ANDREA: Episode 8

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

Andrea tried to get out of the hospital bed; she loathed narrow beds – another reason why hospitals were a no-no for her. The doctor was beside her in an instant, “Madam, please remain in bed. You cannot try to leave, at least not yet. We have to make sure you’re perfectly alright before you…”

“I don’t need you to ascertain that I’m perfectly alright, Dr… whatever!”

Sam and Ed were still standing there, dumbfounded. What on God’s earth was going on?!

Ed found his voice first, “Come now darling, you don’t have to be rude to the doctor. He…”

“Errr… I’m sure I asked this question a few seconds ago, who are you?” Andrea cut in before Ed could finish his statement.

Sam, at that moment, swallowed an imaginary lump in his throat and it felt so real. Real? Is this real? Like for real, Andrea can’t remember them? Oh wait… maybe there’s still hope for him. Andrea appeared not to remember Ed, but just maybe she’ll remember him… time to try his luck. Sam opened his mouth to speak…

“Cupcake, please try to calm down…”

“Do not call me cupcake! I hate cupcakes. And if you don’t get me out of this place right now I’ll go crazy!”

“You hate cupcakes?! Since when?”

“Oh Sam, isn’t that a very stupid question to ask at this point in time!” Ed almost screamed. Sam was about to respond when Ed cut him off, “It’s a rhetoric question, shell brain. There’s no need to answer!”

If there was another plate handy right now, Sam wouldn’t have hesitated to hurl it at Ed and he wouldn't have missed this time; but Ed was the least of his problems. Whatever was
wrong with Andrea and her memory – THAT was the real problem!

Doctor ‘Timi cleared his throat.”Gentlemen and Madam, let’s all try to stay calm,” he turned to Andrea “Ma’am, what can you remember about yourself.”

“My name is Andrea Nnenna Metzger…”

“Metzger?” The doctor, confused, asked.

“Yes, Metzger. It means butcher. I have a German father and an Ibo mother. I am twenty-five years old…”

“Cup… ummm… Andrea, you’re twenty-eight. What on earth is wrong with you?!” Sam could not take it anymore.

“Sir… outside please”

“What! You’re sending me out?”

“Yes. Now. Please.”

As the doctor ushered Sam out while following him, Andrea and Ed could hear their muffled voices.

Ed only heard the word “Selective”, he put that and another word together. But how? Was Andrea seeking escape before now? Did she feel trapped in their marriage? Even if she did, he wouldn’t blame her; Andrea was a strong woman! He was sure it would be a task keeping two women, not to talk of marrying and keeping two men of different personalities under the same roof. Question now is, where would they start from?

Sam and the doctor walked back into the room, interrupting Ed’s thoughts. Sam had a grim look on his face, the doctor didn’t look exactly happy either.

“Ma’am…”

“Doctor, I’m ready to go home now. If you’ll please discharge me and let my two wonderful husbands help me out of here?” Andrea seemed to be in the mood for cutting people short, and why not! Hadn’t her celebratory mood for their first Valentine’s day together with her men been cut short too, literally, considering her cut forehead!

“But… Doctor! I thought you said she had selective amnesia..!” Sam could hardly believe his ears.

Andrea laughed softly. “Don’t blame the doctor, Sammie. That was what I wanted you guys to believe. Or maybe I really had temporary selective amnesia… anyway, my memory is fine now. Eddie, could you please get my painkillers from the doctor? I’ll be in the car.” She walked past the three men, and out of the room.

The doctor raised one of his eyebrows. He was actually in shock at what the lady just blurted about having two husbands. The lady must definitely have a screw loose somewhere.

Sam knew without being told he was in trouble. The only time Andrea calls him “Sammie”, with or without a smile on her face, was when she was really mad at
him. He had that sinking feeling that this was gonna end up real bad but what he couldn't put his finger on was how.

Ed was smiling, that was all he could do, for Andrea was indeed a jolly good wife and he was genuinely enjoying this drama. He knew Andrea extremely enjoyed her little drama too cos Andrea only
called him “Eddie” after she’d orgasmed; and this surely ended in such a climax.

