A popular saying goes “a problem shared is half solved.” Yes!
But a heart bottled in the pain of humiliation can never know
peace. The issue of rape is that which is discussed and shared
amongst us, but yet without the simplest solution.
This is very perturbing, and thus has sounded the alarm within
us to keep on speaking till we can reduce or inhibit this violence
and ungodly act.
Let us not fold our arms and watch our ‘PRIDE’ being trampled
upon and tormented without giving it a fight.
Rape is fiercer than a civil war, yet if we must win this battle,
we must fight with our heart and not watch on.
#Bloggersville presents
“The pain of a withered rose, a
trumpet for war.”
#SayNoToRape Day V
"He
forcefully thrust inside of me, tearing my maidenhead all the way to my heart,
tearing my emotion all the way to my soul, tramping on my feelings and
stampeding my self-esteem. I can only feel pain as he forced his way into what
is mine; my temple, my body, my future. I'm his brother's 16 year old daughter.
He is my uncle, was my friend and role model until now, how could he? He wouldn’t
listen to my cry for mercy, he wouldn't acknowledge my hoarse voice from
endless scream of pain, he ignored my tears and my blood-shot swollen eyes. I
must have cried a river but he kept thrusting inside of me, knowing fully well
that the stickiness between my legs is not wetness but my blood. How cruel can
he be? I tried to look in his face, I can't recognize him anymore, I can only
see the face of my "rapist": the devil with red face, two horns,
green eyes, long ears and evil grin.
That afternoon,
uncle Toba came home with a can of my favourite Pringles. I always looked
forward to his visit because he wouldn't stop buying me things and I could talk
to him about anything, unlike mum who is so uptight. He was my idea of
"cool" and I had a girly crush on him. I was wearing a tank top on shorts. I sat
across him and told him all the new gist from school; who had a new boyfriend, who
was no longer a virgin and who still was. Suddenly, he was beside me on the
sofa looking at me in that stupid way men look at women in adult movies. And so
I pinched him, "uncle T did you hear me?" He replied by forcing his
mouth on mine and sticking his tongue in my mouth. It was gross and I pushed
him back trying to recover from the shock. How could Uncle T have kissed me?
Our eyes met at the same place where his bulge was visible between his pants
and I bolted for the door but he was there before me. He clamped his hand on my
mouth and carried me back to the living room where he dropped me
unceremoniously on the centre rug. He turned up the volume of the home theatre
system and I could feel the floor vibrate beneath me. I clamped my teeth on his
palm and bit hard, he jerked his hand away and smacked me hard with the back of
his hand. Uncle T had never laid his hands on me and I shook in fear. I burst
out in tears, "Uncle T! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bite you. I was just
joking".
I still believed
he was playing with me and I never imagined sex with Uncle T talk more of rape.
However, he was far gone, his eyes were wild, he slipped off his jeans and I
could see the outline of his manhood through his boxers, it looked very huge
and my eyes grew into saucers. I forcefully swallowed the lump in my throat.
"You think I've been buying you gifts for free abi? My dear, nothing goes
for nothing and I will reap the fruit of my labour today", he said as he
reached for my breast. It finally penetrated my brain that Uncle T was not
joking, but intended to rape me.
I scrambled up and
tried to make a go at the door and he put out his right leg and swept me off my
feet. I landed on my back. He tore my tank top and used it to tie my hands
above my head. He mounted me and held me down with his legs while he removed my
shorts. He tore my pants to shreds. Fear wouldn't let me scream and I still
assumed he would soon stand up and tell me it was just a joke - my naïve 16
year old mind. He pushed my legs apart with his knee and tried to thrust inside
of me, first time, it wouldn't go in. He opened my legs wider and tried again.
He put Spit in his hands and rubbed it on himself and on the third try he
succeeded in thrusting in. I could feel my maidenhead tear like ankara and
screamed from the pain. After about 10 minutes of thrusting and grunting like
an animal, Uncle T stood up, spat on me and told me I was a little bitch who
had been tormenting him with my plum body in shorts and with my little pointed
breast. Nobody will ever believe, not even my own parents, so I shouldn't try
to tell.
It’s been exactly
a month and two weeks since the rape and I'm pregnant. How can I explain that
I'm pregnant for my own Uncle? Everybody thinks Uncle Toba is a saint and
nobody will believe me, even you mum. I feel very dirty, used and so ashamed of
myself. My sudden quietness is not from my first period like you think, neither
is my continuous tears from my menstrual ache and of course, the blood is not
from my period. I can't sleep as Uncle T keeps coming to rape me in my dreams.
I shrink whenever daddy tries to touch me, not because I'm sweaty but because I
can't stand human contact anymore. My three times daily ritual shower is not
from cleanliness but from trying to wash away the memories. Every touch feels
like Uncle T's hands. I went by the pharmacy earlier today and bought
"indocid" on the pretence that there are too many rats in the house.
By the time you get this, I should be ..."
*****
Mrs Williams
dropped the letter as she rushed into her daughter's room and found her lifeless
body on the bed.
Rape is a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual
abuse. Violation and assault of a person's body, mind and soul; that which no
one should be subjected to. It doesn't just break one's spirit, it practically
ruins one's life. Accept and respect her No as NO. Say No to Rape.
Written by Adegoke Adedoyinsola
@doyeenOblack
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