RIP Goldie

Can't go to bed without saying that it is quite painful to hear that Susan Harvey aka Goldie died a few minutes ago... hurts!

RIP, Princess!

ANDREA: Episode 2

Artwork by: 'godz'

Written by: BlogAces

Co-Written by: Moi!

SAM

Now Sam had just stepped out of the bathroom after a shave and a bath. He had taken time to properly brush his teeth then gargled some mouthwash to obliterate the taste of the cans of beer he had at work from his mouth. The birthday for him started a few hours before midnight. But how could his wife have forgotten to call at midnight? He lay on the bed to try to catch a few hours needed sleep...

He smelt her even before she knocked on the door. Even though it was tainted with perfume now but... Oh that smell...
Now it was true that like every other lady, Andrea liked her perfumes and she was quite selective of them and didn't just buy anything off the shelf. But there was a way Andrea smelt that he couldn't just explain. The closest he could think of was divinity. Yes! That had to be the word. Naturally,she smelt divine. If the angels in heaven had a smell,then Andrea had that smell. No matter the perfume she used,once it connects with the natural smell of her body, it changed everything... Divinity. He allowed himself to admit that there was a way Andrea smelt that he could never miss in a crowd. It was almost like... Telepathy. He remembered the 1st time he set his eyes on Andrea...

It was exactly 7yrs ago.

He went out drinking with 4 friends at a bar that afternoon. It was his birthday and he was treating them. They all just graduated a few months back and were really on a high. He was still on his 3rd bottle of Star when the most amazing thing happened. Now Sam had heard of angels,read about angels & talked about angels. He had even seen a few movies about angels. Being a hunk who took great care of his body by working out religiously, he had had his fair share of 'angels' too. But nothing prepared him for this apparition that seemed to appear before him. She had walked in with the official looking man and that was as far as he was permitting himself to observe about the lady's partner. He had all his concentration on the lady. The way she sat down on the chair offered to her in the bar,her lovely,natural looking long hair;the face that would have made the goddess Athena green with destructive envy, the ample looking bosom which sloped into a flat tummy; long shapely legs which she crossed at the ankles & not the laps; she also, as is to be expected, had her lovely fingers well manicured. No wedding bands so that made it even more special. He was convinced what he was staring at should have be a live sculpture from Mount Olympus.
"Earth to Spacecraft Samson, Earth to Spacecraft Samson, do you read me?" Retorted one of Sam's friend in his best imitation of a robot's voice. The other friends laughed as Samson snapped out of his reverie.
"Hey guys,do you see dat mulatto over there? Sam replied. "The one sitting 11o'clock?"
"Oh you mean the one you've been gaping at? Of course we see her". Another friend answered without even looking up from his glass. "We saw her the moment she entered the bar. All we had to do was follow your gaze & you're seriously drooling by the way"
They all burst out in laughter. 

There was a knock on Sam's door.

"Hey pooh bear, it's Andrea, may I come in?"

ANDREA: The Life Of A Polyandrist

It Begins...

It was one of those days you just wake up with this gut feeling that trouble lurks in the air. Not like it was a dark and cloudy morning,on the contrary,the weather was fine. So what about this particular morning seemed to bother Andrea so much?  Dang!!! It finally struck her so hard that it practically flings her out of the bed. She wears her pink slippers automatically but in a rush as she makes for the door. She halts momentarily because it occurred to her she had forgotten something then she turns,rushes back to bed, raises one of her pillows,picks up her mobile phone and dashes out of the room again.

Sam was due in any moment from his night shift and of all things that could go wrong,she practically forgot to call him at midnight! It was Sam's birthday and she should have... What was she thinking??? As she got to the base of the 5-bedroom mansion still rubbing her eyeballs,Eddie stepped out of the kitchen with a mug of coffee,plants a peck on her left cheek just as he whispered "good morning,sunshine" and walks to his laptop already open on the dining table.

"Good morning, Honey," said Andrea "Did you know today is Sam's birthday?"

"All I know is that today is Friday." Eddie replied without taking his eyes off the laptop.

Andrea sighed and decided to call Sam. She pushed a button as she had his numbers on speed dial and went to sit in the living room while it rang. The phone rang but there was no response and Andrea redialled. Just as she was about to put the phone to her left ear, a tall hunk of a man barged into the living room.

"SAM!!!" Andrea screamed in shock. "I was just trying to..." "Save it!" Sam snapped. "Don't even bother. I need to go upstairs to freshen up and I'll try not to forget to come down." As he turned away,Eddie said "Happy Birthday,Sam!" Sam turned and gave Eddie the kind of look that'll make even Medusa shed tears. Then he turned and walked away up the stairs to his room.