Now to move on with the rest of their lives…

ANDREA: Episode 7

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

Red. One of her fave colours. Ox-blood red, even better.

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“Oh my God! Andrea!”

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*smiles*

“OMG, Andrea!” That was always Berachah’s first line when she was about to complain about something. “OMG, Andrea. You’re such a drag. Don’t you get tired of red, it’s in everything you wear.” Bera was her course mate and also her closest friend back then. She didn’t always find it funny that Andrea was crazy about the colour red. 

But seriously, what was wrong in obsessing over a colour; not detrimental at all!

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“Andrea, please open your eyes…”

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Huh? Open her eyes? But her eyes were wide open… in another place and time, though. Struggling with this rather wide piece of fabric, trying to turn it into a curtain was such a huge task. She was trying to set up and decorate a stage and oh! how she wished she had longer arms. Can’t see past the red curtain. Oh boy, such a drag! (like Bera would say)

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“Look what you’ve done! I hope she wakes and doesn’t remember you anymore! You big buffalo!”

“Shut up, and let’s get her on the couch over there. Senami! Please hurry with the towel and bowl of water.”

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Voices. Argument. Words floating, somewhere above her head. Wait, what was that pounding in her head…

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Theo’s party. The music had been loud and the people were giddy; some with wine, others with excitement; many had come alone but were not going to return alone. At this party, even if you didn’t bring ‘omo’, you can carry ‘omo’ back home with you. It was one of her first jobs, she wasn’t exactly a professional decorator yet but she had managed to transform Theo’s large living room into a party space. It was too late before she realised that the mixed fruit punch had been generously laced with hemp. She’d had one too many cups, and now her head was pounding. She walked to the DJ to ask if he could turn down the volume of the music a lil bit. “Turn down the volume…”, she was saying.

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“She’s saying something”, that was Sam. “Turn down the volume?” Confused, he looked at Ed and back at Andrea. “Cupcake, there’s nothing loud here, what are you talking about?”

“That must be the effect of your flying plate. Must feel like a disco club in her head right now!” Ed said, scowling at Sam.

“I think we should get her to a hospital.” They both looked back half-surprised. They’d forgotten Senami was standing, still holding the bowl now filled with bloody water. Amongst the three of them, they had managed to clean out the wound on Andrea’s forehead. Looked like she might be needing a few stitches though.

“I agree. Senami, please help Sam get her outside, I’ll start the car.” Ed went to grab his car keys and dashed out of the house, shouting for Dogo to open the gate.

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How she hated hospitals! The atmosphere, the smell… everytime she’d been summoned to a hospital, it was for bad news’ sake! First, she’d gotten a phone call, Bera had died at childbirth, she’d lost her sister from another mother – it was an immense loss. Then her own mother had died too, years later… she didn’t even like to think about that. Finally on the list of dead people (so far), and more recently – if 3 years ago could be considered ‘recent’, her father had joined her mother. Orphan, and with a task to carry out without much of a choice, she’d had to marry. If a girl was to marry two husbands, then she had the right to carefully choose, which was what she did. Sam and Ed. Two men that had nothing in common. Who wants similar men under the same roof, anyway! Where is the surprise and excitement in that! No regrets, for the choices she’d had to make. Even if it resulted in a deep gash on her forehead.

She was ready to open her eyes… but, something she’d heard Ed say earlier put an idea in her head.

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“Hey look, she’s opening her eyes.”

“Oh finally, thank God.”

“Andrea? Baby, you ok..? Sweetie, we’re so sorry…”

Andrea raised her hand to her head… “ssshhhh, not so loud, gentlemen! The point is to ease the pain in her head, not compound it, I’m sure there’s enough time to apologise later.” That was the doctor.

“Miss Andrea, I’m Doctor ‘Timi. Can you tell me how you’re feeling exactly?” Andrea looked at the doctor… he was bald. Reminded her of one of her professors in school. She turned and looked at Sam and then Ed, they were smiling at her, a little uncomfortably though.

“Where am I? And who are you people?”

