a 'Johnny' on a Journey...

I’m not known to sit my ass down in school for more than three weeks, four weeks max. I’m restless like that. I like getting on the road and love coming home to Lagos, to my spring bed that all my friends envy. TMI, right? Sorry… back to the story; sometimes I enjoy the journey – the breeze, the solitude, the ability to just sit near the window and think about whatever… sometimes, the journey is just so-so! But today! What my eyes saw, I have never seen or experienced since I been shuttling my sweet self between Lagos and Ogun State… since 2006!

I got into the cab and was so happy cos with a cab the journey is always faster; the journey was fast alright but a weirdo was driving! Everytime we hit a pothole, the driver would hit his head and mumble something like he was scolding himself… the thing is I don’t know if he blames himself for the potholes in the roads (maybe he thinks he’s the Nigerian government), or maybe he was scolding himself for seeing the potholes and still driving straight into them… or maybe with each pothole-diving, he had to hit his head to rearrange his brain cells or something! Whatever it was that caused the hitting sha, I was glad when he pulled over at Berger!

Before I got off the cab tho, there was this dude sitting beside me whom I didn’t know whether to laugh or shake my head in pity at his act… seriously, how do you nurse one Fanyogo from Ogun state to Lagos?! Dude kept shaking the triangular paper pack and raising it to his lips; I come dey wonder “shey na fountain of everlasting yoghurt ni?” Na wa o!

The traffic was terrible, the roads were messy, the drivers and agberos were loud and annoying; I whispered to myself “Welcome to Lagos” *sighs*. Anyways now we come to the real point of this blog… Y’all must remember that I put up an update on my facebook yesterday about my ‘awkwardest moment’? I’ll tell you what was awkward… brace yourselves, this shit is about to get real nasty!

It was nice to have gotten a seat beside the driver, the less body contact (that would have occurred if I had sat amongst the passengers) – the happier I am. So you can imagine how happy I was to have gotten that precious seat right in front of the bus, beside the driver… I’ll just skip to the nasty part now *exhales*. The driver first moved over me trying to adjust his right-hand mirror when he coulda just asked the person sitting beside the door to do it for him... I didn’t think anything of it at first except I adjusted so his shoulder won’t collide with my precious twins (lol). Anyways, I kept facebooking o while praying in my mind for the traffic to clear up cos ‘exhausted’ was my middle name at the time. I suddenly noticed that this dude kept moving his hand from the gear to beside my lap, he didn’t quite have the guts to put his hand on it, but he had the guts to do something else tho; since the traffic was really heavy, we were at a standstill, so between using one hand to try to stray beside my lap and trying to rub his shoulder with mine, this sicko was using his other hand to *pause for effect*… fondle his ‘thing’! Aaaarrrggghhhhhh! Gross right?! I know! I thought I was hallucinating at first, you know; but then I had to really look down at him and yes! That really-sick-really-demented son-of-a-b**ch was taking really slow strokes at his… dick! (I screamed in my head, again). To cut the nasty story short, I pushed him real hard and made a disgusting face at him. I was glad to get off the bus minutes later. Since then, I haven’t exactly been psychologically balanced; seriously if I wasn’t in 9ja, I woulda sued his black ass and made him pay for damages cos I am damaged, oh yeah I am. There are some things people should not experience in their lifetime and I just experienced one of it – some stupid sicko using me as his sexual focal point to jerk off while he drove! Oh gawd!

*going to puke…*