen?” Err… of which kingdom?
-
“You’re just so beautiful;
would you like to have my kids?” Would you ask me that if I had a huge nose
and a much huger lower lip?
-
“There’s a show
tonight, I told my friends I’d bring my girlfriend, I’d like you to come with
me (But I’m not your girlfriend) Well,
I’m asking you now… will you be my girlfriend?” You say yes, and he dumps
your ass after ‘tonight’
Anyways back to the kini at hand jare… “so, tell me exactly how he asked you
to be his girlfriend, what were his words?” – blank –
ummm… he didn’t. “He didn’t? I don’t understand”
*clears throat* well, you know some
relationships start without you knowing how it even started in the first place.
We just started talking really, we were friends and then one thing led to the
other and we’re now more than friends. No one really asked the other any
question. “oh I see, I get what you’re trying to say…”
*beaming up smiling so brightly again* you understand, right? “Oh
yeah I do, I understand too well…”
Fast forward a few months… same girl
*
sobbing* I just don’t know what to do
anymore; I didn’t sign up for this “babe, calm down, what exactly happened.
Well everything is happening all at once,
he doesn’t talk to me anymore, he gets annoyed and calls me names at every
opportunity… and today he said the most outrageous thing I have ever heard! “What’d
he say?”
*with tears in eyes* He said he’s
tired, that he doesn’t even know how I
pressured
him into the relationship, that after all, he didn’t even ask me out, that I pushed
myself into his life; and now he wants out… out of the thraldom I supposedly put
him in. sighs… then give him out! He wants out? Give him out!
*eyes widen* what! Babe, you didn’t just say
that, did you?! Of course I did. Remember I was very quiet months ago after
you narrated the story of how he did NOT ask you out? I was hoping this would
not happen, but it has. So I’ll tell you what I didn’t tell you the last time…
you offered yourself to him on a platter of gold, like ‘here take me, I’m all
yours, free of charge, do with me whatever you want’. And he took you the way
you offered yourself, FOC! You guys went from a-couple-weeks friendship to a
relationship, and you didn’t even make it official! You think marriage is the
only thing that needs to be made official?
But
it was clear he liked me! I didn’t think there was any need making a demand
that he ask me out properly…” That is the point! If he really liked you, he
would tell you all the things he likes about you, and would ask you like a
gentleman should to be his girlfriend, bracing himself for whatever response
you might give him and not give up so easily if you’d said no, making it clear
to you that he cannot do without you. But this dude didn’t ask you out, not
even in a cheesy way, he didn’t ask you at all! He took advantage of the fact
that you liked him, and now that he’s done screwing (with) you, he’s blaming
you for the failure of a relationship that didn’t even officially commence in
the first place. So you’re going to do what he wants now, let him go!
What if he never comes back, I love him! If
he never comes back, then it means he doesn’t deserve you, and you my friend do
not deserve low quality either. Trust me on this one, take back yourself, take
back your platter of gold too… if he needs you, I’m sure he knows where and how
to find you. Now, since nobody died… or did somebody die that I don’t know
about?
*shakes head* No. Good! Wipe ‘em
tears and let’s go grab you some comfort food…
Is anyone getting the picture yet? Ladies? It’s simple, really… if he wants
you, let him ask you. Don’t play the
Assumption
Game with him, cos someday he will
assume
himself out of the relationship, and try to paint you like you’re the
desperate psycho bitch that wanted the relationship so bad. Don’t sell yourself
cheap. Now I’m not saying let him beg and grovel, don’t send him away… but let
him ASK. I won’t say it twice o... let him ASK! (oh, I’ve said it twice
already! SMH) *whispering* LET HIM ASK!