It was the second time Sam and Ed’s mouths opened in shock that evening…

ANDREA: Episode 6

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

If there was a time in her life she had regretted opening her mouth, that was the day. She knew what was coming next if not carefully handled was going to lead to another St Valentine Day's Massacre.

As she stared into the eyes of her men, she could see a mixture of shock, disappointment and annoyance...

"Are you crazy???" said Sam. He was always the more vocal, the more likely to get into a rage and the boldest.

"Calm down, Sam."  She had managed to respond.

"Don't tell me to calm down!!!" He roared as he banged the table and everything on it bounced up and down again.

The force and sound had jolted her out of some of the alcohol induced giddiness and she was sharper now. Even Eddie was visibly shaken. The wine bottle had fallen to its side on the table and the content was spilling out. No one moved to get it.

"I'm sorry, Sam" She said after she had recovered from the shock. "I never meant to piss you guys off. It was just a joke"

"A joke???" Sam roared again. But this time, he didn't bang the table. Eddie slowly stretched his hand to lift up the wine bottle. No one else seemed to notice.

"Yes it was a joke. I guess I must have too much to drink. I'm real sorry" she said. She was beginning to find her voice again.

"Erm... It's okay, Andrea. I just think you shouldn't drink so much. That's the ish with alcohol" Eddie had said.

Sam had turned to fix a murderous stare at him and speaking through his teeth addressed him; "And who asked for your opinion on this, Steve Urkle?"

Now Eddie could count how many times Sam had called him by name on his right hand. He always addressed him with the name of the funny looking and funny talking geek in the American sitcom; 'Family Matters'.

"No one asked for my opinion and I don't need an invitation." He replied almost nonchalantly. "I was dragged into this situation just like you. Besides, I was addressing Andrea so what's the big fuss?"

He pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. He always did this when he was excited or in the middle of a meal he enjoyed so much. Andrea could tell how much Eddie enjoyed a meal by the number of times he pushed up his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his left forefinger. She really enjoyed watching him do that but right now wasn't the right time. The way this was heading, Eddie might just get his glasses, his face and his left forefinger broken.

Sam smiled a menacing laughter. "You should learn to stay out of my biz..." He was saying but Eddie cut in still sounding bored. "And this is also my biz, dude. I'm also married to her just like you in case you missed the memo."

Sam had this look on his face like he was gonna choke.

Eddie turned to look at Andrea with an amused look on his face. "You're a crazy one, babe. That sounded crazy but it still sounds like a plan." He winked and she smiled.

Sam got up at that moment, "I can't believe I'm listening to this geek for crying out loud and it's not your fault at all. One thing I know is that one of these days, you're gonna be in my biz and I'm gonna..."

"You're gonna do what exactly, Johnny Bravo?" Eddie cut in while standing to his feet to meet Sam angry glare for angry glare. "You're gonna do what? Thump me? Clobber me? Let me tell you something, doofus, I took martial arts classes when I was a kid. You'll find out how far I went the moment you attempt to lay one of your paws on me!"

"It's okay, Eddie" Andrea pleaded as she also got up to her feet to go calm Eddie down. How she hated to see him riled up.

"You talk to your Teddy bear. He's the one who needs to chill."  Eddie replied

At this point, Sam was shaking with rage that he could barely stay still. "I hope you're happy with all these, Andrea?" Sam said between clenched teeth. "I hope you're satisfied?"

"Chill out, Sam" Eddie replied. "Why exactly are you so scared of a threesome anyway? Tiny much?"  He then winked.

Sam could take it no more. He picked up the plate of his leftover food before anyone knew what was happening and launched it at Eddie. Andrea reacted before thinking as she instinctively moved to block Eddie and she took the impact of the plate of food squarely in the face...

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Any guesses as to what happens next? Let's hear your thoughts in the comments section.

ANDREA: Episode 5

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

Andrea was still in bed by 9 am and pondering over the events that happened exactly 2 weeks ago. It was Valentine's Day and the 1st she would be having with Sam and Eddie together as a family and she had decided that she would make sure she balanced it out so that none of her husbands would suspect she preferred one to the other.