Eddie and Andrea both looked at each other speechlessly. Eddie was actually shaken but he broke the silence all the same. "Looks like I'll have to run along now. So much to catch up on."

He hurriedly packed up his laptop in its bag,walked over to Andrea and planted a delicious kiss on her lips. "You taste so much like yesterday, honey." Eddie retorted as he stepped out of the house.

Andrea simply sighed. She knew it was going to be a very long day. It's easier to manage 20 men at work than 2 men at home.

She stood up gingerly,walked up the stairs back to her room,shut the door behind her and she went to sit in front of her dressing table. She stared at her reflection eye to eye and with a defeated smile,she told an imaginary camera the truth...

Andrea

"Oh Hi! I'm Andrea. Those 2 guys are my Husbands. And we all live under the same Roof."

Written by: @Blog_Aces

Co-Written by: Moi!

Artwork by: 'godz'

How Not To Be Bored @ Meetings!

Let's admit, after the first 20 (max. 30) minutes at a meeting (whatever kind - except for maybe other kinds of meetings that involve certain kinds of furniture, like a bed and pillow), the dreadful B starts to set in! Right?

No, 'B' doesn't stand for 'brainwashing' (or can it?)... anyway, I was talking of the B for 'boredom'. I know I've been bored at meetings to the point of yawning openly!

So I decided to put together some things one can do to stay unbored at meetings:

• Bring your imaginary friend with you. One imaginary friend will do to avoid losing complete focus. Alternatively, you can bring you alter ego. I mean, even a grandfather like Charly Boy has an alter ego, so why can't you?! Although, bringing your alter ego would mean swapping personalities at intervals which could only add to the problem when people start to notice you! Well, good luck with that, I was just tryna help!

*** Barr. Jo, however, thinks having imaginary friends and alter egos points to "preliminary madness", but hey! show me someone who's totally, completely SANE in this part of the world.

• If you're restless like me, then it means you can multi-task. If you can multi-task, then that means you've got a busy brain too... so to avoid/combat boredom, multi-think!

MULTI-THINK (v.)
(mul.ti.think)
The practice or capability of handling more than one thought at the same time.

Hehe... So, you can mentally outline all the other things you want to do before the day is over (e.g. scream and breathe). Figure out what you want to wear tomorrow. Identify all the relatives you haven't holla'd at in forever, and make mental notes to holla soon (even tho the chances are you might not, at least not soon). Etc. Just let simple random thoughts run through your head.

• Bring your own candy (in case there'll be none in the candy dishes, or  some other candy-glutton beat you to gobbling 'em all up). I favour Vicks Lemon Plus and Butter Mint. What about you?

*** Never bring chewing gum; you don't want to be embarrassed, suspended or be labelled 'unprofessional', do ya?

• If there's a coffee-maker in your conference room, offer to be the... coffee maker! (Or tea maker, as the case demands). That way you'll be on your feet most of the time. Happily serve so not to be unhappily bored.

• You can also occasionally glance at the Exit when you're about to lose it! Let the door serve as your object of solace. Repeat these words to yourself... "Do not panic, my dear, it's almost over". Then exhale!

Voila, those are my two five cents. I'm going to bed!

All Things Creepy

Creepy comes in different shapes, sizes... and can I say, odour? Yeah, totally!

Ok, so you know when you get in a bus and it makes that noise like it's the fastest vehicle on the road at the moment, when indeed it's the slowest? Yeah, I was in that kinda situation this morning; every other thing moving on the road, including people, was zooming past us. I kept checking the screen of my phone, I was so darn late! How on earth could I have gotten on board the slowest Marwa in the park today of all days?!

Tapping my feet, chewing on my lower lip - not paying attention to the fact that I was gradually licking up the gloss and lipstick on my lower lip, meaning I'll end up with glossless, shineless lips before noon which I hate because I don't carry make-up in my bag, ever! My eyes somehow wander to the rearview mirror (ok, I lied - they didn't just wander, I always look in all the eye-reachable mirrors on a car just to make sure I hadn't grown something that wasn't previously there on my face between the time I left home and 'presently')... so my eyes wander and those eyes! Bulgy, rotating eyes! Something like this:

Wait, wait... no, they weren't my eyes staring back at me. They belonged to that dude sitting beside the driver! Turned out he'd been staring at me for a while, long and hard. Scary, cold stares... kind of like saying 'I know what you did last night' (and I did nada last night, so I have no idea why he was staring like that!). Till we got to our destination, dude's zeal to stare in the mirror at me never wavered and that was downright creepy!

N.B.: Guys, staring like that isn't exactly pleasant! I can imagine the message you're trying to pass to the girl, but trust me, it only makes her uncomfortable!

