POCAHONTAS

I loved cartoons a lot as a child, especially those with the princesses… beautiful, beautiful and beautiful! One of my faves was Pocahontas, I’m talking the story now, not the princess.

The songs, the Indians, John Smith, Pocahontas herself – they all thrilled me… so I decided to watch it again!

Coke in hand, sprawled on the couch, Agnes in front of me, eager to see one of my fave cartoons that I haven’t seen in… what? 15 years? “ooohh, this will be great!”, I thought.

Little did I know…

The whole thing was messed up! First, I realised something I didn’t when I was fifteen years younger – Pocahontas is ugly! Aaarrggghhhhh!!! Did you see those lips? Fish lips! And her face, it’s so … so… wooden! You don’t believe me? Have a look:

And that man with the big chest belly, the governor? Was that eyeshadow, blue eyeshadow? *sighs* #plentyhomo:

… then Part 2!

*smh* *sighs* *yawns* totally uninteresting! Is it me or did she grow darker?:

And what was all that sign language that her friend was going on about? “(sign language) Do not… (sign language)… forget (sign language)… this land (sign language). #drops!

Then she falls in love with the other John? What happened to “…no matter what happens, I’ll always be with you forever”? Maybe ‘they’ were just trying to pass a message across that when you feel “together, forever” with someone? that feeling don’t last forever!

And now I’m just finding it difficult to see which John she looked better with...

Him:

Or him (o_O):