She remembered sitting to think of what gift she could get for the guys for Val without getting them at each other's throats. She knew she couldn't get one a more expensive gift because that might indicate preference and too bad for her that the only thing the 2 guys seemed to have in common when it came to liking something was HER. Eddie liked technological toys, Sam liked sex toys. She could get Eddie a brand new phone and a card or something but she wondered what she could get for Sam to top that. If she had to buy shirts, she would have to buy a large number of them and it would look like she was trying too hard. She didn't want that. She had a lot to do that day as she was going shopping for some fabrics and accessories. She was to deliver on the job the following week and time was running out. It sure is a heck of a job keeping up with these two men and her interior design career. Quality creative ideas required!

She had gotten out that day promising herself to think of what to get for the guys while working then get back to spend time with them.

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She was too busy to even remember.

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When she got back home around 5 pm that day, she was so spent but she had made up her mind she would be involved with making dinner that night even if it killed her. Senami had already started the business of making dinner so she rushed upstairs to bathe then came back to help in the kitchen.

Sam was the 1st guy home in the evening and he came in carrying some parcels. He had kissed her passionately at the door and handed her her gifts. He had gotten her a card, some assorted chocolates, a 100ml Paul Smith Rose by Paul Smith perfume, a beautiful teddy bear which she immediately christened Ted & a bottle of wine for the occasion. She thanked him & rewarded him with a teddy bear hug & another passionate kiss. It was nearly 7 pm & dinner was almost ready. He went up to take a shower & by 7.30 pm, they were already seated at the table for dinner. They were having fried rice with well grilled chicken for dinner.

About 5 minutes later, Eddie entered carrying his own package, walked over to kiss her good evening and wished her a Happy Valentine Day. He knew better to say a word to Sam at that time so he simply dropped a beautiful card and 2 parcels beside her plate & sat down to dish himself some of the food. She had opened the parcels to find a box of chocolates & a brand new customised Blackberry Z10. She shrieked with elation before she could stop herself as she stood up to hug and plant a rich kiss on Eddie's lips while Sam paid full attention to his meal. She was so happy with her gifts that she felt bad she didn't get them anything. She decided she would make it up to them as they continued with their meal with an awkward silence at the table.

After 3 glasses of wine, she had felt a little light-headed and decided to try a joke that might loosen up the atmosphere. She had opened her mouth and with a few winks had said;

"Alright guys, what do you monsters say to a threesome after dinner tonight?"

Eddie almost choked on the water he was sipping and Sam dropped the forked chicken he was about putting in his mouth.

The two guys had looked at themselves in horror and then they both turned with a wide-eyed look at her, simultaneously they shouted...

"WHAAATTTT?????????!!!!!!!!!!"

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So readers, what do you think the Valentine is gonna look like? Let’s hear your thoughts.

Kimye's Nude Mag Cover Photo

So I haven't blogged anything about the Power couple - Kimye, but here I am.

*sighs*

Seriously?! Even though I'm a fan of steamy, hot and sexy, I'm not sure I approve of this one! Not on the cover of a mag! Not when a baby is right in-between that warm hot embrace!

ANDREA: Episode 4

Artwork by: 'godz'

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

It was 25th November, International World’s Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. As much as Senami hated the days of her life before she was rescued from the claws of her stepfather and the doubts and accusations from her mother, she couldn’t quite keep those crazy nights out of her mind especially on days like this! It’s surprising how many women out there are beaten and raped on a daily basis but have to keep mute because of fear of disbelief, rejection and blame! Yes, blame! The general idea now is that it’s entirely the women’s fault that they were raped. But the most painful of all is the disbelief. Senami’s mother called her a liar and a witch the day she summoned up enough courage to tell her that her husband, Senami’s stepfather, comes to her bed almost every night gradually draining and robbing her of her self-worth and whatever belief she initially had that sex could be a beautiful thing.

 However, 7th April 2006 was another day she would not forget. It was when she met her saviour, even though she was not saved immediately. Her mother had just fired the sales girl, so Senami had to be at the shop till they got a new sales girl. Boredom was the order of the day, well until this lady walked in asking for a hundred things at once. Senami got her a chair and started to look for all the things she needed.

“Is there a place I can get a bottle of Coke around here or something?”, the lady asked.