Then, I finally get there! 'There' being where I was rushing to so I could secure a comfortable seat in case it was gonna be a long day. This fair chick comes and sits beside me. In my mind, "mirror, mirror in my head, who's the fairest of us two?" I was comparing her hands with mine, trying to figure out who was fairer in complexion... THEN it happened! Lolita opens her mouth and I had to do a double back! Twice! What?! Do you blame me? I needed space! You see, when Lolita talked, she talked with all her body - girl, just had to gesticulate so it was hard figuring out the source of the errr... aroma, body or mouth?

N.B.: Boys and girls, please take care of your MOs and BOs. It's also as unpleasant as staring!

Finally, I had urgent business to attend to later in the day, business I had to get in the rain for! Like some 45 minutes later, I was drenched to my... my... everything! It was time to go home, so I got in a bus. I was lucky to get the beside-the-driver seat, I needed the privacy... if only I knew! My eyes were closed all thru the journey, a thousand things going on and on in my head... I didn't know I had eyes on me, AGAIN! When I was close to my stop, I opened my eyes, and I discovered when the driver's eyes weren't on the road, they were on me! As I was about to get off his bus, he said "e be like say that rain beat you well well, I see as you relax since"... I rolled my eyes, and opened the door. Good riddance!

N.B.: Boys, do not openly rudely stare at a girl whose clothes are wetly clinging to her body! It is not nice!!! And don't pass dumb remarks too at the end. It's infuriating!

Have a creepy-free evening!

1st of,

My first entry of the year… how’s 2013 been treating y’all so far?

Quick summary of my 2012:
- I was bored to desperation the first half of the year! I didn’t do anything silly tho… I got a job!
- Second half of the year, I got a job at an Audio/Film/TVCs Production Studio… and my time there was great. Recorded a Rock track, then a 7-minute gospel track, and I did a soundtrack for a short film produced/directed by my ex-boss.
- I watched a lot of Misfits, Revenge and Gossip Girl…
- I came up with my hottest guys of the year:

1.

The picture says it all, yeah? Dude is hot! In '3 Idiots' and especially in 'Ghajini', Aamir Khan takes my breath away!

2.

Who doesn't love 'em a cocky bastard once in a while! I know I do! I even named my phone after him. Ladies and gentlemen... Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass!

3.

I also love me geeks, especially the fashionable geeks! Geeky, witty, dresses to impress and the all-time party crasher... Nolan Ross from 'Revenge'!

4.

Let’s throw a lil douchebaggery into the equation! I can watch the first season of Misfits over and over again cos of Nathan! He’s hot in a vulgar way!

5.

And of course… this character. Most Naruto fans believe he’s gay tho. But gay or not, Sai deserves to be on my ‘hot list’!

And that’s it for my hottest guys in 2012…

- I made some cool new friends on Twitter; @toperants @shaiontheprowl @akohindey… all bloggers like myself!

- Christmas was a little boring; but Watchnight Service was great!

- Then… I quit my job! (Even though plenty do not approve of that move)

My 2013? Well, it’s moving smooth so far as I continue to apply the words of my Pastor… “be courageous and be strong!”

You’ll be hearing more from me! Till then… Namaste!

Cheery!

On the 14th day of December, it still doesn't feel like Christmas around here... and today seems exceptionally boring plus I'm quite in a mood!

So this morning, one woman 'accidentally' hit me with a sack of tomatoes; because I was in such a hurry, I hardly heard her apology, I just flew past her and my thoughts flew with me. It's almost Christmas and a lot of tomatoes will be going from sack to stomach in forms of stews, sauces, soups, jollof rice of different sorts - the tasty, the overdone, the underdone, peppered beef, ponmo, fish... etc. (Gotta shut up now, mouth is watering!) One would think that cos of all these foods that's coming our way in about 2 weeks, everyone would be wearing a smile and welcoming the Christmas spirit with arms & stomach wide open; BUT no that doesn't seem to be the case! I don't see my friends being festive at all, heck! I don't see ME being festive!

A buddy said he's still hustling and if some good comes out of his hustling, maybe then he'd be in a festive mood. Another just doesn't care if it's Christmas or Father's day, she's running away... from her husband. Looks like end of the year is not so festive for many - friends are splitting up, hustle is not yielding fruit... did you hear about Julie who lost her husband days ago after he danced to Gangnam Style? End of this year is definitely not festive for the poor widow!

But hey, amidst all the gloom we need to cheer each other up! I mean, aside from the fact that it's that period  again when we celebrate how much Christ loves us enough to die for us, we also mustn't let ourselves be put down...

Here's sending some cheer your way:

Lol! Now I made you smile, right? Be festive, people... but hey, don't mix alcohol and Gangnam Style - I'm not sure that would be a great idea! xo