BEER-BREATH

Dear Beer-Breath,


I know today is Friday, but that is no excuse to spoil the air I breathe with all that nasty musk! I can totally live without it, trust me!


So as you go out today to party and down all the beer (or any other alcoholic material) you can lay your hands and money on, please wash out your mouth before you physically contact/interact with me.


Yours seriously,
Despiser of Beer-Breath

Haha! I’m sure some girl is thinking the above words but may be too scared to tell/write/text it to her beloved man – probably she doesn’t wanna hurt him or want him to think she’s indirectly telling him he’s got a terrible mouth odour (ugh! *wrinkles nose*)… well, I’m helping such a person out here. It’s my God-given obligation this Friday.

Boys, boys… how are you today? I’m sure majority of you are glad it’s Friday again – another day to get rid of the tie at the end of work, go cool off at some club (although I’m familiar with the fact that what you do at the club is very not near to cooling off), transform into a sponge and imbibe several litres of alcohol. Well, I’m glad fer y’all… except there’s one tiny thing tho that most of you do not put into consideration – I don’t know if it’s cos you don’t care or maybe it’s just cos you’re a little inattentive when it comes to your hygiene. Which one?

Anyways whichever it might be, I’m not about to play ‘Mother’ today and start with the hygiene lessons… nah! BUT one question? Have you ever been close to an unwashed mouth that consumed beer like several hours ago, huh? Yeah? Oh, the stench! I mean, an unwashed mouth is bad enough; an unwashed mouth after beer intake is just crazy!

Now, you don’t expect to get home after clubbing with your mouth reeking like that and still want your girlfriend/wife to ‘do’. Stale beer is next only to vomit as a sexual suppressant. Need I say more?!
So what have you learnt? Never ever breathe on (or [insert whatever you do to your woman after partying and getting drunk here, e.g. 'kiss']) your partner without cleaning your teeth and tongue first.

Have a good Friday!