Senami volunteered to go get her something to drink. After the lady had downed her 50cl Coke, she asked for a fruit store. A mystery this lady was, she seemed to have plenty things going through her head and maybe plenty other things she needed to do before the day was over cos she kept checking her wristwatch.  When she came back from the fruit store, she was looking even more tired than she was before so it didn’t surprise Senami when she asked permission to sit down for a little while for her dizziness to subside. Poor thing! Was she pregnant?

When she was ready to go, the lady thanked Senami for the hospitality and asked for her phone number.

“You can store my number as Senami Alade Market”

“Senami. Nice name. Maybe someday you can tell me what it means. You can store mine as Andrea. Just Andrea”, the lady said with a tired smile on her face.

Andrea had come back to the shop 3 days later to get some things, and gradually they had started to form a relationship. Senami was even able to open up to her about her stepfather, but all Andrea could do was to keep telling her to “hang in there and pray for a miracle”.

A miracle did happen, one night, when the evil stepfather came to her bed again and this time asked her to roll over. At first Senami didn’t understand what was about to happen, until she started to feel him push his male member against her anus. Senami jumped, out of shock and murderous rage. NO! THAT was one thing she would not let happen! Even if her vaginal virginity had been stolen from her, no one was going to rob her of her anal virginity, that was one cherry she wasn’t planning to pop, especially NOT by rape!

Amidst hot tears, she ran out of the house. It was 10pm and there was only one person she could call. At exactly 10:35pm, Andrea came to pick her up.

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Senami was folding her clothes into a neat pile on the bed. She’s content with her present life. Andrea trusted her to keep the house clean and tidy; and even though she wasn’t sure she would ever fully comprehend Andrea’s reasons for keeping two husbands, even under the same roof, she understood that it was none of her business. She accorded respect to Oga Eddie and Sam the same way she did to Andrea.

She thought she heard a knock on the door. There it was again. She drops the sweater she was about to fold and opens the door.

“Good morning, Senami.”

“Good morning, Oga Eddie.”

“I forgot that package I asked you to hold on to for me yesterday, may I have it now please?”

“Yes sir.” Senami replied as she went into the room and came back with Eddie’s small parcel. “Have a good day, sir.”

Eddie thanked her and dashed out of the house again. He was getting really late for his presentation. This was one of the times he wished he could fly.

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The door opened and Andrea stepped out of Sam's room with her hair tussled and a contented smile on her pretty face. It had been just over an hour since she stepped in but she admitted to herself that it would have lasted a lot longer but Sam really needed his sleep.

As she was supposed to enter her room, she thought back at the events of the morning and suddenly remembered with a pained look that she didn't even bother to wish Eddie good luck with his major presentation that that day. She felt deflated all of a sudden. She wasn't sure one woman had what it took to meet up with all these demands that were put on her but it was too early for regrets now. She got into her room, picked up her phone and called Eddie's phone.

It was switched off.

ANDREA: Episode 3

Artwork by: 'godz'

Written by: BlogAces

Co-written by: RebelKween

EDWARD

Eddie stepped out of the house clutching at his bag and dipping his right hand in the right pocket of his trousers for the key to his car. He began to whistle "Fools rush in by Elvis Presley" even has he strode towards his silver-coloured, 2009 model Toyota Corolla. He opened the passenger door, gingerly put down the bag he was carrying on the seat,shut the door then walked over to the driver side opened the door, bent as he pushed a lever to open the bonnet. Still whistling to the tune, he checked to make sure everything was in order then he shut the bonnet; got into the car; shut the door; belted up, started the car and manouvered to drive out of the compound. He honked twice even as Dogo, their Republic of Niger born gateman who doubled as their security opened the gate for him to drive out.

Eddie gave a little thought to the events of the morning and decided he couldn't be bothered with it all.

So he forgot Sam's birthday...Big Freaking Deal! Besides, he had a hectic day ahead of him. His personal company, Syntax Incorporation was about to go National and if he played his cards well, it might just go global. He had a presentation at midday at Shell HQ and he was only 99% ready. He felt safer with 100. He had spent all night getting ready for this day even though he had to dedicate an hour into helping Andrea to upgrade her company's website.

With a smile, he remembered last night. She was sitting on the couch and had her head on his shoulder. She had just showered and he could still smell the fruity fragrance of her shampoo. At a point, he was getting aroused & felt like grabbing her and making passionate love to her. The mood was just right and the atmosphere called for love making... but he had a lot of work to do. Business before pleasure was his watchword and Eddie was the kind of guy who couldn't be effective in bed when he had a lot on his mind. So his beautiful goddess, Andrea would have to wait. She slept off some minutes after 11pm and he had to carry her to her bed. He came downstairs, picked her phone, went back upstairs to put it under her pillow...

His phone rang. He looked at the phone screen, ignored the call and kept driving. It wasn't even 9 am yet so he had a little bit of time.

All of a sudden, he remembered something! He swore to himself as he took a turning at a roundabout and headed back for home. He got to the gate of the house, horned twice, got down from the car & walked towards the gate as Dogo rushed to open the small gate.

"Welcome, Oga Edward" Dogo greeted with a slight bow. "Any problem?"

"No problem, Dogo" Eddie replied as he ran into the house. With his silent Loafers he took the stairs 3 at a time and he thought of Sam as he knocked on the door...

***

"The door is not locked."   Sam shouted back.

The door opened and Andrea stepped into the room wearing her bathrobe, shut the door and then leaned on it even as she gave Sam a contemplative look.

Now from the moment she 1st set her eyes on Sam in her life, she wanted him. It was kind of strange because she knew she was very beautiful and she had guys dropping like a waterfall over her but there was something about the way Sam came across the 1st time she met him that she found fascinating. Even though he had always denied the action that led to their meeting, Andrea knew intuitively that the accident was not an accident but a well schemed and staged incident to get close to her and boy did it work! She liked very daring guys and Sam was very daring.

"So what brings the empress to my room" Sam's voice interrupted her thoughts. She ignored the sarcastic tone and kept on staring at her husband.

Now when it came to looks, Sam wasn't exactly Denzel, in fact he wasn't close. In the looks department, he wasn't even near Eddie who had a boyish, handsome look. She usually thought of Sam as ugly in a desirable kind of way. He had a rather long face that tended to look moronic sometimes but from the neck down, he was a work of art. He worked out religiously and he was fit with a capital 'F.' He lifted weights and he had the physique. With broad shoulder, well toned muscles she just loved to rub, a slim waist wit well formed hairy torso & abs to match, Sam was a physical wonder. But it didn't end there, it got better. Sam was a MAN! She wasn't sure if he worked his manhood out too but that huge monster sure looked like it and what's more? The guy had mastered the art of using it. The 1st time they made love, she swore to herself that she was never going to lose sight of this "baggage" or it's carrier for the rest of her natural life. The thought of it all began to arouse her again and she moaned silently.

"What do you want, Andrea?" Sam asked with a sigh. "You know I just got back from work and I have to sleep now.

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Eddie knocked on the door again.

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"I am really sorry, honey" pouted Andrea as she advanced towards Sam "You know I can't forget your birthday. I had a real hectic day yesterday so I slept off and only just woke up shortly before you came in."  She sat at the edge of the bed as she cast a flirty look on Sam's hairy chest. "That was why I didn't call you at midnight."

"It's okay." Sam replied.

"So am I forgiven?" Andrea wanted to know.

"Of cos you are" Sam assured her.

"I wish you a Happy Birthday, honey." Andreas said. "And I love you so much"

"I love you too, babe" Sam said. "So can I catch a few hours sleep now?"

"On your birthday?" responded Andrea. "Hell No!"

"Please, Andrea." pleaded Sam.

"Oh....kay" cooed Andrea. "But before I leave, you'll need to unwrap your 1st present of the day...ME!"

Sam eyes lit up as Andrea climbed slowly to join him on the bed. This always drove him crazy... He knew that he could never be tired of making love to Andrea as long as he lived. He grabbed her & in one swift moment, Andrea was unwrapped. With her mouth in his, he reached behind her back & the bra was off.

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The door opened.

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